Эпизод проходит в Массапекуе

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- Sure.

- Yeah.

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- Who's the guy?

- Parker, I met him at the dry cleaners.

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Did he put a little starch

in your bloomers?

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Who said that?

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No, he's really great, though.

He has this incredible zest for life.

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And he treats me like a queen.

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Except at night, when he treats me

like the naughty girl I am.

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Oh, by the way, would it be okay

if I give the toast this year?

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Are you sure you want to

after what happened at their 20th?

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- Yeah, I'd really like to.

- Hopefully this time Mom won't boo you.

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Yes. Every year Ross makes the toast,

and it always makes them cry.

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- This year, I'm gonna make them cry.

- You wonder why Ross is their favorite?

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No, really, any time Ross makes a toast,

everyone cries and pats him on the back.

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And they all come up to me and say,

"God, your brother."

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You know what they're gonna say

this year? "God, you."

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Well, I can promise you,

at least one person will be crying.

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I'm an actor, and any actor

worth his salt can cry on cue.

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- Really? You can do that?

- Oh, you kidding me? Watch.

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Well, I can't do it

with you guys watching me.

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- What are you doing?

- I'm working on my toast for the party.

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Or as I like to call it:

"Sob-fest 2002."

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- Hey, check this out.

- It's a dog.

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It's a dead dog.

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That's Chi-Chi.

She died when I was in high school.

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- You're gonna talk about their dead pet?

- It's good stuff, huh?

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- Hi.

ROSS & JOEY: Hey.

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Joey? You got a present for my parents?

That's so sweet.

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Yeah. In honor of their 35th anniversary,

I had a star named after them.

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ALL:

Aw.

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- That is so cool.

- And I got them Kama Sutra for the Elderly.

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- Do you guys have any extra ribbon?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

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What do you need? We got, uh, lace,

satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt--

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And I think my testicles

may be in here too.

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AW. Chi-Chi. Oh, I loved this dog.

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You know, uh, Monica couldn't get braces

because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.

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- What?

- You were the 200-pounder who rode her.

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Hey. Everybody, this is Parker.

Parker, this is--

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No, wait, don't tell me. Let me guess:

Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel...

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...and I'm sorry,

Phoebe didn't mention you.

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Chandler, I'm kidding.

Already you're my favorite.

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- Tell me a little about yourselves.

- Uh, actually, we should get going.

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[LAUGHS]

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Classic Ross.

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Rachel, Rachel, look how you glow.

May I?

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I think you already are.

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Rachel, you have life

growing inside you.

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Is there anything more miraculous--

Ooh, a picture of a dog. Whose is this?

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That's my old dog.

He passed away years ago.

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Well, at least you were lucky to have him.

Bow-wow, old friend. Bow-wow.

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- So where's the party?

- Out on the island. It's in Massapequa.

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Massapequa, it sounds magical.

Is it steeped in Native American history?

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Well, there is an Arby's

in the shape of a tepee.

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- I've got my notes. You got the presents?

CHANDLER: Yeah.

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- I've got the car keys.

- We're driving?

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- Yeah.

- Aces.

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- So, uh, he seems like a nice guy.

- Yeah. Yeah, I like him a lot.

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- You want to hang back and take a cab?

- Okay, otherwise I'm not going.

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[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]

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JACK: Oh.

ROSS & RACHEL: Hey.

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- Hey, Mom.

- This is such a great party.

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Thirty-five years. Very impressive.

Do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?

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- Jack?

- Why serve food on such a sharp stick?

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It's a good question, Dad.

It's a good question.

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- Congratulations, you two.

- Thank you, we're so excited.

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And also, congratulations

on your wedding.

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What?

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- Can we talk to you for just a moment?

RACHEL: Yeah.

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It's just a little thing.

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While we think it's simply marvelous that

you're having this baby out of wedlock...

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...some of our friends

are less open-minded.

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- Which is why we told them you're married.

- What?

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Thanks for going along with this.

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- We have to pretend that we're married?

- Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight.

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You can do this.

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- Can you believe that?

- I know.

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If you're gonna do the ears, you may

as well take a pass at the nose area.

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No, no, I don't want to have to lie

about us being married.

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I know. I don't either.

But it's their party, and it's one night.

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We don't even have to lie.

We just won't say anything.

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If it comes up, we'll smile,

we'll nod along...

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- Ross?

- Rachel?

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Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan.

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Congratulations on the baby

and on the wedding.

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- Here's something to get you started.

- So how's marriage treating you?

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- Unbelievable. It's great.

- I love marriage.

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We'll see you later.

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ROSS: Hey.

ALL: Hi.

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What a beautiful place.

What a great night.

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I have to tell you, being here

with all of you in Event Room C...

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...I feel so lucky. To think of all the

good times that have happened here.

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The birthdays, the proms,

the mitzvahs, both bar and bat.

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But none of it will compare with tonight.

My God, I don't want to forget this moment.

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It's like I want to take a mental

picture of you all. Click.

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I don't think the flash went off.

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- I'm gonna go find the men's room.

- I'll go with you.

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Somewhere, there is someone

with a tranquilizer gun...

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...and a huge butterfly net

looking for that man.

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I have to go too, but I don't

want him complimenting my thing.

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I'm so glad we weren't in the car.

Did he ever let up?

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He called the Long Island Expressway

a concrete miracle.

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This room. This night.

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That waiter. His shoes.

I must take a mental picture.

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Sorry.

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Were you guys making fun of Parker?

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That depends, how much did you hear?

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Well, he's a little enthusiastic.

What's wrong with that?

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- It's just-- It's so much.

- Well, so what? I like him.

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Do I make fun of the people you've dated?

Tag, Janice, Mona.

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No, because friends don't do that.

But do you want my opinion?

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In my opinion, your collective dating record

reads like a who's who of human crap.

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- I feel terrible.

- I know.

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What was wrong with Mona?

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- Open it, open it, open it.

- Yeah, baby.

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So we never got to hear

about your wedding.

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- We were surprised we weren't invited.

- Oh, no, it was just our parents.

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It was a small wedding.

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But it was beautiful.

It was small, but kind of spectacular.

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- Where did you have it?

- On a cliff in Barbados, at sunset.

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And Stevie Wonder sang "isn't She Lovely"

as I walked down the aisle.

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- Really?

- Yeah.

00:09:22,049 --> 00:09:26,053

- Stevie's an old family friend.

- Oh, my God. That sounds amazing.

00:09:26,303 --> 00:09:30,057

- I'd love to see pictures.

- Yeah, so would I.

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You wouldn't think that Annie Leibovitz

would forget to put film in the camera.

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[ROSS CHUCKLES]

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Would you excuse us for a second?

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- Um, what are you doing?

- What? I'm not you.

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This may be the only wedding

leverhave.

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- And I want it to be amazing.

- Okay. Okay. Ooh. Ooh.

00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:58,002

- Maybe I rode in on a Harley.

- Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.

00:10:03,049 --> 00:10:07,178

Say, uh, ahem, are you okay?

You seem kind of quiet.

00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:11,015

- No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you.

- And I'm with you.

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What a great time to be alive.

00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:17,563

Look at this plate bouncy thing.

00:10:18,606 --> 00:10:21,192

What an inspired solution to man's

plate-dispensing problems.

00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:22,693

Mm-hm. Yeah.

00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:26,864

- Ah. Oysters. Let me feed you one.

- That's not necessary.

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- Please?

- No, actually, I don't eat--

00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:32,119

- I won't quit until you try one.

- Okay, fine, fine.

00:10:33,454 --> 00:10:37,875

- Mm. Mm-hm. Good.

- What're they like? I've never had one.

00:10:39,877 --> 00:10:42,213

- Why don't you just try one?

- Nah, they look too weird.

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- What are you doing?

- Just going over my toast.

00:10:48,177 --> 00:10:50,346

Ah, those two will never know

what hit them.

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I can't wait. They're gonna cry so hard,

they'll be fighting for breath.

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You know, if you want to, I could just

hold them down and you could just:

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And my veil was lace,

made by blind Belgian nuns.

00:11:06,904 --> 00:11:10,324

- Blind?

- Well, not at first, but it was intricate work.

00:11:10,616 --> 00:11:14,829

And they said even though they lost

their sight, it was all worth it.

00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:18,666

- I bet you looked beautiful.

- Oh, well, I don't know about that.

00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:22,503

But there were some people that said

I looked like a floating angel.

00:11:24,296 --> 00:11:28,926

- How did you propose?

- Oh, yeah, that's a great story.

00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:34,181

Well, um, actually,

I took her to the planetarium.

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That's where we had our first date.

00:11:37,518 --> 00:11:43,190

Um, she walked in, and I had the room

filled with, uh, lilies, her favorite flower.

00:11:43,858 --> 00:11:47,653

AUNT LISA: That is so sweet.

- Shh. I want to hear the rest.

00:11:49,196 --> 00:11:52,867

Then Fred Astaire singing, uh,

"The Way You Look Tonight"...

00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:55,953

...came on the sound system

and the lights came down...

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...and I got on one knee...

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...and written across the dome,

in the stars, were the words:

00:12:02,126 --> 00:12:03,377

"Will you marry me?"

00:12:03,544 --> 00:12:05,212

ALL:

Aw.

00:12:05,671 --> 00:12:09,717

And the ring was the size of my fist.

00:12:11,093 --> 00:12:14,346

Hey, uh, Phoebe? Look, uh...

00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:19,560

...I want to apologize about before, okay?

We were being jerks.

00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:22,438

Parker's a nice guy,

and I'd like to get to know him.

00:12:22,605 --> 00:12:23,856

Then you better do it now.

00:12:24,064 --> 00:12:26,525

- Why?

- Because I'm gonna kill him.

00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:28,444

- What?

- You guys were right.

00:12:28,611 --> 00:12:31,405

He's just too excited

about everything.

00:12:31,655 --> 00:12:36,035

I mean, I'm all for living life, but this is

the Gellers' 35th anniversary.

00:12:36,243 --> 00:12:38,704

Let's call a spade a spade.

This party stinks.

00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:41,415

I know. I'm having the worst time.

00:12:41,582 --> 00:12:45,753

There was a 15-minute line for the buffet,

and when I finally got up to the plates...

00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,173

...I slipped on a giant booger.

00:12:51,258 --> 00:12:54,428

Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?

00:12:55,262 --> 00:12:58,140

I guess it could've been.

I didn't really look at it.

00:12:58,390 --> 00:13:02,353

I just wiped it on Chandler's coat

and got the hell out of there.

00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:06,523

I just thought he was such a great guy.

I was so excited about him.

00:13:06,732 --> 00:13:10,152

Well, hey, you should

be excited about him.

00:13:10,402 --> 00:13:12,738

There's nothing wrong with him.

He's a good guy.

00:13:12,947 --> 00:13:14,949

- You think?

- Yeah, know what I think?

00:13:15,157 --> 00:13:18,911

- We were all just being too negative.

- You're right.

00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:24,208

You're right. He's just embracing life.

We could all stand to be more like Parker.

00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:27,962

You know what? I am like him.

I'm a sunny, positive person.

00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:31,465

- Actually, you have a little bit of an edge.

- What's that now?

00:13:31,632 --> 00:13:33,425

[BAND PLAYING RAY ANTHONY'S

"BUNNY HOP"]

00:13:33,592 --> 00:13:36,303

- Oh, it's Parker.

- Look, the Bunny Hop.

00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:38,222

- Oh, I love it.

- You do?

00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:43,143

Are you kidding? People acting

like animals to music? Come on.

00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:44,395

[GLASS CLINKING]

00:13:45,062 --> 00:13:47,773

Okay, it's time for the toast.

00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:51,944

I know that normally Ross gives the toast,

but this year I'm gonna do it.

00:13:52,111 --> 00:13:53,946

[GUESTS GROAN]

00:13:54,113 --> 00:13:57,658

No, it's gonna be great. Really.

00:13:58,492 --> 00:13:59,910

Okay, um...

00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:04,498

Mom, Dad, when I got married...

00:14:04,748 --> 00:14:08,168

...one of the things

that made me sure that I could do it...

00:14:08,335 --> 00:14:10,796

...was the amazing example

the two of you set for me.

00:14:11,422 --> 00:14:15,092

For that, and for so many other things,

I wanna say thank you.

00:14:15,301 --> 00:14:18,887

I know I probably don't

say it enough...

00:14:19,722 --> 00:14:21,765

...but I love you.

00:14:32,651 --> 00:14:35,195

When I look around this room...

00:14:35,362 --> 00:14:39,241

...I'm saddened by the thought

of those who could not be with us.

00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:43,787

Nana, my beloved grandmother,

who would so want to be here.

00:14:45,205 --> 00:14:47,041

But she can't...

00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:48,876

...because she's dead.

00:14:52,713 --> 00:14:55,632

As is our dog, Chi-Chi.

00:14:57,676 --> 00:15:00,679

I mean, look how cute she is-- Was.

00:15:03,265 --> 00:15:05,851

Do me a favor,

pass this to my parents.

00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:11,148

Remember, um, she's dead, okay?

Her and Nana, gone.

00:15:14,985 --> 00:15:16,820

Wow.

00:15:19,239 --> 00:15:20,783

Um...

00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,577

Hey, does anybody remember when...

00:15:23,869 --> 00:15:29,416

...Debra Winger had to say goodbye

to her children in Terms of Endearment?

00:15:30,876 --> 00:15:32,378

Didn't see that?

00:15:33,295 --> 00:15:35,839

No movie fans?

00:15:37,591 --> 00:15:39,593

You want to hear something sad?

00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,595

Um, the other day

I was watching 60 Minutes...

00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:44,264

...and there was this piece

on these orphans in Romania...

00:15:44,515 --> 00:15:48,310

...who have been so neglected

that they were incapable of love.

00:15:54,942 --> 00:15:58,320

You people are made of stone.

00:15:58,529 --> 00:16:00,781

Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever.

00:16:08,205 --> 00:16:11,708

Thank you, Monica.

That was, uh, interesting.

00:16:11,959 --> 00:16:15,921

- Wasn't it interesting, Jack?

- Why don't I remember this dog?

00:16:19,299 --> 00:16:22,219

Ross? Why don't you give us

your toast now?

00:16:22,428 --> 00:16:25,514

Oh, no, Mom.

It's just Monica this year.

00:16:26,557 --> 00:16:30,936

You're not gonna say anything?

On our 35th wedding anniversary?

00:16:32,396 --> 00:16:34,148

No, of course, um...

00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:41,905

Um, everybody?

Um, ahem, I just wanted to say...

00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:45,951

...uh, on behalf of my new bride,

Rachel...

00:16:49,246 --> 00:16:53,167

...and myself, um, that if...

00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:59,339

If in 35 years,

we're half as happy as you guys are...

00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:02,634

...we'll count ourselves

the luckiest people in the world.

00:17:04,303 --> 00:17:06,263

[SOBBING]

Oh, Ross.

00:17:09,308 --> 00:17:13,937

I just wish Nana were alive

to hear Ross' toast.

00:17:20,527 --> 00:17:23,947

My God, what a fantastically

well-lit hallway.

00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:29,620

Can I, um, get you something to drink,

like a water and Valium?

00:17:30,787 --> 00:17:35,000

I must say, this apartment,

it's...there are no words.

00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:37,836

- Oh, thank God.

- It's a haven.

00:17:38,045 --> 00:17:43,383

- A third-floor paradise, a modern-day Eden.

- Yeah, I know, I know. Uh-huh. Gotcha.

00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:50,015

Listen, why don't we just, um, sit and relax,

you know, just be with each other quietly.

00:17:50,641 --> 00:17:52,559

- That sounds great.

- Uh-huh.

00:17:53,393 --> 00:17:57,314

My God, this is the most comfortable couch

I've ever sat on in my entire life.

00:17:57,564 --> 00:18:00,442

Let's try something else.

Let's play a game.

00:18:00,651 --> 00:18:03,445

- I love games.

- Shocking.

00:18:03,612 --> 00:18:07,407

Um, let's play the game of...

00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:10,327

...who can stay quiet the longest.

00:18:12,246 --> 00:18:13,747

Or Jenga.

00:18:14,957 --> 00:18:20,128

Let's play this one first, and remember,

whoever talks first loses.

00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:29,263

- I lose, now Jenga.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

00:18:30,264 --> 00:18:33,517

- Is something wrong?

- Wrong? You know the word "wrong"?

00:18:33,684 --> 00:18:36,270

Everything isn't perfect?

Everything isn't magical?

00:18:36,562 --> 00:18:40,274

Everything isn't aglow

with the light of a million fairies?

00:18:40,524 --> 00:18:42,776

They were just brake lights, Parker.

00:18:42,943 --> 00:18:47,030

Well, excuse me for putting

a good spin on a traffic jam.

00:18:47,781 --> 00:18:51,034

But you don't have to put

a good spin on everything.

00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:54,288

I'm sorry. That's who I am.

I'm a positive person.

00:18:54,454 --> 00:18:55,998

No, I'm a positive person.

00:18:56,248 --> 00:19:00,377

You are like Santa Claus on Prozac.

00:19:00,627 --> 00:19:04,256

At Disneyland, getting laid.

00:19:05,215 --> 00:19:07,801

So, what do you want me to do?

You want me to be more negative?

00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:11,555

- You want me to be less happy?

- Much less happy.

00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:15,892

Fine. Well, then to quote Ross,

"I better be going."

00:19:17,811 --> 00:19:19,313

So long.

00:19:19,479 --> 00:19:24,484

Hey. Don't let the best door in the world

hit you in the ass on your way out.

00:19:26,111 --> 00:19:28,322

[KNOCKING]

00:19:29,323 --> 00:19:33,952

Isn't this the most incredible fight

you've ever had in your entire life?

00:19:36,622 --> 00:19:42,794

We could've gone from the ceremony

to the reception with you in the sidecar.

00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:44,838

Ross, it just wouldn't have been feasible.

00:19:45,088 --> 00:19:49,593

But having a dove place the ring

on your finger would've been no problem.

00:19:52,137 --> 00:19:54,056

It was really fun

being married to you tonight.

00:19:54,222 --> 00:19:57,351

Yeah, and it was the easiest 400 bucks

I ever made.

00:19:58,935 --> 00:20:02,439

- Okay, Ross, can I, um, ask you something?

- Yeah.

00:20:02,689 --> 00:20:07,319

- That proposal at the planetarium?

- I know, I know. It was stupid.

00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:13,450

Are you kidding? With the lilies,

and the song and the stars?

00:20:13,617 --> 00:20:18,705

It was really wonderful.

Did you just make that up?

00:20:19,039 --> 00:20:22,167

Uh, no, actually, I thought about it

when we were going out.

00:20:22,376 --> 00:20:27,130

That's how I imagined

I, uh, would ask you to marry me.

00:20:28,048 --> 00:20:29,633

Wow.

00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:35,055

Well, that would've been, uh,

very hard to say no to.

00:20:38,016 --> 00:20:39,685

Well, it's a good thing I didn't do it...

00:20:39,851 --> 00:20:43,480

...because it sounds like it would have been

a very expensive wedding.

00:20:49,695 --> 00:20:53,407

- Okay, good night.

- Good night.

00:20:55,909 --> 00:21:00,664

Uh, even if the sidecar had a windscreen

so your hair wouldn't get messed up?

00:21:00,872 --> 00:21:04,209

- I will think about it.

- That's all I'm asking.

00:21:07,921 --> 00:21:10,215

Okay, that's it. I give up.

00:21:10,424 --> 00:21:14,094

At Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary,

you're the one giving the speech.

00:21:14,261 --> 00:21:18,014

You know, I don't understand why

they didn't cry. It was a beautiful speech.

00:21:18,223 --> 00:21:21,309

- Oh, come on.

- Hey. That stuff you said about true love?

00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:26,106

You were right. I mean,

we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad.

00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:30,026

And that picture of Chi-Chi

with her mischievous grin.

00:21:30,277 --> 00:21:31,862

And what you said about Nana?

00:21:32,028 --> 00:21:36,700

Oh, yeah, she really would've

wanted to be there.

00:21:37,159 --> 00:21:39,619

And you know what?

00:21:40,704 --> 00:21:42,831

I think she was.

00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:47,961

[SOBBING] Oh, good God, Ross,

how the hell do you do it'?

00:21:51,715 --> 00:21:53,717

[English - US - SDH]