Эпизод с курсами кулинарии

00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:11,554

That's no way to sell newspapers.

Try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:16,017

No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible

review in the Post.

00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,309

ALL:

Oh, no!

00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:22,606

I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around

and bought all the copies I could find.

00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:26,569

Man, this is bad.

And I've had my share of bad reviews.

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I still remember my first good one:

00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:31,991

"Everything else in this production

of Our Town was simply terrible.

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Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."

00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,206

- Hey.

ALL: Hey.

00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,542

Oh, my God!

Look at all the newspapers.

00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,670

It must be a good review. Is it great?

00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,630

Um...

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Oh, dear God.

00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:55,139

But the good news is, no one

in a two-block radius will ever know.

00:00:56,891 --> 00:01:00,227

- What about the rest of Manhattan?

- Yeah, they all know.

00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,439

- Oh, my God, this is horrible.

- I'm sorry.

00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,024

I'm so humiliated.

00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,778

But you know what they say,

there is no such thing as bad press.

00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:14,408

You don't think that, um, "the chef's

mahi-mahi was awful-awful" is bad press?

00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,370

I didn't write it.

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- God, is he right? Am I awful?

ALL: Oh, no!

00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,210

Hey, Monica, listen to me, okay?

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I'm not saying this because I'm your friend,

I say it because it's true.

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Your food is abysmal!

00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:17,972

- Ross?

- What? What?

00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,892

- I am freaking out!

- Are you?

00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,645

My due date is in one week!

00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,731

- What are you doing up?

- That is seven days.

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Look, I had a lot of water.

Can we do this after--?

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,154

No, no, no, no, Ross!

00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,990

Please, come on.

We do not have any big stuff we need.

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We don't have a changing table.

We do not have a crib.

00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,664

- We do not have a diaper service.

- Funny you should mention diapers.

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- I'm serious.

- Look. There's nothing to worry about.

00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,463

We have plenty of time.

There's a baby furniture store on West 10th.

00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,048

Tomorrow, we'll go there...

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-...and we'll get everything we need. Okay?

- Okay. Thank you. That's great.

00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:01,182

Wait, where on West 10th?

There's a really cute shoe store--

00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,101

Okay. If, uh-- If you're gonna do this...

00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,061

...then I'm gonna go do that, so...

00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,899

- Wait, Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing.

- Yeah.

00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:14,195

Um, our situation, you know, um,

what we mean to each other...

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...and, I mean, we're having this baby

together and we live together...

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Isn't that--? Isn't that weird?

00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,127

Well, uh...

00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,088

- I'm just kidding. You can go pee. Ha, ha.

- Oh--!

00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:40,137

Hey, I can't remember.

Did we say we were gonna meet here...

00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,972

-...or at the movie?

- At the movies--

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- I'll see you there.

- Joey. Now that you're here...?

00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,188

Sure, I can hang out

till I have to meet you.

00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:53,817

- How come you're not going?

- I've got a job interview to get ready for.

00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:58,948

- I thought you already have a job.

- And people say you don't pay attention.

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This is a much better job.

It's vice president of the company...

00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,911

...that does data reconfiguration...

00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,580

...and statistical factoring

and for other companies.

00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:13,420

- Wow. How do you know how to do that?

- That's what I do now.

00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,924

- Joey? Come taste this.

JOEY: What is it?

00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,552

Remember the guy that gave me

a bad review? Well...

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...I'm getting my revenge.

00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,183

You cooked him?

00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:30,229

No. He teaches a course on food criticism

at The New School.

00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,816

Before we go to the movies, I want

to make him try my bouillabaisse again.

00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:37,194

Ugh, I can't wait to read the front

page tomorrow:

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"Restaurant reviewer admits:

'I was wrong about Monica."'

00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,535

The front page?

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You really do live in your own

little world, don't you?

00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,171

Do you want these delivered,

Mr. and Mrs. Geller?

00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,716

- Oh, no, no, no. No, no.

ROSS: Heh. No, no.

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- We're not married.

- We are having a baby together...

00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,054

...but we're not involved.

00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:08,517

I mean, uh, we-- We were seeing

each other a while ago...

00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:12,646

...but then we were just friends,

and then there was one drunken night...

00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,527

Or, yes, stranger,

we'd like this delivered, please.

00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:22,865

- Why don't you fill out this address card?

- Oh, okay.

00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,452

- I noticed you picked out a lot of dinosaurs.

RACHEL: Oh, yeah.

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That's one of the reasons

why we are not a couple.

00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,208

I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.

00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,753

Really? That is so cool.

00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:40,674

Oh, don't get too worked up over it.

It sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.

00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:44,303

Oh, no. I'm fascinated by paleontology.

00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:48,599

- Have you read the Walter Alvarez book?

- Yeah, heh, I teach it in class.

00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:53,645

Oh, my God. Standing at a cash register,

I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.

00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:59,109

I love your neighborhood. There's a great

gym around the corner from your building.

00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,154

- That's my gym.

- I could tell you work out.

00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:12,831

A paleontologist who works out.

You're like Indiana Jones.

00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,962

I am like Indiana Jones.

00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,887

Hi, Pheebs.

00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,473

Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?

00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,309

It was great!

We got everything we needed.

00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,979

Oh, and Ross almost got

something that wasn't on the list.

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Ahem, a whore.

00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,903

- What?

- We were paying for our stuff...

00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,240

...and this sales woman

just started flirting with him.

00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,658

Can you believe that?

00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:51,036

- Did she know you two weren't married?

- Yeah.

00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:57,584

Oh, my God. Well, the idea--

A woman flirting with a single man?

00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,380

- We must alert the church elders.

- No.

00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:05,300

You don't understand.

You didn't see how brazen she was.

00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,679

- Sounds like you're a little jealous.

- No, I'm not.

00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:13,225

I just think it's wrong.

I mean, here I am, about to pop...

00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:17,688

...and he's out picking up

some shopgirl at Sluts-R-Us?

00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,400

Is that a real place?

00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,153

Are they hiring?

00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,449

- Hey, Phoebe. Fatty.

- Wha--?

00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,368

Hey, Chandler, why so fancy?

00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,620

Well, I got a job interview.

Big deal, too.

00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,332

It's more money. I'd be doing data

reconfiguration and statistical factoring.

00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:42,546

- I think I know someone who does that.

- Me. I do that.

00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,382

So seriously, do I look okay? I'm nervous.

00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,593

Oh, yeah. You-- Really, you look great.

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,429

You know, just don't get your hopes up.

00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,057

- Why not?

- Well, the interview.

00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,809

- What about it?

- You know.

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You don't make a very good

first impression.

00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,608

- What?

- Oh, you don't know.

00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,403

- Are you serious?

- Yes. When I first met you, you were like:

00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738

[BABBLING]

00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,156

I was like:

00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,991

Shh!

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,577

[CHUCKLES]

00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,537

What is it that I do?

00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:19,249

It's just, like, you're trying too hard,

always making jokes.

00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,127

You just-- You come off a little needy.

00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,588

Did you like me when we first met?

00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,841

Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you.

00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,302

But I am gonna run away from you.

00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:38,227

Hi. I'm Monica Geller,

chef at Allessandro's.

00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,479

Still?

00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,731

I think the things you said were unfair...

00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:46,276

...and I would like you to give

my bouillabaisse another chance.

00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,404

I don't see any reason

why I'd do that to myself again.

00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,282

Either eat it or be in it.

00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,493

SP0on?

00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,620

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,292

- So, what do you think?

- I'm torn...

00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,296

...between my integrity

and my desire to avoid a beating.

00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:11,426

But I must be honest.

Your soup is abysmal.

00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:19,518

Thattagirll Eh? We should get out of here,

there's a new class coming in.

00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,354

Welcome to Introduction to Cooking.

Before we start...

00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:26,316

...can anyone tell me the difference

between hollandaise and béarnaise sauce?

00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,071

- I can.

- Okay, go ahead.

00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,825

Well, um, they both have a egg yolk

and butter base.

00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:39,913

But a béarnaise, um, has shallots,

chervil, and most importantly, tarragon.

00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,874

- Ha, ha, very good. What's your name?

- Monica.

00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:47,004

- Monica, you go to the head of the class!

- Okay!

00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,384

All this stuff takes up a lot of room.

00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:56,179

Hey, how, uh, serious are you

about keeping Ben in your life?

00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,807

My son? Pretty serious.

00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,144

[KNOCKING ON DQOR]

00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,026

Oh, hey, Katie.

What are you doing here?

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,029

The delivery went out

and I realized they forgot this.

00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:16,575

Ah, it must have been obvious, since it

was the only thing left in your store.

00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,035

[LAUGHS]

00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:24,124

Listen, to be honest, home deliveries

aren't really part of my job description.

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,709

Oh.

00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:31,340

Oh, um, I actually came here

to ask you out.

00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:35,927

Oh. Wow. Uh, yeah, that sounds great.

00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:42,351

I'm just gonna put this back in my

pocket and pretend that didn't happen.

00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,312

Uh, I'm free now.

You want to grab some coffee--?

00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,732

- Sure.

- Horny bitch.

00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:56,114

No, you're a horny bitch!

No, you're a horny bitch!

00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,201

No, you're a horny bitch!

00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,914

So you guys go, have a really good time.

00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:07,668

I'm just gonna grab my coat.

And, uh, my whip.

00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,962

You know, because of Indiana Jones.

00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,422

[LAUGHS]

00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:18,011

Not because I'm into S&M.

00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,722

I'm not into anything weird,

you know? Heh.

00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,308

Just normal sex.

00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,106

So I'm gonna grab my coat.

00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:39,241

So you had a good day, huh?

Big commission, picked up a daddy.

00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,285

Are you okay with this?

00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,455

Oh, yeah. Yeah, please.

You guys have fun.

00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,666

- Okay. Heh.

- Yeah.

00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,000

It was nice to see you.

00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,212

Oh, and it was great to see you too.

And you look fantastic.

00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,632

- Ah, heh.

- Although you missed a button.

00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,801

Oh, actually, I, um...

00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,095

Oh, okay, I see

what you're doing there.

00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,893

I can't even believe this.

I really come off that badly?

00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,564

Ugh, it's okay. You calm down

after a while...

00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:14,234

...and then people can see

how sweet and wonderful you are.

00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:18,155

Good. Because I'm sure this

interview's gonna last a couple of weeks.

00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:22,659

All right, don't freak out, okay?

I will help you.

00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:26,538

- How long before you have to leave?

- An hour.

00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,374

- I can't help you.

- Phoebe--

00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:34,963

We'll do our best. I'm the interviewer

and I'm meeting you for the first time.

00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:39,259

- Okay.

- Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.

00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,262

- Chandler Bing.

- Oh, Bing.

00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,266

- What an unusual name.

- Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada.

00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,066

I'll let myself out.

00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,072

H93'-

00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,409

Your alfredo's dry.

Did you use your cheese?

00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:09,790

When you say "use," do you mean

"eat as a pre-cooking snack"?

00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,668

- And the cream?

- Cheese makes me thirsty.

00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:19,049

- Okay. Let's move on.

- All right.

00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:24,012

Oh. Something smells good

over at Monica's station.

00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:29,059

My God! This is absolutely amazing!

You've never made this before?

00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:31,561

Oh, no. I don't know anything

about cooking.

00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,484

I had to ask what it was called

when the water makes those bubbles.

00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,986

Wow. Hats off to the chef.

00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,198

I'm sorry, your mouth was full.

I didn't hear what you said.

00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,450

- Hats off to who now?

- The chef!

00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,953

Heh, that's right!

00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:53,208

I think you'll find if I work here

that I don't micromanage.

00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,460

I don't shy away from delegating.

00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:59,548

Mm-hm. That's good to know. But let's

stop focusing on what you don't do...

00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,591

...and focus on what you do do.

00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806

What I do do...

00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:13,436

...is manage to, uh,

create an atmosphere of support...

00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,230

...for the people working with me.

00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:18,066

I see. Nice sidestep on the "do do" thing.

00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,987

- Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

- Oh, you gotta go!

00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,906

- Okay, don't worry. You're ready.

- Really?

00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:28,869

Absolutely! Just fight all your

natural instincts, and you'll be great.

00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,915

Ah, Monica, my star student.

00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,792

Heh. You called me that before...

00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,546

...so I took the liberty of

fashioning a star out of foil.

00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:43,008

Now, no pressure. If you like my

cookies, you give me the star.

00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:44,968

[CHUCKLES]

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,722

Mm. Mm-mm-mm.

00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,349

Wow, a star!

00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:55,729

I know you all hate me,

and I'm sorry, but I don't care.

00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,524

- Okay, Joey, you're up next.

- Yeah.

00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,113

Oh, my God! This is amazing!

00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,240

You get an A.

00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:11,995

I got an A? In school?

Hey, I'm a dork!

00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,582

Joey, I'm so proud of you.

00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,919

- I think you should give him your star.

- Excuse me?

00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,256

- He doesn't even know what he's doing.

- We're all beginners.

00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,635

- Nobody knows what they're doing.

- I do. I'm a professional chef!

00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,011

[ALL GASP]

00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,139

Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.

00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,225

What are you doing

taking Introduction to Cooking?

00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,102

Yeah!

00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,650

I'm sorry. It's just that, um,

I cook at this restaurant, Allessandrds...

00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,777

...and, um, I just got

a really bad review.

00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,988

- Oh, Allessandro's? I love that place!

- You do?

00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,241

Yes, you're an excellent chef.

As a person you're a little--

00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:54,329

- Oh, totally crazy, but you liked the food?

- Ha, ha. Very much.

00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:58,416

Okay, then. I don't stink.

I'm a good chef! Okay.

00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,628

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

I don't want to go. I'm having fun.

00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,381

Actually, did either of you

pay for this class?

00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,217

Hey, if my friend says

it's time to go, it's time to go!

00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,853

Also, I was the point person

on my company's transition...

00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,731

...from the KL5 to GR6 systems.

00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:26,319

- You must have had your hands full.

- That I did. That I did.

00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,572

So let's talk a little bit

about your duties.

00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,121

My duties?

00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:40,917

All right.

00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:44,337

You'll be heading a whole division,

so you'll have a lot of duties.

00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,886

- I see.

- But there'll be 30 people under you...

00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,514

...so you can dump

a certain amount on them.

00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,647

- Good to know.

- We could go into detail--

00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,858

No, don't, I beg of you.

00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,903

All right, then. We'll have a definite

answer for you on Monday.

00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,324

But I can say with some

confidence, you'll fit in well here.

00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,536

- Really?

- Absolutely.

00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,707

- You can relax. You did great.

- I gotta say, thank you.

00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,711

I was really nervous. I'm told I come on

too strongly, too many jokes.

00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,964

And then it was really hard

to side step that "duty" thing.

00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,843

Duties?

00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,888

Doodies?

00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,807

Poo?

00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,561

Poo?

00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:47,567

Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay?

The interview was over.

00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,529

That was the real Chandler Bing.

This is some crazy guy in the hall.

00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:55,241

Call security! There's a crazy guy

out in the hall!

00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,161

Poo?

00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,997

I'll look forward to your call.

00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,130

_H6Y-

_H6Y-

00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,424

- You're back from your date.

- How are you?

00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:16,346

I'm fine. But that's not important.

What's important is how was she?

00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,724

Uh, it was fun. We just had coffee.

00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:24,521

Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee,

a little rub-rub-rub under the table?

00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,399

Heh, what's going on?

Do you not like Katie?

00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,027

No. No, she was nice.

00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,905

I mean, she was a little slutty,

but who isn't?

00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,074

Well, I liked her.

00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:41,162

Of course you did. You'd date a gorilla

if it called you Indiana Jones.

00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,416

Did you get a fresh batch

of pregnancy hormones today?

00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,921

No. It's just that-- Katie bothered me.

00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:51,422

Why? What was wrong with her?

00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,636

Ugh, there was nothing wrong with her.

All right? She was perfectly lovely.

00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,556

- Okay. So, what's the matter?

- I don't want you to date her.

00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,435

Heh, what? Why? What, are you jealous?

00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,606

Yes. And not because

I want you to go out with me.

00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,109

Because I don't want you

to go out with anybody.

00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,406

I know it's a terrible thing to even think this

and it's inappropriate...

00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:21,161

...but I want you to be at my constant

beck and call, 24 hours a day.

00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,582

I'm very sorry, but that is

just the way that I feel.

00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,504

- Okay.

- What?

00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,466

I won't date. I'll, uh...

00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,761

I'll be here with you all the time.

00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,973

Really?

00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,727

But I'm being so unreasonable.

00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:52,734

True, but you're allowed to be

unreasonable. You're having our baby.

00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,363

Oh...

00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,034

Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.

00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,578

[BOTH slc3l-l]

00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,873

You feel better?

00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:11,211

No, not really. You're pressing

the baby into my bladder...

00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,713

...and now I have to pee. Sorry.

00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,006

- Okay.

- Rash?

00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:18,635

- Yeah?

- Just one thing. Um...

00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:25,266

We live together. You're having our

baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else.

00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:28,895

Are you sure you don't want

something more?

00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:36,069

Wow. I don't know, maybe--

00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,738

Oh, Rach,

I was just messing around. Heh.

00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:45,328

- Like you did when I had to pee?

- Oh! Ha! I knew that.

00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,664

I knew that!

I was just messing with you too!

00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,170

Okay. Because for a minute

you seemed...

00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:57,298

- No, no, no, no. No! It's just-- Ha!

-...like you actually...

00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,133

That's just because

I'm such a good messer!

00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,510

Ah! Ah, heh.

00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,595

[BOTH LAUGHING]

00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,059

- Rash?

- Yeah?

00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,352

- The bathroom?

- Right.

00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:17,652

I had a great time. I learned how to bake,

ate great food.

00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:22,323

The first A I've gotten since 7th grade

and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher.

00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,828

- Oh, look. Acting for Beginners.

- Yeah.

00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:28,663

Wanna feel good about yourself?

00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,832

- What the hell!

- Okay.

00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,376

All right, let's start with some basics.

00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:39,299

Can anybody tell me what the difference

between upstage and downstage is?

00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,182

Yeah, this was a stupid idea.

00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,188

[English - US - SDH]