Эпизод, где плачет Эмма

00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:09,633

Okay, you have to realize,

I was exhausted, I was emotional.

00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,552

I would have said yes to anybody.

00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,680

Like that time

when you and I got married.

00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,600

I'm not helping.

00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,355

So you said yes to him,

and you just had our baby?

00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,776

That is right. And traditionally,

the daddy gives the mommy a present.

00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,903

But I am prepared to let that go.

00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:34,908

So when I came here to see if you

wanted to maybe start things up again...

00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:38,412

...you were engaged to my best friend?

00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,913

Well...

00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,832

Really?

00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,626

I thought Chandler

was your best friend.

00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,670

- Well, Chandler's my oldest friend.

- Mm-hm.

00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,423

- Joey's my... No! Uh-uh!

- Ah.

00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,966

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,427

Hey, I'm gonna take off.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,471

Rachel said she'd marry you?

00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:59,349

This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks.

00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,908

I don't want to be negative. So I'll say

most of the signs you bought are good.

00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:05,958

No, they ran out of "It's a Girl!"

But I can fix this one.

00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,132

- See? Huh?

- Mm.

00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,010

So sexy.

00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,471

- Honey?

- Yeah?

00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,265

[MUMBLES]

00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,810

- Honey, why don't you lie down?

- It's okay.

00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,313

Ross and Rachel will be back soon,

and then I gotta go to the office.

00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,444

Am I producing them?

00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,532

- Why are you so tired?

- I couldn't sleep last night.

00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,994

I started worrying about this big

divisional meeting I have today.

00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,329

The more I worried,

the more I couldn't sleep.

00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:48,417

You know, and then I was, like, "If I fall

asleep now, I'll get six hours' sleep.

00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,670

But if I fall asleep now,

I'll get five hours' sleep."

00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,089

No matter what I did,

I couldn't fall asleep.

00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,926

You know what you should've done?

Told yourself that little story.

00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,680

- Hi.

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,307

- Welcome home.

RACHEL: Hi.

00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,850

Phoebe did the signs.

00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:09,605

Oh, you guys, thanks for doing this.

00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,732

- Look at all that stuff people sent.

RACHEL: Oh.

00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:12,941

Oh! Ha, ha.

00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,236

Oh, my gosh. Look, there's something

every mother needs.

00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:20,782

A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up

the entire apartment.

00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:26,163

What are people think...?

Oh, you guys, I love it.

00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,333

Hey, so, uh, where's Ross?

00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,835

Uh, he's downstairs getting the stuff

out of the cab.

00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,755

- Uh, is he still mad at us?

- Well, you more than me.

00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,841

But he can't stay too mad at me.

I mean, I just had his baby. Ha, ha.

00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,260

That's not fair. I can't do that.

00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,513

I'm not sure you should be here

when he comes up.

00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,809

I didn't think I should be here either.

But somebody said he'd be over it.

00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,562

Hey, what do I know?

I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.

00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,656

The numbers we're seeing in Chicago,

New York and London are solid.

00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:05,118

But many of our field offices

have reported disappointing yields.

00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,669

Boston is down. Atlanta is down.

Houston is down.

00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,838

I could go on and on.

But instead of boring you...

00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,842

...I'll go straight to my 42-point plan.

00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,104

Walter.

00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,233

PHOEBE:

She's just so cute.

00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:40,153

Oh, I just want to bite her ear off

and use it as a sucking candy.

00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,072

RACHEL:

Mm-hm.

00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,782

Phoebe. Ha, ha.

00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,785

But I could take one of those little feet

and put it in a pita pocket.

00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,036

[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,791

- Okay. I put most of the stuff away.

- Oh, great. The pacifiers?

00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,627

- Uh, it's in the, uh, cupboard.

- The, uh, burping cloths?

00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,630

- Uh, linen closet.

- The diapers?

00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,257

In the hospital.

00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,636

Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy.

00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,847

No, I, uh, left the diapers

at the hospital.

00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,891

There's some in the bag,

but I'll run out and get some more.

00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,645

All right, thanks. Oh, could you stop

at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin?

00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,357

- Oh, sure. What kind?

- Um, let me think.

00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:22,904

What do I want?

00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,158

Please, take your time.

It's an important decision, not like...

00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:31,204

...say, I don't know, deciding to marry

someone. This is about a muffin.

00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,751

- Blueberry.

- Blueberry it is.

00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,836

Thank you.

00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,922

- Wow, he's not letting this go, is he?

RACHEL: Unh.

00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,425

God, how long do you think

that's gonna last?

00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:47,554

I don't know. He got over the

"We were on a break" thing quickly.

00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,350

You know what,

I can't worry about it right now.

00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,811

- Because I've got the cutie little baby.

MONICA: Hmm.

00:05:54,979 --> 00:06:00,150

Oh. I can't believe how much I love her.

I mean, I can't get enough of her.

00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,694

Like, right now? I miss her.

I actually miss her.

00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,906

You know, that's her?

00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:13,038

Oh, God, look at her sleeping.

Oh, I love her so much.

00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,499

- I think I'm gonna wake her up. Ha, ha.

- Oh, Rach, no.

00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,335

You know, you're never

supposed to wake a sleeping baby.

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,962

Well, I can do whatever I want.

I made her.

00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:27,177

Come on, little girl.

Oh, yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi.

00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:30,305

[EMMA CRYING]

00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:36,311

Well, I would say I told you so,

but she's kind of doing that for me.

00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,190

I'm sorry. Oh, Mommy's so sorry.

Go back to sleep. Shh, shh, shh.

00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,275

Go back to sleep.

00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,822

- Oh, it breaks your heart, doesn't it?

- Oh, it really does.

00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,450

How long do you think

we have to stay?

00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,788

Okay, if everyone's on board,

it's settled.

00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,957

Chandler?

00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,506

- Chandler?

- Yeah.

00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,675

McKENNA:

Are you on board?

00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,344

Yes.

00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:13,557

Well, then problem solved.

Chandler will run our office in Tulsa.

00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,184

You're gonna love Oklahoma.

00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,896

[EMMA CRYING]

00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,733

All right. We already tried feeding her,

changing her, burping her...

00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:28,029

Oh, try this one. "Go back in time

and listen to Phoebe."

00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,242

- All right, here's something.

RACHEL: What?

00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,911

It says to try holding the baby

close to your body...

00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,622

...and then swing her rapidly

from side to side.

00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,000

Okay.

00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,757

[CRYING STOPS]

00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,801

It worked!

00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,261

[RACHEL EXCLAIMS

THEN EMMA GAGS]

00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,763

Oh. No. Just stopped to throw up

a little bit.

00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:54,973

Oh.

00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,433

[EMMA CRYING]

00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,185

Oh. Mon, what am I gonna do?

00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:01,813

It's been hours,

and it won't stop crying.

00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:07,319

- She, Rach. Not it. She.

- Yeah. I'm not so sure.

00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,573

- Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind.

- Yeah, no kidding.

00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,494

All right, this just proves no good

can come from having sex with Ross!

00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:24,628

Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple

of blueberry muffins to go?

00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,005

- Diapers, huh?

- Yep.

00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,965

So I guess Rachel had your baby?

00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:33,053

- Yep. Can you believe it?

- Nope.

00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,806

I can't even believe

she slept with you in the first place.

00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,892

Huh?

00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,771

Oh. Oh. You, ha, ha,

mean, like, uh...

00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,731

Huh?

00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,071

Hey.

00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,951

I know you're pissed at me,

but we have to talk about this.

00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,787

Uh, actually, uh, we don't.

00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,291

Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically,

I didn't even do anything wrong.

00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:08,004

What? You didn't do anything wrong?

00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:11,841

- I said I didn't technically.

ROSS: Okay.

00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,511

Let's put aside the fact

that you "accidentally"...

00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:19,099

...picked up my grandmother's ring and

you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.

00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,184

Can I just stop you there

for a second?

00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,936

When people do this:

00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,438

I don't really know what that means.

00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,027

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,362

You were saying?

00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:36,408

And I could even understand

that you couldn't tell Rachel.

00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,579

But why couldn't you tell me, huh?

You had all day to, and you didn't.

00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:44,749

I know. I should've.

"I'm sorry."

00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,090

Not using it right, Joe.

00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,552

[WHISPERS]

Oh. "I'm sorry."

00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,015

- I'm gonna go.

- No, come on.

00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,559

- Ross, we have to get past this.

- Give me the bag.

00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,979

No, I don't know what else to do.

I said I'm sorry, now...

00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:09,024

Now you should scream at me

or curse me or hit me.

00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,735

- I'm not gonna hit you.

- You'll feel better. I'll feel better.

00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,986

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,614

You know you want to,

I can see it in your eyes.

00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,574

- No, I don't.

- A little bit.

00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,451

- No.

- Little bit.

00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,746

- No.

- A little bit more.

00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,582

- Give me the bag. Give me the bag.

- No, hit me. Hit me.

00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,876

- Give me the bag. I'm not kidding.

- Hit me.

00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,461

- No.

- Hit me. Hit me. Hit me!

00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,882

[SHRIEKING]

00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,769

- You ducked!

- I'm sorry! It was a reflex!

00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,356

- Oh, my God! This really hurts!

- I couldn't help it.

00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,692

When a fist comes at your face,

you duck. Look.

00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,194

[GRUNTS]

00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:58,073

What is the matter with you?

00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,325

You were supposed to duck!

Why didn't you?

00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,494

Let's talk on the way to the hospital.

00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:06,956

Good. Yeah, maybe while we're there,

they can check your reflexes.

00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,796

Oops!

00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,846

[EMMA CRYING]

00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,559

- Try feeding her again.

- I already fed her.

00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,437

I know. That's why I said, "Again!"

00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,982

You guys,

we can't turn on each other, okay?

00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,276

That's just what she wants.

00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,070

- Hi.

- Hey.

00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,905

Monica, can I talk to you outside?

00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:42,617

Just stay here. I'm gonna check her

diaper. Pheebs, you wanna come?

00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,704

Oh, I'm kind of part of this.

00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,333

Actually, it's a husband-and-wife

kind of thing.

00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,002

I knew I should've married Chandler.

00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,340

MONICA: Okay, what's up?

- Okay. Um, ahem.

00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,468

You know we said it would be fun

to move to Paris for a year?

00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:03,763

And you could study French cooking,

and I could write...

00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:07,392

...and we could picnic along the Seine,

and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux.

00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,103

- Oh, yeah.

- Okay.

00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,314

You know how people say

that Tulsa...

00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,318

...is the Paris of Oklahoma?

00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,406

What? Who says that?

00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,118

People who have never been

to Paris?

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,621

- Well, what's going on?

- We're moving to Tulsa.

00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,415

[MOUTHS]

Oh.

00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,211

- Excuse me?

- Okay.

00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,714

Ms. McKenna, she kind of,

uh, works above my boss...

00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,551

She asked me to move to Tulsa and

be president of our office there.

00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,929

And I was sleeping

and apparently said yes.

00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:48,683

- Tulsa, Oklahoma?

- The Sooner State.

00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,978

Whatever that is.

00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,565

Chandler, I don't even want to see

the musical Oklahoma.

00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,610

"Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin"'?

"Surrey With the Fringe on Top"?

00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,781

Are you trying to tell me we're moving

to Oklahoma or that you're gay?

00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,703

All right, not that this matters, but did

they at least offer you a huge raise?

00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:13,208

No. But they are going to lease us

a Ford Focus.

00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,669

- I'll get out of it.

- Thank you.

00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,171

[EMMA CONTINUES CRYING]

00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,507

- What is wrong with Emma?

- Oh, she misunderstood.

00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,634

She thought she was moving to Tulsa.

00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,933

Ma'am, uh, do you have a minute?

00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:34,395

I kind of have some bad news.

I don't think I can move to Tulsa.

00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,982

- What?

- Uh, it's a funny story, actually.

00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,734

Ha, ha. Ahem.

00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:43,738

Um, I kind of fell asleep

in the meeting this morning.

00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:47,408

So when I said I'd move to Tulsa,

I didn't really know what I was saying.

00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:48,827

You fell asleep?

00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,996

But only because I was up all night

worried about this meeting.

00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,832

Isn't that funny?

00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,710

Irony. Not a fan? All right.

00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,546

[CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]

00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,047

See, here's the thing.

00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,843

I went home and told my wife

about Tulsa, and she won't go.

00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,429

See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven.

Tulsa is Italy.

00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,015

Please don't make me go there.

00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,725

- Chandler, I...

- No, no, no.

00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,062

Look, Carol. Can I call you Carol?

00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,858

Why would I

when your name is Elaine?

00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,904

Sorry. Oh!

00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,740

What a great picture of your son.

Strapping.

00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,453

That's a picture of your daughter,

isn't it?

00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,749

Well, she's lovely.

I like a girl with a strong jaw.

00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,754

I'll call you from Tulsa.

00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,803

Hey. So, uh, how is it?

00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,432

- I broke my thumb.

- Your thumb?

00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,146

That's weird.

Are you sure you're punching right?

00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,440

Make a fist.

00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,484

Maybe later.

00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,570

Ross, I feel terrible.

00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:10,033

You know what, you can go.

I just have to, uh, fill out some forms.

00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,623

You, uh, want me to help you with that?

00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,627

Why, does it look like I'm having

trouble with my misshapen claw?

00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,049

Name?

00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,511

No, I know Ross.

But what's it short for?

00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,722

You know, like Rossell.

00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:34,682

Or, uh...

00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,143

Or Rosstrophor.

00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,436

Just Ross.

00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,271

Oh.

00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,522

It's pretty.

00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,694

- Okay, date of birth?

- You know my birthday.

00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,780

Sure.

00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:53,451

May... tember?

00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:58,957

- October 18.

- Occupation? Dinosaurs.

00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:05,964

Actually, I'm a paleon...

Dinosaurs is fine.

00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,049

The drawing is not.

00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,637

[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,057

All right. Uh, who do you want

as your emergency contact?

00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:20,269

- Uh, Rachel, I guess.

- Okay. Relationship?

00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,105

Ooh, boy, this could take a while.

00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,442

Just, uh...

00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,861

- Just put roommate.

- Come on.

00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,363

You guys are more than that.

00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,448

- You're gonna get together, right?

- Ahem.

00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:34,659

I don't think that we are.

00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,913

But you two are supposed

to be together.

00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,375

Well, I thought so too.

But then she said she'd marry you.

00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,086

Come on, Ross,

that didn't mean anything.

00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:48,798

She'd just had the baby. She was

all freaked out about doing it alone.

00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,343

- She would have said yes to anybody.

- Yeah, that's what she said.

00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,805

- So?

- So I don't want to be just anybody.

00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,601

- Wow.

- You know what?

00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,855

It's better this way anyway.

00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,064

[SIGHS]

00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:08,443

I don't know what I was thinking,

going down that road again with us.

00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:13,865

It's just much easier if we're

just friends who have a kid.

00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,408

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:20,204

- And you're okay with that?

- Yes. That's what we always planned.

00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,832

And if you have a plan,

you should stick to it.

00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,335

That's why they call them plans.

Hello? Ha, ha.

00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,673

I'm fine.

00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,384

Hey, for what it's worth...

00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:38,014

...with Rachel, I don't think

you'll ever be just "anybody."

00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,099

Hey, there you go.

00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,394

"Thanks."

00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,692

[EMMA CRYING]

00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:53,446

Oh, my God.

How long has she been crying?

00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,948

- About a week and a half.

- Oh.

00:17:56,116 --> 00:18:00,787

Well, it looks like you guys got it

under control, so I'm just gonna go.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,458

No? Really?

Misery really does love company?

00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,001

All right.

00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,252

[RACHEL GRUNTS]

00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,256

- Try holding her a different way.

- Look, I'm doing the best I can.

00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,593

- Anyone else is welcome to try.

- All right, I'll try. Fine.

00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,012

- Yes. Okay.

RACHEL: Okay, here you go.

00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,931

- Okay.

RACHEL: Oh, gosh.

00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,140

Shh.

00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,476

Nothing works with this child!

00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:28,356

Oh, God, what am I gonna do, you guys?

I can't even comfort my own baby.

00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,317

- I'm the worst mother ever.

- No, you're just new at this.

00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,487

You'll get better. Think about

your first day at work.

00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,281

That couldn't have been easy,

but you figured that out.

00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:41,786

Yeah, I don't think dressing

provocatively is going to help me here!

00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:46,124

- Oh, God, just please take her.

- Okay, I'll take her. Come here.

00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,376

RACHEL:

Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.

00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:52,088

- Okay.

- I have to go scream into a pillow.

00:18:55,884 --> 00:19:00,263

Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby.

00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:05,351

Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby.

00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,103

Oh, baby, baby, baby.

00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,688

[CRYING STOPS]

00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,314

[PHOEBE GASPS]

00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,692

Have I gone deaf?

00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:20,992

It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby.

Oh, baby, baby, baby.

00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,828

You must be a fireball in bed!

00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:30,418

I can't believe it. She's asleep.

I got her to go to sleep.

00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:31,627

Oh.

00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,880

I have actual magical powers.

00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,426

I can hear traffic and birds.

00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,137

I can hear the voices in my head

again.

00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,722

[PHOEBE CHUCKLES]

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,183

I'm kidding.

00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:52,023

Oh, my God!

You got her to stop crying!

00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,360

Yes, I did. I'm Monica, super aunt.

00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,865

- You are the official baby-crier stopper.

- Yes, I am.

00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:05,161

- Oh. You're never leaving the apartment.

- Say what?

00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:09,749

That's your new job, day or night.

She starts crying, I need you here.

00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:13,711

- Oh, no, no, no.

- Thankfully, you don't need me at all.

00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:18,049

So okay. Hey, super aunt?

See you later. Ha, ha.

00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,719

Rachel?

Let's give it six to eight months.

00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,181

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,350

Oh.

00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,314

Okay, so listen,

I'm gonna go lay down.

00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,274

What?

00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:38,486

The book says whenever

she's sleeping, I should be sleeping.

00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,321

So...

00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,241

[MOUTHS]

Thank you.

00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,496

- Hey.

- Shh.

00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,917

- We just got her to go to sleep.

- Oh, so there can't be any yelling?

00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:55,836

No.

00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,967

We're moving to Tulsa.

00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,927

- What?!

- Shh. Shh.

00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,303

- Chandler...

- Shh.

00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,972

Shh!

00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,932

[WHISPERS]

I can't... I can't hear.

00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,943

- Hey.

- Hey. Where have you been?

00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,861

[RACHEL GASPS]

00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:24,407

- What happened to you?

- Uh, I had a little thing with Joey.

00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,867

If you think this is bad,

you should see him. Ha, ha.

00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,913

Oh. No, Ross, this is not good.

00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:34,208

We have to talk about this Joey thing.

Please sit.

00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,212

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:42,091

All right, you have got to get over

this Joey thing.

00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:47,638

Okay? I never really wanted

to marry Joey, okay?

00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:50,641

Okay.

00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,146

You know what I really, really want?

00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,317

What, Rach?

00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,945

I wanna sleep.

00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:08,909

I wanna eat.

I wanna take a shower.

00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,705

I mean, before she wakes up,

and we gotta do this all over again.

00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,335

- Right.

- I mean, because I got news for you.

00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,546

Emma: Not easy.

00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:25,676

- Well, that's what I'm here for.

- Mm-hm.

00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,845

[EMMA CRYING]

00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:31,724

- You want me to get that?

- No, that's really okay.

00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:36,228

- Monica?

- Got it, got it, got it, got it.

00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:50,451

Uh, I've been thinking about this.

And I gotta tell you, it's not my fault.

00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,412

- It's a natural instinct.

- What are you talking about?

00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:56,457

Okay, what would you do if I did this?

00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,515

[English - US - SDH]