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Компания празднует день рождения Фиби в шикарном ресторане, но вовремя приходят только она и Джои: Моника узнает, что Чендлер курил со своими коллегами в Талсе, и вступает с ним в драку, которая позже заканчивается тем, что она обманом заставляет его заняться с ней сексом, так как у нее овуляция; Росс и Рэйчел оказываются запертыми снаружи своей квартиры, а Эмма внутри, и отчаянно пытаются вернуться внутрь. Когда все наконец добираются до ужина, Фиби уходит, чтобы встретиться с Майком, когда он закончит работу раньше. Затем Росс и Рэйчел отвозят Эмму домой после того, как их «няня», мать Росса Джуди, которая сопровождала их после того, как у Рэйчел развилась тревога разлуки, уделяет больше внимания напиткам в баре, чем их дочери. Чендлер и Моника уходят, чтобы заняться сексом, так как у нее все еще овуляция. Только Джои остается, чтобы съесть ужин всех остальных.

Эпизод с днём рождения Фиби

The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
Сезон: 09Серия: 05

Описание

Компания празднует день рождения Фиби в шикарном ресторане, но вовремя приходят только она и Джои: Моника узнает, что Чендлер курил со своими коллегами в Талсе, и вступает с ним в драку, которая позже заканчивается тем, что она обманом заставляет его заняться с ней сексом, так как у нее овуляция; Росс и Рэйчел оказываются запертыми снаружи своей квартиры, а Эмма внутри, и отчаянно пытаются вернуться внутрь. Когда все наконец добираются до ужина, Фиби уходит, чтобы встретиться с Майком, когда он закончит работу раньше. Затем Росс и Рэйчел отвозят Эмму домой после того, как их «няня», мать Росса Джуди, которая сопровождала их после того, как у Рэйчел развилась тревога разлуки, уделяет больше внимания напиткам в баре, чем их дочери. Чендлер и Моника уходят, чтобы заняться сексом, так как у нее все еще овуляция. Только Джои остается, чтобы съесть ужин всех остальных.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,047

I couldn't get a reservation

for the night of my birthday...

00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,383

...so we'll have to do dinner

Thursday night instead.

00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:14,513

- Thursday? But that's Halloween.

PHOEBE: So?

00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,016

It's just spooky, that's all.

00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,768

Uh, so is Mike coming to dinner?

00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:23,731

No. It's my first birthday

with a boyfriend, and he has to work.

00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:27,943

I'd get mad at him, but I think

it's too soon to show my true colors.

00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,405

Well, I would make the reservation

for five.

00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,198

One of us has to stay home

and watch Emma.

00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,451

- Which one of us should go to dinner?

- Oh, Rachel.

00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:41,874

Uh, actually, I was thinking

maybe both of us could go.

00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,500

Oh, yay.

00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,713

Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought

into your gift.

00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,300

All right, so great, we can all go now.

00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,178

That is fun. Hey. You know what?

00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,806

We all haven't been together,

the six of us, in such a long time.

00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,225

What are you talking about?

We're all together now.

00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:03,020

Uh, Mon? Chandler's not here.

00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,150

Oh, dear God.

00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,860

Hello, everyone. It's nice to see

our team together for the first time.

00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:55,447

Now, before we get started,

are there any questions?

00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,366

- Yes. Ken, is it?

KEN: That's right.

00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,744

Is it true the reason you're in Tulsa

is that you fell asleep in a meeting...

00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,914

...and took the job without realizing

what you were saying yes to?

00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,208

[CHUCKLES]

00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,169

Well, don't believe

everything you hear, Ken.

00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,879

But yeah, that's true.

00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:17,594

All right, let's get started by, uh,

taking a look at last quarter's figures.

00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:23,100

Uh, Claudia, aren't you supposed

to blow smoke up the boss's ass?

00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:29,648

- I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?

- No. I smoked for years. Then I quit.

00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,234

Right now, I can't remember why.

00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,237

You're not allowed to smoke

in this office though, right?

00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:39,032

Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke

in offices with 15 people or less.

00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,870

- Would you like one?

- All right, look. I don't smoke anymore.

00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,331

But if the rest of you want to light up,

go ahead, it's fine.

00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,129

So you all smoke, then? Heh.

00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:55,382

You know, it's almost rude

that I'm not smoking.

00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,968

- That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke...

- Ken, please!

00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:04,349

No, I can't. I can't smoke.

If I smoke, my wife would kill me.

00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,810

I'm sorry, but isn't your wife

back in New York?

00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,815

I've always liked you, Ken.

00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:17,779

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,656

PHOEBE:

Trick or treat.

00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,368

MONICA: Hey.

- Ooh, and "treat" it is.

00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,373

Wow. So glad I changed.

00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,753

I almost wore my threadbare robe

that can't contain my breasts.

00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,090

This is not what I'm wearing.

I'm ovulating...

00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:40,677

...and Chandler's gonna be home.

So I thought we would try before dinner.

00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,598

Oh. Wait, does that...? You guys won't

be late for my dinner, will you?

00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,975

Chandler and I have not seen each other

in over a week.

00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,727

We'll probably be the first ones there.

00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,688

Okay. See you there. Happy humping.

00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,567

Hey. Well, hey.

00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,112

Oh. Wow, somebody smoked out here?

00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,785

My God, don't people know you're

not allowed to smoke in public spaces?

00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:10,666

Actually, in Oklahoma, smoking is legal

in offices with fewer than 15 people.

00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,126

Oh, you smoked.

00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:18,090

No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia

about smoking in different states.

00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:22,844

For example, in Hawaii,

cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus.

00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:28,767

- Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.

- Do you think Monica is gonna smell it?

00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,479

Are you kidding? That woman

has the nose of a bloodhound.

00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,066

And the breasts of a Greek goddess.

00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,613

Pheebs?

00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,408

I'm gonna go.

00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,581

Okay. Something to cover the smell.

00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,129

Oven cleaner.

00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,177

Unscented.

00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,347

MONICA:

Welcome home.

00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,351

I've missed you.

00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:16,064

- You wanna join me in the bedroom?

- No, thanks, I'm good.

00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,944

Oh, okay. So you want to play it

that way, do you?

00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,864

Well, uh, you know what?

Actually, I just got off a plane...

00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,366

...so I'm feeling gross.

Maybe I should take a shower.

00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,329

- Come here, you don't need a shower.

- All right, the truth is...

00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,373

...I soiled myself

during some turbulence.

00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:40,422

What do I smell? I smell smoke.

00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,757

Did you smoke?

00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,802

Yes. But I just had one.

00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,429

Two.

00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,349

Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five.

00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,937

A pack. Two pack... A carton.

00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,607

Three big fat cartons in two days.

00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,403

But it's over. I've made a decision,

I'm not gonna smoke anymore.

00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,201

Well, those are for you.

00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,956

All right. Well, we'll just, uh,

see you when you get here. Bye.

00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,752

Oh, that was my mom.

She's stuck in terrible traffic.

00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,713

Okay, well, that is now the third sign

that I should not leave Emma.

00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,925

- What are the other two?

- Well, the first one is, I don't want to.

00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,595

And second one, I'm not going.

00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,931

I know this is the first time

we're leaving the baby.

00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,558

Hey, I know how hard it is for you. But...

00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,853

But everything's gonna be fine.

I mean, my mom is gonna be with her.

00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,189

- She's great with kids.

- She is?

00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,191

Yeah.

00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,235

What about Monica?

00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:47,531

Hey, you only hear Monica's side of that.

Okay, that little fatso was a terror.

00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:54,913

- I just don't think I can do it.

- You know what? You can and you should.

00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,082

Really, it'll be good for you.

00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,291

In fact, you know what?

00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:01,545

Why don't you go ahead to the restaurant,

and I will wait for my mom...

00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:05,424

...and then I'll meet you there?

No, no, really, you should go. Go out.

00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:12,139

Really, the world is your oyster.

Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.

00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:17,352

- You need to learn some new slang.

- I'm serious. Come on, you should go.

00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,397

Here. No, just go.

00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,524

- Well... Oh!

- No, no. You know what?

00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:26,695

You're not getting back in there.

The baby's fine. Now, scram.

00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,740

Yeah, tell your story walking.

00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,953

I was just going to say

that I left my keys.

00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,788

Oh.

00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,751

Holy moley, are we in a pickle now.

00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,633

Where is everyone?

They're 40 minutes late.

00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,802

- I know.

- I'm starving.

00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,680

I knew we were coming here tonight.

I ate nothing all day.

00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,016

What about me?

I only had one lunch today.

00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,687

So are we expecting

the rest of our party shortly?

00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,231

Yes, they are expected presently.

Yeah.

00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:07,027

Their, um... Their arrival is in the offing.

00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,488

Right. We do have

a table for two available.

00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,323

- Perhaps you'd be...

- No, they're coming.

00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,991

We're waiting right here.

00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,911

Joseph.

00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,624

One needn't worry. They shan't be long.

00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:24,377

It's just that we do have

some large parties waiting.

00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,506

Oh, one really does have a stick

up one's ass, doesn't one?

00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,553

How can you smoke in this day and age?

Have you not seen that ad? Huh?

00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:37,557

Where the little kid walks

through Grandpa? It's chilling.

00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,602

I messed up. It was a meeting.

Everybody was smoking.

00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,938

So what? Don't you have any willpower?

00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,066

Willpower? I've watched home movies

of you eating Ding Dongs...

00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,068

...without taking the tinfoil off.

00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,739

You said that was sexy.

00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:58,161

Okay, look, can we just drop this?

I'm not gonna smoke again.

00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,872

That's right, because I forbid you

to smoke again.

00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,499

- You forbid me?

- Mm-hm.

00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,544

You know, I've flown a long way

to see my loving wife.

00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,629

Is she here, by the way?

00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:13,218

Chandler, don't joke with me. Okay?

I'm very, very upset right now.

00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,804

Oh. Would you say this is the most upset

you could be?

00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,013

I think so.

00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,307

Well, then I might as well...

00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,601

...do this.

00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,406

Not really sure what to do now.

00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,201

I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,954

We're already late

for Phoebe's birthday dinner.

00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,039

So you're going to put out

that cigarette...

00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,042

...we're gonna put this fight on hold,

and go have sex.

00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,296

Fine. What?

00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,340

Sex. This is the last day I'm ovulating.

If we don't do it...

00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,676

...we're gonna have to wait

until next month.

00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,845

You're serious?

00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,515

- Oh, yeah.

- All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.

00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,685

- And no cuddling.

- And no kissing your neck.

00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,812

Oh, good. I hate it when you do that.

00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,319

And lots of kissing your neck.

00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,946

Okay, well, the super's not home.

00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,699

But my mother's gonna be here,

and she has the key.

00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:21,119

I can't wait that long. You have to do

something. Knock that door down.

00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,496

I would, but I bruise like a peach.

00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:29,836

Besides, you know, everything's

gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.

00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,881

- What if she jumps out of the bassinet?

- Can't hold her own head up.

00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,257

But, yeah, jumped.

00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,260

Oh, my God.

I left the water running.

00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:41,306

You did not leave the water running.

Please, pull yourself together, okay?

00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:45,810

- Well, did I leave the stove on?

- You haven't cooked since 1996.

00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,773

Is the window open? If the window's

open a bird could fly in and...

00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,858

Oh, my God, you know what?

I think you're right.

00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,443

- Listen.

- What? What?

00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:58,031

A pigeon. No. No, wait, no.

An eagle flew in.

00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,118

Landed on the stove and caught fire.

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:10,377

The baby, seeing this, jumps across

the apartment to the mighty bird's aid.

00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,380

The eagle, however, misconstrues this

as an act of aggression...

00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,256

...and grabs the baby in its talon.

00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,677

Meanwhile, the faucet

fills the apartment with water.

00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:22,347

Baby and bird, still ablaze,

are locked in a death grip...

00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:27,352

...swirling around the whirlpool

that fills the apartment.

00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,231

Boy, are you gonna be sorry

if that's true.

00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,570

- Hello.

BOTH: Hi.

00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,698

It's been an hour.

00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,868

The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider

switching to a smaller table.

00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,662

Maybe we should just eat now.

00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,457

You can't order until the entire

party's arrived. Restaurant policy.

00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,585

Well, how about this?

Another table leaves, right...

00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,797

...but there's still some food left

on their plates.

00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426

Okay, what's the restaurant's policy

about people eating that?

00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,554

- It's frowned upon.

- But it happens.

00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,560

- All right, I gotta go to the bathroom.

- No, you can't go.

00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,979

No, no, no.

I can't hold this table on my own.

00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,189

If they ask me to move, I'll cave.

00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,358

Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.

00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,992

Good evening, miss.

00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,911

Miss?

00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,291

Miss? Miss?

00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:36,045

Okay, fine, I'll move. All right.

You don't have to manhandle me.

00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:40,550

Where? Okay.

00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,719

Thank you.

00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,846

Wow.

00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,937

Finally, you guys made it.

00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,279

Pheebs, who the hell...? Ah!

00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,540

Spend more time with the tie.

That'll make a baby.

00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:17,670

Look, I can't do this. I can't make love

to you while we're fighting this way.

00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,173

Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity.

00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,009

But when you wanted to have sex

right after my uncle's funeral...

00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,303

That was a celebration of life.

00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,598

All right, look, I'm not gonna do this.

00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,309

Is this the way you want our baby

to be conceived?

00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,771

No, you're right.

00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,649

Yeah, we shouldn't do it like this.

00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,692

[MONICA SIGHS]

00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,530

For what it's worth, I'm sorry.

00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,991

I shouldn't have come down on you

so hard about the smoking.

00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:51,162

So you had a few cigarettes.

It's not the end of the world.

00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,957

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,459

You are incredible.

00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,170

And listen,

I'm not gonna smoke again.

00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,423

And if I do, I promise

I will hide it so much better from you.

00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,058

- Do you want to?

- Yeah, let's celebrate life.

00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,810

MONICA:

Okay.

00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,772

RACHEL:

Oh, God.

00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,816

Oh, thank God you're okay.

00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,485

I'm sorry we left you.

Mommy will never leave you again.

00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,697

Never, ever, ever again.

00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,740

Great. So let's get going.

00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,579

Oh, no. I mean it. After what just happened,

I'm never leaving her again.

00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,540

I understand. Separation is hard.

00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:39,711

One time I was about to leave Ross

to go to the beauty parlor.

00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,630

And he got so upset

he took off all his clothes...

00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:46,050

...tucked his willy between his legs...

00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:51,055

...and cried out,

"Mommy, I'm a girl. Take me with you."

00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:02,984

Somehow, over time,

it got easier to be apart from you.

00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,280

CHANDLER:

Ah.

00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:11,075

You are welcome.

00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,496

- You know what? Let's not talk.

- What?

00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:19,167

- I am still so mad at you for smoking.

- But you said you forgave me.

00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,169

It was just a couple of cigarettes,

no big deal.

00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,212

Oh, blah-blah-blah-blah.

00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:28,801

I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't

have sex with me if we were fighting.

00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:35,391

- You tricked me to get me into bed?

- That's right. I got mine.

00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,730

I feel so used.

00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,485

Well, I guess they're not coming.

You want to just order?

00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,196

Thank you.

00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,953

Waiter? All right, this is gonna

go fast, so try to keep up.

00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,246

Risotto with shaved truffles

and the rib steak...

00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,958

...with the golden chanterelles

and the Bordelaise sauce...

00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,628

...unless any of that stuff I just said

means "snails."

00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,298

- It does not.

- Tomato tart...

00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,467

...and, um, which of the pastas

would you recommend?

00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,470

- Oh, well, they're both exquis...

- Both it is. Thank you.

00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,847

Oh, uh, can I make a special request?

00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,891

Can you bring everything

as soon as it's ready?

00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,601

Appetizers, entrées, we don't care.

00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,019

ROSS: Hey.

RACHEL: Hi. Hi.

00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,400

- I'll just wait to put your order in.

- You guys are over an hour late.

00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,735

- What happened to you two?

ROSS: So sorry.

00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,280

- We got locked out of the apartment.

- That's a great story. Can I eat it?

00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,243

And then Rachel wasn't sure

she could leave the baby.

00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,871

It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday

and I did what I had to do.

00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,541

And that's Judy over there at the bar

with Emma?

00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,423

This is for the best. I'm not distracted,

worrying about Emma...

00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:52,218

...how she's doing at home, and I'm

gonna be completely here with you.

00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,720

- Oh, she spit up.

- What?

00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:57,098

She spit up. Judy? She spit...

Judy, look alive, Judy.

00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,937

RACHEL: Thank you.

- Thanks.

00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,775

ROSS: Ooh.

- Whew, everything looks delicious.

00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:11,738

What should I have?

What should I have?

00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:15,783

Never hit a woman.

Never hit a woman.

00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,703

I know what you mean,

this looks incredible.

00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,789

Ross bruises like a peach.

He bruises like a peach.

00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,209

Okay, I'll have the fig salad

and the duck.

00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,211

I'll have the, uh, soup and the salmon.

00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,380

Remember, whatever comes up first,

okay?

00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,923

- And hurry...

- Happy birthday.

00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,258

Son of a bitch.

00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,512

- Where have you been?

- Well, we had a little fight.

00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,681

I would never lie

to get someone into bed.

00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:42,477

You used to tell girls

you were a Kennedy.

00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,481

Thanks.

00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,735

Thanks. Wow.

00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,780

A little tight, isn't it?

Why didn't you get a bigger table?

00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,285

You had a big table

but they made you move.

00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,912

Ha, ha. Shut up, Monica.

00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:07,085

Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler

will have the smoked duck.

00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:13,591

And I suppose that Monica

will have the manipulative shrew.

00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,302

- I'll give you another minute.

- What, where you going?

00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,138

He said she wanted the shrew.

00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,100

Rach, come on, Emma's fine.

00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:26,479

You're turning into an obsessive mother,

okay? You need to stop.

00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:31,859

You guys ever hear the story about

when Ross' mom went to the beauty salon?

00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:38,074

- You mean the willy story?

- Ha, ha. They already know it.

00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,955

We've been waiting for you

for a long time.

00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,623

- Maybe you should order.

- That's okay.

00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,668

- I told the waiter what they want.

- Why would you do that?

00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,212

Chandler, control your woman.

00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,590

Okay, well...

Everybody has ordered.

00:18:54,758 --> 00:19:01,430

I would like to start the celebration

and make a toast to Phoebe.

00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,976

- She dropped her sock.

- Aw. What?

00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,688

- No. No, Emma dropped her sock.

MONICA: Mom's here?

00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,900

I wanted to have lunch with her today.

She told me she was out of town.

00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,154

Ross, she still has not noticed

that the baby's sock is on the ground.

00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,656

It's a good toast.

00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,492

Look, will you please get her attention?

00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,620

Mommy?

00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,082

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,756

Oh, for God's sake, Judy,

pick up the sock.

00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:39,010

Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!

00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,266

I'm sorry, was that rude?

00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,353

Did my little outburst...

00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,733

...blunt the hideousness

that is this evening?

00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,818

Look, I know you all

have a lot going on...

00:19:55,986 --> 00:20:01,908

...but all I wanted to do was have dinner

with my friends on my birthday.

00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:05,745

And you are all so late, and you

didn't even have the courtesy to call.

00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,497

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,959

Well, it's too late now.

00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,878

Yeah, Pheebs, I don't think that's us.

00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:19,550

Oh, well, this is... This is not over.

Hello?

00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,431

- What is going on with you two?

- Well, you see, I'm ovulating.

00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,226

Oh, yeah, that's what she says.

00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:34,023

But maybe you're not ovulating at all.

Maybe it's a clever ruse to get me into bed.

00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:38,861

Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was.

I just can't get enough.

00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,322

You're not gonna believe this. She lied.

00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,741

She tricked me into having sex with her.

00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,453

So? You got to have sex, right?

00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,956

What's the matter with me?

Why am I such a girl?

00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,045

- Okay. That was Mike.

- Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry.

00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,423

You are totally right.

We are here 100 percent...

00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,969

...and we love you, and we are ready

to start your birthday celebration.

00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,347

Oh. You guys,

that means the world to me.

00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,935

Okay, I'm gonna take off.

00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,188

What?

00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,774

Oh, I love you guys too,

but Mike got off work early.

00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,776

Wait.

00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:23,489

Wait. I'm not the... I'm not the kind of girl

that just ditches her friends...

00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,908

...to be with her boyfriend.

00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,410

You know what? I am.

00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,830

Bye, guys. Judy. Bye.

00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,001

Oh, thank God. If Phoebe's gone,

can we take Emma home?

00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:39,255

That's a good idea. Our babysitter

just pounded another chardonnay.

00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:40,673

- Bye, you guys.

MONICA: Bye.

00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:44,510

See you. Well, I guess it's just us.

00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,387

[ALL CHUCKLE]

00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:52,685

So I'm probably still ovulating.

Do you wanna give it another try?

00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:56,147

So you've never had sex

with a Kennedy, have you?

00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,567

- You're gonna go do it?

- We don't have much time.

00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,902

Once the egg descends into the

fallopian tube...

00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,946

Whoa, whoa, get out of here.

00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:11,662

I sincerely hope the rest of your party

is returning.

00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,206

No, just me. All alone.

00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,672

Dinner for six for one.

00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:25,676

Well, you boys are about

to see something really special.

00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,025

- How was everything, sir?

- Excellent.

00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:44,445

The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.

00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,198

Well, I hope you've got some room left.

00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:50,659

ALL [SINGING]:

Happy birthday to you

00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,496

Happy birthday to you

00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:55,664

Happy birthday, dear

00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:56,999

Joey. Joey.

00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,793

Joey

00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,171

Happy birthday to you

00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,965

This is the best birthday ever.

00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:09,553

[English - US - SDH]

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