Эпизод с другой сестрой Рэйчел

00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,635

Hey, here's an idea. Why don't

we use our wedding china today?

00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,972

No, I think we should save our china

for something really special.

00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,474

Like if the queen of England

comes over.

00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:21,061

Honey, she keeps

canceling on us. Take the hint.

00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,273

What if something breaks?

They're expensive.

00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,526

What is the point of having them

if we never use them?

00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,654

Okay. But if something breaks

and then the queen comes over...

00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:34,491

- I will explain it to her.

- Like I'd let you talk to the queen.

00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:39,455

The parade is really good this year.

00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:42,416

Man, those horses can crap.

00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,586

ANNOUNCER: Next up is a marching band

from Muskogee, Oklahoma.

00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:50,841

Muskogee?

That's like four hours from Tulsa!

00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,969

Here's the float with the stars

of the popular daytime soap...

00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,305

...Days of our Lives.

00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,685

Oh, my God!

00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,438

Aren't you one of the stars of the

popular daytime soap Days ofour Lives?

00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:08,901

I forgot! I'm supposed to be there!

00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,947

I can't believe I forgot! I usually write

stuff like this down on my arm!

00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,495

Stupid long sleeves!

00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,749

- What are you gonna do?

- I'll come up with a good reason...

00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,501

...why I wasn't there.

00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,462

The producers are gonna be mad.

They sat us down and said:

00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:33,675

"Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp.

That means you, Tribbiani."

00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,678

Like I was some kind of idiot.

00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,724

- Well, you proved them wrong.

- Yeah.

00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,318

Oh, Emma.

00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,530

This is your first Thanksgiving.

00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,074

What are you thankful for?

00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,285

Mommy's boobies?

00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,788

A lot of people are thankful for those.

00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,040

[KNOCKING]

00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,126

WOMAN:

Hello? Rachel?

00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,460

Who is it?

00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,714

WOMAN:

It's your favorite sister.

00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,258

- Jill?

AMY: Amy!

00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,343

Hide my rings.

00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,476

Amy! Happy Thanksgiving.

00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,358

Do you have a hair straightener?

00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,612

Um... Hi.

00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,238

- Hi.

- Hi.

00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,782

Hair straightener.

00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:25,329

- I haven't seen you in, like, a year.

- I know. I know. I've just been crazed.

00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,749

Well, me too. I had a baby.

00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,919

I decorated Dad's office.

00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:37,966

Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk

out of your vagina, not the same thing.

00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,637

About that hair straightener,

honey, I really need one.

00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,347

I'm gonna have dinner

at my boyfriend's house.

00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,432

[EMMA COOING]

00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,684

- Oh, my God.

- Uh-huh.

00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,229

Is this Emmett?

00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,109

It's Emma.

00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,736

AMY:

It's a girl?

00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,282

- Hey, Amy.

RACHEL: Amy, you remember Ross?

00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,327

Not really.

00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:09,206

But you are much cuter

than that geeky guy she used to date.

00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,044

That was me.

00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:18,590

No, he was this creepy guy from high

school who had this huge crush on her...

00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,634

...since, like, the ninth grade.

00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,219

Still me.

00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,721

No, I'm not talking about you.

00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,724

It was your fat friend's brother

with that bad Afro.

00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,937

Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you

some time, okay? All me!

00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,153

Careful. Careful.

00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,322

Careful!

00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,033

I'll tell you what.

For the rest of our lives...

00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,619

...I'll be careful until told otherwise.

00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,291

- This isn't the china we picked out.

MONICA: I know.

00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,836

After you left the store,

I chose different ones.

00:04:56,462 --> 00:05:00,465

- Why?

- Your taste is a little feminine for me.

00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,218

Suddenly flowers are feminine?

00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,264

Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!

00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,808

- Happy Thanksgiving. Pheebs!

- What's going on, Joe?

00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,227

Listen, I need a good lie.

00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,770

Okay.

00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:18,066

How about the whole "man walking

on the moon" thing, you know?

00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,112

You can see the strings, people!

00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:26,158

No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain

why I wasn't at a work thing today.

00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,119

- Honey, you stink at lying.

- I do not.

00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,664

Really? Let me ask you something.

Yesterday at the coffeehouse...

00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,501

...I went to the bathroom. When I came

back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?

00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,172

Somebody opened the door

to the coffeehouse...

00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,301

...and a raccoon ran in and went

straight for your muffin. I said:

00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,763

"Hey, don't eat that!

That's Phoebe's!" And he said...

00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:53,810

He said, "Joey, you stink at lying."

What am I gonna do?

00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,688

Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie.

I'll help you.

00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,525

- Great. That'd be great. Thank you.

- Sure. What was the work thing?

00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,152

Uh...

00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,447

- "Pick up Grandma at the airport."

- Oh, man!

00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,994

She's precious.

00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:15,248

Do you ever worry

that she's gonna get your real nose?

00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,334

Amy...

00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,837

Yes, I do. I really do.

00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:23,006

[PHONE RINGING]

00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,843

Hello?

00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:30,555

Yeah, hang on, one sec.

Can I take this upstairs?

00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,974

Sure. We don't live there, but...

00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:37,938

Seriously? It's just these rooms?

00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:42,484

- I thought you were a doctor.

- Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D.

00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,903

Ew!

00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,576

God, she is unbelievable.

00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,871

I know. I mean, a Ph.D.

Is just as good as an MD.

00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,832

Sure, Ross, yeah!

00:06:56,999 --> 00:07:01,420

If I have a heart attack at a restaurant,

I want you there with your fossil brush.

00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,465

- Stupid Thanksgiving.

RACHEL: What?

00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,802

- What? What happened?

- My boyfriend canceled on me.

00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,471

I mean, I finally find a real relationship.

00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:16,601

Someone that I can spend this day with,

and then his wife comes back into town!

00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:20,021

I swear, it's almost not even

worth dating married guys.

00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,232

Don't say that.

00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,111

God, I was so looking forward to this.

00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,322

It was gonna be such

a beautiful Thanksgiving.

00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,908

We were gonna have sushi.

00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,788

Amy, don't cry.

00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:40,667

- Ross, can I talk to you in private?

- Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or?

00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:48,550

Look, I was thinking,

if it's okay with Monica...

00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,303

...I would like to invite Amy

to Thanksgiving.

00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:57,559

I think that's a great idea. It'll be like

the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.

00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,813

Look, I know she's a little tough to take.

00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:06,318

But she has nowhere else to go,

and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt.

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:11,490

- And I would like them to bond.

- I don't want them bonding too much.

00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:14,201

I don't want her telling Emma

she needs a nose job.

00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:18,371

Ross, she may need one. We're just

gonna have to make our peace with that!

00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,547

- Hi!

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,926

Hey, you guys. This is my sister Amy.

00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,554

This is Chandler, Joey,

Phoebe, and you know Mon.

00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,890

MONICA: Hi.

- Oh, my God.

00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,267

You're on Days of our Lives!

00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:40,810

Yeah.

00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:44,397

Wow! They must put

a lot of makeup on you.

00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,902

Happy Thanksgiving.

00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,780

MONICA: Hey.

ROSS: Hi.

00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,160

So welcome. Is this the first time

you're seeing Emma?

00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,497

Yeah, I think so.

It's nice to meet you, Emma.

00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,044

- Phoebe.

- That's a funny noise.

00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:13,593

- Pheebs? I still need some help here.

- Right. Okay.

00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:18,181

So it's not just the lie you tell,

but it's the way you tell it. For example...

00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,685

...if you look at the ground when

you talk, people know you're lying.

00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:26,565

I don't know why this is so hard for me.

Lying is basically just acting...

00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:30,151

...and I am a terrific actor.

- You are a terrific actor.

00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,908

- Hey. Where's the baby?

- We just put her down for a nap.

00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,787

Listen, I was just thinking.

You know what would be incredible?

00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,707

If you guys died!

00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,210

Thank you, Amy.

00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,255

No, no, then I would get the baby.

00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:54,759

It would be just like a movie. At first

I wouldn't know what to do with her.

00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:59,055

And then I would rise to the occasion.

Then I'd get a makeover and get married.

00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,600

That's a great movie!

00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:06,229

Yeah. Listen, not that you guys

could stop me or anything...

00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,815

...because, you know, you'd be dead.

00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,276

But I was thinking about

changing her name.

00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,862

I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.

00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,115

Emma.

00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,784

Emma? Ross wants you.

00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,205

Phoebe!

00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,501

Why does she keep making that noise?

00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,381

Honey, I don't know

how to tell you this...

00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:37,886

...but if something were to happen

to Ross or myself...

00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:41,348

...you wouldn't get the baby.

- Well, who would?

00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:45,644

Well, we haven't officially

asked them yet...

00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,521

...but we would want

Monica and Chandler.

00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,607

I can't believe you'd want us

to raise Emma.

00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,068

Oh, my God, I'm so moved.

00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,945

I don't believe this. Hold on a second.

You guys die...

00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,615

...and I don't get your baby?

00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,160

Amy, see, we're a lot closer

to Monica and Chandler.

00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,581

We see them every day. And truthfully,

you don't seem connected to the baby.

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,377

Connected? To what? She's a lump.

00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,840

You know, guys, I've gotta say

this means so much to me.

00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:19,344

I mean, that you would

trust me with your child.

00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,138

I mean, we all know

that Monica and I have been...

00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:24,641

...trying to have a baby of our own.

00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:30,021

You know, I've had my doubts

about my skills as a father, but...

00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,608

That you two...

00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,278

- That you two...

- This guy?

00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,073

Seriously?

00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,706

Okay, it's time for dinner.

00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,583

Everyone, we're using our fancy china...

00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:54,671

...and it's very expensive,

so please be careful.

00:11:55,965 --> 00:12:00,677

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa...

00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:05,223

Okay, just to be clear, comedy with

the plates will not be well-received.

00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,649

Hey!

00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,737

How come my plate's less fancy

than everyone else's?

00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,449

Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?

00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,744

No, honey. That's a special plate.

00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,622

See, it's a game.

Whoever gets that plate wins.

00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,960

I can't believe I won!

00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,214

You know, this is such a slap

in the face. I mean, I'm your sister...

00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:42,343

...and you would give your baby

to these strangers over me.

00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,054

Monica is Ross' sister.

00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:49,392

No, Ross' sister was really fat.

00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,353

That was me.

00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:57,525

No, she was this dorky girl in school who

followed Rachel around like a puppy...

00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,069

Amy, you've got to stop doing that!

00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,037

Okay, listen, I know you're having

a bit of a family crisis...

00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,790

...but you don't have to take it out

on the plates.

00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,793

I mean, in fact, I think that everyone...

00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,880

...should cut their food like this:

00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,093

Now, see? This way,

you protect the plates...

00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,346

...and let's face it, you have fun.

00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,892

Okay, how about this?

If you guys die...

00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:34,896

...and the crazy plate lady dies...

00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:39,108

...then do I get the baby?

- No, if crazy plate lady...

00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,698

If Monica dies,

then I would get Emma. Right?

00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,454

- Well, actually...

- Actually what?

00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:55,542

It's just...

It's just that in that case...

00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,627

...then Emma would go

to my parents.

00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,255

- What?

- Hurts, doesn't it?

00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:07,011

Who has to die for me to get her?

00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,856

So if Monica's not around,

I'm not good enough to raise Emma?

00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,483

No, that is not what we're saying.

00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,402

Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.

00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,073

Well, what's wrong with me?

Am I incompetent?

00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,869

Because I managed to survive whatever

it is that killed the three of you!

00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:38,668

You're taking this the wrong way.

We think you'll be a wonderful parent.

00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,505

It's just... You're more

the, you know, fun parent.

00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:46,885

Yeah, and we wanna make sure

Emma also has someone like Monica...

00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,928

...who's more of a disciplinarian.

00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,973

Someone who can be firm and strict.

00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,726

That's not how you see me, is it?

00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,354

No, you're all about the fun.

00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:08,197

I may not know a lot about babies,

but do you really think I'm not capable?

00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,117

No. You both are equally capable.

00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,870

It's just you're strongest

when you're together.

00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,916

Okay. So if we both had Emma,

and I died...

00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,293

...she'd have to give her up.

00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,588

Sure. Monica would have to give her up.

00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,091

I lie better than that, right?

00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:32,430

Let me just get this straight.

So my two friends die, I get Emma.

00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:36,684

Then my wife dies. Then Emma,

the one tiny ray of hope left in my life...

00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:40,355

...gets taken away from me?

- There's your movie.

00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,736

Hey, there you are.

00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:50,114

- You disappeared after dinner.

- Did somebody miss me?

00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,242

Was there a child to raise poorly?

00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,995

Ross and Rachel don't know

what they're saying.

00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,081

It's not like they're so responsible.

00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,710

Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot

and a five-year-old condom.

00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:08,549

No, but they're right. I'm not a strong

father figure, and I never will be.

00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,386

No, you learn these things.

You grow into it.

00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,388

Yeah, but it's not who I am.

00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:18,726

Everything they said is exactly why I was

worried about having a kid. And it's true.

00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:21,854

- And look, everybody knows it.

- I don't know it.

00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,608

I wanna have a kid with you because

I think you'll be an amazing dad.

00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:28,403

At the fun parts and at the hard parts.

00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:32,115

Well, can you picture me saying,

"Go to your room, you're grounded"?

00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:35,326

Can you hear me say,

"You're grounded"?

00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,954

You said that to me last week.

00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:43,292

How hard is it?

"No shoes on the furniture!"

00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:53,970

The producer from Days left a message

asking why I wasn't at the parade.

00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:58,349

They said everybody's really pissed off

at me. And they all got to meet Santa!

00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,437

It's okay.

I thought of the perfect lie for you.

00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:06,107

It's easy to remember,

and it doesn't invite a lot of questions.

00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:10,153

You weren't at the parade,

because you had a family emergency.

00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,905

I like that! Yeah!

00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,950

I wasn't at the parade,

because I had a family emergency.

00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,201

What happened?

00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:21,372

- My sister's raccoon came...

- No, nothing with a raccoon!

00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:27,336

- Wait, what are you doing?

- Setting the table.

00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:30,882

We thought it might be nice

to use the fancy china for dessert too.

00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,136

How nice. Maybe later we can all

blow our noses on my wedding dress.

00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,729

Hey, dude, you okay?

Sorry about before.

00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:49,108

That's okay. You're totally right. I don't

know anything about disciplining a child.

00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:53,821

But it did hurt my feelings,

and I want you to know that if I die...

00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,240

...you don't get Joey.

00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:08,544

[SNARLS]

00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,048

In case you hadn't noticed,

I'm not talking to you.

00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,508

[SNARLS]

00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,929

You know, this is just...

This is classic Rachel.

00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:22,600

Right. Remember in high school when

I died and didn't give you my baby?

00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,106

This might be my one chance

to have a child, Rachel.

00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,359

I mean, you know that I have been

so busy focusing on my career...

00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:35,613

- What career?

- I'm a decorator.

00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,200

You decorate Dad's office

and now you're a decorator?

00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:44,038

Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday,

now I'm a koala bear.

00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:50,670

- Why can't you ever be supportive?

- You want to talk supportive?

00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:54,632

You didn't come and visit me when

I was in the hospital having the baby!

00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,803

You didn't come see me in the hospital

when I was getting my lips done!

00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,473

I did the first time.

00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:08,104

You know what? You want to know

why I am not giving Emily to you?

00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,690

- Emma.

- Whose side are you on?!

00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:16,612

I'm not giving you Emma, because you

can't handle the responsibility of a child.

00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,073

Well, how hard could it be?

You do it.

00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,117

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:28,166

You wanna know why

you don't want me to have the baby?

00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,585

Because you don't want me to be happy.

00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:34,380

- You have always been jealous of me.

- Jealous of what?

00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,259

Of your lack of responsibility?

Your immaturity?

00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,429

Your total disregard

for other people's feelings?

00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,973

To name a few.

00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,476

You've always been like this.

00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:51,063

You had to have everything,

and I couldn't have anything.

00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:54,442

Like in junior high,

when you stole Timmy from me.

00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,486

I mean, do you even realize

how much that hurt me?

00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,156

Timmy was my boyfriend,

and you made out with him!

00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,325

Come on, that was 20 years ago.

Get over it.

00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:06,704

I cannot believe

that I invited you here today!

00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,791

Yeah, well, you know what I cannot

believe? That my so-called sister...

00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:15,796

...gets a 30% discount from Ralph

Lauren, and I still have to pay retail?

00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,049

[CHUCKLES]

00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,759

It's 45.

00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,970

You bitch.

00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,475

You just think you're so perfect...

00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:31,354

...with your new baby

and your small apartment.

00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:37,318

Well, let me tell you something.

Your baby isn't even that cute.

00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,195

[GASPING]

00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:43,074

Too far, Amy. Too far.

00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,328

- You take that back.

- No.

00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,956

- Take it back!

- No. What are you gonna do? Make me?

00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:53,084

Hey, man, I work out!

00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,587

- So do I.

- I do Pilates.

00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,506

- I do yoga.

- Bring it on!

00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,926

Put the plates in the boxes!

Put the plates in the boxes!

00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,806

- Did you just push me?

- Yeah, I think I did.

00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,307

All right, that's it.

00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,310

Forget the bubble wrap!

There isn't time!

00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,356

Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy!

00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,822

- Shouldn't we stop this?

- Are you out of your mind?

00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,366

Let's throw some Jell-O on them!

00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:28,494

[SPITTING]

00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,664

Gross!

00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:48,306

All right, that is it! This is our apartment,

and you cannot behave this way!

00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:51,225

If you can't act your age,

you shouldn't be here at all.

00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:56,314

Those plates may not be as nice as

the pretty pink ones that I picked out...

00:21:57,190 --> 00:22:02,278

...but they're important to Monica.

And I want you to apologize to her now.

00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:05,072

AMY: I'm sorry.

RACHEL: Mon, I'm so sorry.

00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,158

Okay. That's better.

00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,703

Now, I want you to apologize

to each other and mean it.

00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,705

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:16,250

By the way, that fight

was totally arousing.

00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,381

Dude, well done.

00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:27,636

If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies,

you can totally take care of Emma.

00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,139

Yeah? Well, thanks.

00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,768

So...

So now do I get Joey?

00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:40,483

Okay. But you should know he eats a lot

and shoves pennies up his nose.

00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,782

- Are you okay, Mon?

- Uh-huh.

00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:51,660

I mean, these things happen.

I mean, it's just a plate.

00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:55,581

- It's not like somebody died.

- It's all right. You can mourn.

00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:59,919

Thank you. It was so beautiful!

00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,298

I'm gonna go to Joey's

and get the pies.

00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:08,260

Actually, not pies. It's just pie.

00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,847

I don't care.

00:23:12,015 --> 00:23:15,601

Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold.

00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,774

RACHEL:

Look, Amy...

00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,818

...we got a little...

00:23:23,985 --> 00:23:26,821

...a little out-of-control over there.

00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:28,989

And I'm sorry.

00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:31,742

You're my sister...

00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,328

...and if it really means

that much to you...

00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:37,623

- So you're gonna give me the baby?

- No, I was...

00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:40,876

I was gonna let you use

my Ralph Lauren discount.

00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,172

You are not gonna regret this.

00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:47,842

[EMMA CRIES]

00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:51,262

- She needs changing.

- No, no, no. I'll get her.

00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:55,975

I am super confident, totally responsible

and fourth in line to raise Emma.

00:23:56,143 --> 00:24:00,521

I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me

get my trusty diaper bag here.

00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:09,155

Well, what do you know?

I guess I'll be the one who dies first.

00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:24,253

- Does Monica know about her plates?

CHANDLER: Nope.

00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,963

- Broke them all, huh?

- Yep.

00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,007

- You gonna tell her?

- Nope.

00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:33,679

Hey. So I'm gonna

put the plates back.

00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:37,391

I think you're right. We shouldn't

use these plates for a long time.

00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:41,103

- Like only if the queen comes?

- Maybe not even then.

00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,689

Hey. I did it.

00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,401

I told my producer I had a family

emergency. He totally bought it.

00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:52,239

- Thanks for teaching me how to lie.

- No problem. Next week, stealing.

00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,577

- Bye, plates.

- You told her you broke all the plates?

00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,749

What?!

Something happened with the plates?

00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:07,129

Yeah, this raccoon came in...

00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,510

[English - US - SDH]