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Фиби и Росс становятся жертвами нападения одного из старых друзей Фиби с улицы (Кайл Гасс), но, узнав её, отпускают. Росс узнаёт, что Фиби — это та самая, которая ограбила его в подростковом возрасте и украла его оригинальный комикс «Science Boy». Тем временем Чендлер устраивается на неоплачиваемую стажировку в рекламное агентство, но чувствует себя не в своей тарелке из-за своего возраста, увидев, что другие стажёры — подростки. Джои проходит прослушивание на роль в бродвейской пьесе с Леонардом Хейсом (Джефф Голдблюм), но вынужден идти на мучительные крайности (включая многочасовое терпение), чтобы получить роль после того, как Хейс говорит, что ему не срочно нужна роль. Специальный гость: Джефф Голдблюм в роли Леонарда Хейса

Эпизод с хулиганством

The One with the Mugging
Сезон: 09Серия: 15

Описание

Фиби и Росс становятся жертвами нападения одного из старых друзей Фиби с улицы (Кайл Гасс), но, узнав её, отпускают. Росс узнаёт, что Фиби — это та самая, которая ограбила его в подростковом возрасте и украла его оригинальный комикс «Science Boy». Тем временем Чендлер устраивается на неоплачиваемую стажировку в рекламное агентство, но чувствует себя не в своей тарелке из-за своего возраста, увидев, что другие стажёры — подростки. Джои проходит прослушивание на роль в бродвейской пьесе с Леонардом Хейсом (Джефф Голдблюм), но вынужден идти на мучительные крайности (включая многочасовое терпение), чтобы получить роль после того, как Хейс говорит, что ему не срочно нужна роль. Специальный гость: Джефф Голдблюм в роли Леонарда Хейса

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,259

- Uh, Monica's pregnant!

- Really?

00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,805

Let's get past the moment.

00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,849

- What's your news?

- Thank you.

00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,268

I got a job in advertising.

00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:20,479

- Oh, honey, that's incredible!

PHOEBE: Wow.

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,441

Gosh, what's the pay like?

00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,737

Oh, come on, people.

00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,905

If I don't know who makes the most...

00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,616

...how do I know who

I like the most? Hi, Joey.

00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,121

It pays nothing. It's an internship.

00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,206

We have interns at Days of our Lives.

00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:42,460

Right. So it'll be the same,

except less sex with you.

00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,589

So, uh, what do you think

they'll have you do there?

00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:49,925

It's a training program,

but they hire the people they like.

00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,095

- That's great!

- There's gonna be some grunt work...

00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,891

...which will stink. A grown man

getting people coffee is humiliating.

00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,354

Humiliating and noble.

00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,232

Thank you.

00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,070

You know, if I didn't already

have a job...

00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,322

...I would've been good in advertising.

00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,241

Ross, you did not come up with

"got milk?"

00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,410

Yes, I did! I did!

00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,123

I should've written it down.

00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,384

JOEY: Hey.

- Hey.

00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,804

Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him

good luck on his first day.

00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,473

And I smelled bacon. Ha, ha.

00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,893

- He just left.

- Who did?

00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,189

Joey, you're never gonna

believe it! She called!

00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,941

- She did'?

RACHEL: You got it!

00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:30,776

- I did?

- What is she talking about?

00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,195

I don't know, but it sounds great!

00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,531

No, your agent called.

You got that audition!

00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,074

- With Leonard Hayes?

RACHEL: Yes!

00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:40,953

Oh, my God, that is great!

It's for a play on Broadway.

00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,249

And in a real theater. Not that little one

underneath the deli like last time.

00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,084

- Is it a good play'?

- It must be.

00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,420

I read it and didn't

understand a single word!

00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,757

- Leonard Hayes is starring in it.

- Yeah, and directing.

00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,427

Oh, he was so good

in that movie of Macbeth.

00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:00,431

- You saw that?

- No, but I saw the previews.

00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,641

- They played it right before Jackass.

- Ah.

00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,268

Oh, yeah, yeah. He has.

00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,395

- He's done some amazing work.

- Oh, yeah.

00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,731

Oh, I loved him

in those phone commercials.

00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:12,776

When the monkey hits him in the face

with the giant rubber phone. Ha-ha-ha.

00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,904

Maybe the monkey

will be at the audition.

00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,406

Don't make me more nervous

than I already am!

00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,586

- Good morning.

- Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?

00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,714

Oh, no, no. I'm an intern,

just like you guys.

00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:38,469

Except for the tie, the briefcase

and the fact that I can rent a car.

00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,471

Seriously, you're an intern?

00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:44,183

I'm heading in a new career direction

and you gotta start at the bottom.

00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,644

Dude.

00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:53,067

I know I'm a little older than you guys,

but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.

00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,113

The comedian. USO.

00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,617

Uh, it's U.S.A., sir.

00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:12,169

This is Joey Tribbiani.

Joey, these are the producers.

00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,297

And as you probably already know,

this is Leonard Hayes.

00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,758

JOEY:

Wow.

00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,847

It is so amazing to meet you.

I am such a big fan of your work.

00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,518

Well, I've been blessed with

a lot of great roles.

00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:32,856

Tell me about it, huh?

"Unlimited nights and weekends!"

00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:37,319

Are you making fun of me?

Because I am not a sellout.

00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,197

I didn't do it for money.

I believe in those phones!

00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:44,743

I almost lost a cousin

because of bad wireless service.

00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:49,081

No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think

you were great in those commercials.

00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:50,582

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,836

Well, I do bring a certain

credibility to the role.

00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,462

- It's true.

- Are you kidding?

00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,256

When they shoot

you out of that cannon--

00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,966

[MIMICS CANNON FIRING]

00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,302

"Hang up that phone!"

00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,178

- One take.

- Wow.

00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,055

Did that in one. I know.

00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,267

- So shall we read?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:11,812

Top of Act 2. This is my entrance.

You got it?

00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,772

Mm-hm.

00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,652

What the hell are you still doing here?

00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,071

Oh. Uh.

00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,615

- I think you know.

- Bastard!

00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,328

I am what you made me.

You know what? I could go right now.

00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,205

- Go! Go!

- I can't.

00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:34,084

Oh, I want to, Long Pause...

00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,380

...but I can't.

00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:45,304

I'm so sorry. You're not supposed

to say "long pause."

00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:51,310

Oh! Oh, I thought that was your

character's name. You know?

00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:54,938

I thought you were, like, an Indian

or something, you know, with the...

00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,857

- Sorry.

- Long Pause.

00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,903

No. Thank you so much for coming in.

We appreciate it. Thank you.

00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,905

Sure you don't want me to do it again?

00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,698

- I could do it with an accent.

- No.

00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,033

You know, Southern.

00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,619

[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT]

"I could go right now, mon!"

00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:09,953

Huh?

00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,708

My God in heaven.

00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:20,172

Joey, hang on for a second. Leonard,

can we talk to you for a moment?

00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,382

Yes?

00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,925

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,094

You've gotta be kidding.

See, he can't act.

00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,720

[WOMAN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,514

I don't care if you think he's hot.

00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,725

If you wanna sleep with him,

do it on your own time. This is a play.

00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,727

[WOMAN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,729

No, listen, if you insist on this...

00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,940

...I will call my agent so fast...

00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:42,111

...on a cell phone connection so clear,

he's gonna think I'm next door!

00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:48,534

Uh, hi. Uh, thank you so much

for whispering for my benefit.

00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,996

If you tell me what I did wrong, I would

love to work on it and try it again for you.

00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,499

And also, how you doing?

00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,668

[CHUCKLES]

00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,965

Would you please just give me another

chance? I really wanna get better. Please?

00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,174

Really?

00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,094

Well, if you wanna come back today...

00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,179

-...here are my notes. Ready?

- Yeah.

00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:12,141

Um, you're in your head.

You're thinking way too much.

00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,560

I really doubt that.

00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:19,022

No, no, no. It's that you're not connected

with anything in your body.

00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,483

- No urgency. The scene is a struggle.

- Uh-huh.

00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,734

- It's a race.

- Uh-huh.

00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,154

Also, what you did was horizontal.

00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,991

- Don't be afraid to explore the vertical.

- Uh-huh.

00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:33,704

And don't learn the words.

Let the words learn you.

00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,586

Couldn't I just sleep with

the producer?

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,800

Hey, do you wanna go

to dinner tonight?

00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,554

Oh, I can't. I've got a date

with that waitress, Katie.

00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:54,141

Yeah, I know we've only gone out,

like, twice, but I don't know...

00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:58,937

-...I have a good feeling about her.

- Oh, I hear divorce bells.

00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,982

Give me your wallets,

and there won't be a problem.

00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,942

- What?

- I have a gun.

00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,321

Okay, just relax, Phoebe.

Just stay calm.

00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,742

Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet!

00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,414

- All right, lady, now give me your purse.

- No.

00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,168

What do you mean, "no"? I knew

you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay!

00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,422

- Lowell, is that you?

- Phoebe?

00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:30,302

- Oh, my God!

- Unbelievable! Oh, my God! Oh!

00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:34,932

I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend,

Lowell, from the streets! Ha, ha.

00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,518

- Lowell, Ross.

- Ross, nice to meet you.

00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,853

Yeah, a real pleasure.

00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:44,274

- Oh, it's been so long! Oh, so long.

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,945

- I can't believe you're still doing this.

- Ah, I know. But I quit smoking.

00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,905

Good for you.

00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782

You look like you're doing well.

00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,367

I guess your mugging days

are behind you.

00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,618

Oh.

00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,121

Oh, my God.

Phoebe, you used to mug people?

00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,543

Excuse me, Ross,

old friends catching up.

00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,798

_H6Y-

_H6Y-

00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:11,426

- How'd the audition go?

- They wanna see me again, but, uh...

00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,346

...boy, Leonard Hayes did not like me.

00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:18,183

- What happened?

- Oh, he said I wasn't urgent enough.

00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:23,689

Everything I did was horizontal,

and I should be more vertical.

00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,110

- Oh, and he said that I should think less.

- Well, so far so good.

00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,281

Honey, I'm old!

00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:34,658

What's wrong?

00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,997

I am so much older than these other

interns. I can't compete with them.

00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,707

So you're a little older.

00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,835

Look at the positive.

You have all this life experience.

00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:50,591

Yes, but I don't think life experience

is gonna help me with these.

00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:56,221

Wow! It's like they're on fire!

00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,181

Ooh.

00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,437

- What are they?

- Prototype sneakers.

00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,189

I need ideas on how to sell them.

Which I can't do...

00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,151

...because no self-respecting adult

would ever wear these.

00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,861

I'll give you $500 for them.

00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:18,076

- What am I supposed to do?

- Come on, sneakers are easy.

00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,955

- You wear them all the time.

- They're not called sneakers anymore.

00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:28,045

They're called "kicks" or "skids."

I think I heard somebody say "slorps."

00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,342

They've got wheels that pop out from

the bottom so you can roll around...

00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,928

...because apparently

walking is too much exercise.

00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:41,475

"Kids! Kids! Roll your way

to childhood obesity!"

00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,479

Would you help me try to sell these?

00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:50,734

Okay. Have you considered

using a girl with huge knockers?

00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,403

That's not what they're looking for.

00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,156

Hey, that would work on me.

00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,325

Why do you think I buy

Mrs. Butten/vorth's?

00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,794

- Hey.

ROSS: Hey.

00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,338

MONICA: Hey.

- You'll never guess what just happened.

00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,174

- Phoebe and I got mugged!

- Are you okay?

00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,968

Yeah, because Phoebe knew the mugger.

00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,221

How do you know a mugger?

00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,684

I'm sorry, I have friends

outside the six of us.

00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,978

Know how she knew him?

Because Phoebe used to mug people.

00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,897

Seriously?

00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,609

Well, I'm not proud of it,

but, you know...

00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:37,989

...when I was living on the street and

I needed money for food and stuff...

00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,077

- That is awful.

- I wasn't rich like you guys, okay?

00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,789

I didn't eat gold

and have a flying pony.

00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,669

I had a hard life.

My mother was killed by a drug dealer.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,005

- Your mother killed herself.

- She was a drug dealer.

00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:01,430

It was a good thing Phoebe knew him.

I was about to do some serious damage.

00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,014

Okay.

00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:07,686

This must have brought back

some bad memories for you, Ross.

00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,689

- Why?

- Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.

00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,151

- You were?

- Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic.

00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,486

It was outside St. Mark's Comics.

00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:21,658

I was minding my business, seeing what

kind of trouble Spider-Man got into.

00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,910

Ahem, Wonder Woman. Ahem.

00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,205

Anyway, I was heading

towards this bakery...

00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,834

...to pick up a couple of dozen

linzer tortes for someone...

00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,299

...when out of nowhere, this thug

with a pipe jumps out and says:

00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,760

-"Give me your money, punk!"

- Oh, my God.

00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,804

I know. And the worst part was

they took my backpack...

00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:48,810

...which had all the original artwork I had

done for my own comic book, Science Boy.

00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:52,189

Oh, yeah! What was

his superpower again?

00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,275

A superhuman thirst for knowledge.

00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,029

I better get to class.

00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:02,407

Are there any more of your friends

I should look out for on my way?

00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,702

No. Actually, you might wanna

stay away from Jane Street.

00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,412

That's where Stabby Joe works.

00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,378

- Okay, I think we have a problem here.

- What?

00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:20,717

Well, um, back in my mugging days,

I, um, worked St. Mark's Comics.

00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,804

- Yeah?

- Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice...

00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:28,767

...and, um, preteen comic-book nerds

were my meat.

00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,603

So?

00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,273

There was one kid who had

a sticker on his backpack that said:

00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,692

BOTH:

"Geology rocks!"

00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:44,741

- Oh, my God!

- I know! I mugged Ross!

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583

- You're late.

- I know. I'm sorry.

00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,502

But can I just run to the bathroom?

00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,714

- No. Leonard doesn't wait.

- But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!

00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,593

Joey, here we go!

Let's go. Very quickly.

00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,179

- I really need--

- We must go now, quickly.

00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,432

- Yeah. Yes, sir. Ahh.

LEONARD: Ready?

00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:14,187

- What the hell are you still doing here?

- I think you know!

00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,942

- Oh, you sick bastard!

- I am what you made me! Know what?

00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,862

- What?

- I could go right now.

00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:29,911

- Then go. Go!

- Oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!

00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,292

Cut. That was good!

00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,004

- Very good. You did everything I asked.

- I did?

00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,757

Yes. Plus which, you've got this,

I don't know, this squirmy quality...

00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,927

...you bring to the character

I couldn't have imagined.

00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,637

Wow, hey, here's what we're gonna do:

00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,348

Come back tomorrow

for the final callbacks.

00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,643

Do all of this, what you got going now.

But you know what?

00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,395

More. More. Can you do that?

00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:59,900

Sure. I don't have time to say

thank you because I really gotta go!

00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,322

Look at that! Still in character.

I like him.

00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:10,285

I plant seeds. I can't explain it.

I don't know.

00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,250

- Hey. What are you doing?

- Hey. Putting on the sneakers...

00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,211

...to get in the young mindset,

see if it sparks anything.

00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,089

- Oh, anything yet?

- Yes, how's this?

00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:28,261

"They're so uncomfortable, it's like

getting kicked in the nuts for your feet."

00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,475

- Hey.

CHANDLER & MONICA: Hey.

00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,063

[JOEY HUMS]

00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527

You're probably wondering

what I'm doing. Ha, ha.

00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,321

No, that seems about right.

00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:52,160

Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee.

Apparently, that makes me a good actor.

00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,913

I got a callback, so I'm drinking

everything. Oh, by the way...

00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,832

RACHEL: Mm-hm.

-...that eggnog in our fridge was great!

00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:02,587

- Joey, that was formula.

- We gotta get more of that.

00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:08,885

These aren't half bad. You should

suggest these to Ralph Lauren.

00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:14,224

Okay, first of all, that's stupid.

Second, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph.

00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,728

All right. I feel younger already.

00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,942

Yeah, I think I broke my hip.

00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,779

PHOEBE: Hey, you!

- Hey.

00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,532

Hey. How was class?

00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,451

No one ever asks me that.

What's wrong?

00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,664

- Nothing. I really wanna know.

- Oh, uh.

00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:42,210

Well, there was actually a rather

lively discussion about the Pleistocene--

00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,921

All right, nothing is worth this.

00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,842

Um, I have a confession to make. Um...

00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,012

Okay, you know that, um, girl that

mugged you when you were a kid?

00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:57,892

What are you talking about?

It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.

00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,604

You don't have to lie anymore.

I know that it was a 14-year-old girl.

00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,356

- No, it wasn't.

- Yes, it was.

00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:07,736

No, it wasn't. You don't think I would have

defended myself against a 14-year-old--?

00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,656

-"Give me your money, punk!"

- Oh, my God, it was you!

00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:17,120

I can't believe it. You mugged me?

00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:21,374

Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross.

I'm sorry.

00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,252

But, you know, if you think about it,

it's kind of neat.

00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:30,133

I mean, well, it's just that I've

always felt kind of like an outsider.

00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,845

You know, the rest of you have

these connections that go way back...

00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:38,641

...and, you know, now you and I

have a great one.

00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,603

It's not the best!

00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,899

I know. Please forgive me.

I don't know what to say.

00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,819

There's nothing you can say! That was

the most humiliating thing ever.

00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,239

- Really? Even more humiliating than--

- Let's not do this!

00:17:56,326 --> 00:18:00,080

And then, at the end of the commercial,

the girls get out of the hot tub...

00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,707

...and start making out

with each other. Huh? Huh? Huh?

00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,295

That's interesting.

00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,341

Just one thought:

You didn't mention the shoes.

00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,471

- Who's next? Chandler.

CHANDLER: Okay.

00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,474

You start on the image of

a guy putting on the shoes.

00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684

- He's about my age.

- Pfft! Your age?

00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,561

Uh-huh.

00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,273

So he's rolling down the street

and he starts to lose control.

00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,984

Maybe he falls.

Maybe he hurts himself.

00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,863

Just then, a kid comes flying by

wearing the shoes.

00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:37,659

He jumps over the old guy and laughs.

And the line reads:

00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,537

"Not suitable for adults."

00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:45,375

- Well, Chandler, that's great.

- Oh, thank you, sir.

00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,545

Or, man who's two years

younger than me.

00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:54,634

You see, that has a clear selling point.

It appeals to our key demographic.

00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,804

- How did you come up with that?

- I don't know! I don't know!

00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:03,685

I was just trying to get into a young

mindset, and stuff started to flow.

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,523

- That is great. Good work.

- Thank you.

00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,692

We'll see all of you tomorrow.

00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,621

The cold weather hurts my hip.

00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:34,757

Hey, Ross. I know you're still mad at

me, but can I just talk to you for a sec?

00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,469

Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry.

Sure, go ahead.

00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,932

I just really wanted to apologize again.

00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,937

And also show you something

I think you'll find very exciting.

00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,275

Oh, my God! "Crap from the street!"

00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:00,325

Look, Ross. In this box...

00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:05,079

...are all the things I got from mugging

that I thought were too special to sell...

00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,289

...or smoke.

00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,753

Anyway, I was looking through it,

and I found...

00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,214

...Science Boy.

00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,760

Qh, my God!

00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,511

[SIGHS]

00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,139

- I never thought I'd see this again.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,349

What--?

00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,516

[SIGHS]

00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,060

It's all here!

00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,519

- Yeah.

ROSS: Ha, ha.

00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,773

What made you save it

all these years?

00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,442

I guess I just thought

it was really good.

00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,986

And maybe it would be

worth something one day.

00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:41,324

You really thought Science Boy

was worth saving?

00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:46,621

Yeah. But you should know I also have

a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here.

00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,335

Still, this is amazing!

00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,462

Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe.

00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:59,092

You're welcome. And thank you for

Science Boy. I learned a lot from him.

00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,177

You're welcome.

00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:07,558

- I need an answer!

- I can't tell you something I don't know.

00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,644

- You know!

- I don't know!

00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:15,775

- I need an answer now!

- You want an answer? The answer is...

00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,240

Aw...

00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,077

She never loved me.

She only loved you.

00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,997

You knew this all along

and you never told me?

00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:34,252

I can never forgive you, or myself. I have

nothing to live for. Bang! And scene!

00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,506

Absolutely amazing.

00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:44,804

- The part is yours.

- Thanks! Now I really got to get going.

00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:48,933

Wait, wait, wait! Congratulations.

You did it.

00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,937

You did it. You can relax now. Yeah.

00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:54,522

[SIGHS]

00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,827

Wow! That's a big cable bill.

00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:13,875

Ha. You don't have a job,

but you have no problem ordering porn.

00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:17,086

On a Saturday afternoon?

00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,797

I was in the house!

00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,303

Hey, uh, Phoebe didn't by any

chance mention that--

00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,972

She was the huge guy

that mugged you? Yeah.

00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,684

I see. You didn't happen to tell--

00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:35,521

- Everybody we know? Yeah.

- Great. Thanks.

00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,318

[English - US - SDH]

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