Эпизод с поминками

00:00:05,785 --> 00:00:09,038

Hey, Ross. Check this out.

00:00:13,751 --> 00:00:15,503

Yeah, I can't do that. Heh.

00:00:16,921 --> 00:00:18,882

- What are you doing?

- Have you seen this?

00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:21,468

It's our new alumni website for college.

00:00:21,676 --> 00:00:25,388

You can post messages for people,

let everyone know what you're up to.

00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:29,976

Oh, great. A faster way to tell people

that I'm unemployed and childless.

00:00:30,185 --> 00:00:33,146

It's actually interesting to find

out what people are doing.

00:00:33,313 --> 00:00:34,772

Remember Andrea Rich?

00:00:34,981 --> 00:00:37,108

- Tall girl, wouldn't sleep with you?

- Uh-huh.

00:00:37,317 --> 00:00:42,071

Well, her Internet company went under,

and she lost an ear in a boating accident.

00:00:43,406 --> 00:00:45,909

Bet she'd sleep with you now.

00:00:47,327 --> 00:00:49,662

No, I already e-mailed her.

00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,832

Let me see what you wrote

about yourself.

00:00:52,999 --> 00:00:57,086

- Oh.

-"Doctor of paleontology, two kids."

00:00:57,295 --> 00:01:00,882

Wait a second. You split with Carol

because you had different interests?

00:01:01,049 --> 00:01:05,303

I think you split with Carol because

you had one very similar interest.

00:01:06,429 --> 00:01:09,516

You know what? I'm gonna finish this later,

okay? Let me just grab my coat.

00:01:09,682 --> 00:01:11,351

Okay.

00:01:14,270 --> 00:01:17,398

What, did you think you learned how

to do it in the last two minutes?

00:01:21,694 --> 00:01:24,364

Maybe we finish this for him.

00:01:29,118 --> 00:01:32,914

Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab.

00:01:33,623 --> 00:01:36,292

She is now my girlfriend.

00:01:37,544 --> 00:01:41,881

I don't care what society says,

it's the best sex I've ever had.

00:01:43,383 --> 00:01:47,679

- And send.

- No, no-- You can't do that to him.

00:01:47,845 --> 00:01:49,847

- All right, let's go.

- Dude!

00:01:50,014 --> 00:01:54,519

Uh, I think you made it clear you can't be

trusted with the ball inside the house.

00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,069

And send.

00:02:44,319 --> 00:02:46,571

RACHEL:

Hey. How was basketball?

00:02:46,779 --> 00:02:49,657

It was fun. Right up until Chandler

got a finger in the eye.

00:02:49,824 --> 00:02:51,743

Oh, no. Who did that?

00:02:51,909 --> 00:02:54,245

Chandler. Yeah.

00:02:54,746 --> 00:02:56,539

H93'-

00:02:57,457 --> 00:02:58,666

- Rash?

RACHEL: Yeah?

00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:01,836

What's Huggsy doing

in the crib with Emma?

00:03:02,503 --> 00:03:04,631

She was just crawling around

and she found him...

00:03:04,797 --> 00:03:07,175

...so I just let her sleep with him.

00:03:07,342 --> 00:03:11,054

- That's all right, isn't it?

- Of course. Yeah.

00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:16,476

It's a stuffed animal, you know?

It's for kids. Not for adults.

00:03:16,643 --> 00:03:18,353

I know that.

00:03:18,561 --> 00:03:21,439

Joey, you're sure? I mean,

I know how much you love him.

00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:26,819

Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay?

I do not love Huggsy.

00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,822

I like him a normal amount.

00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:33,576

All right. Well, Emma loves him.

00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:37,205

Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she?

He's a wonderful person.

00:03:41,918 --> 00:03:44,962

- Hi.

- Hey, Phoebe. How you doing?

00:03:45,129 --> 00:03:48,424

- You feeling better?

- Breaking up sucks.

00:03:48,591 --> 00:03:52,428

- Oh, I really miss Mike.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:03:52,637 --> 00:03:56,432

I've tried everything to feel better.

I even tried writing a song about it...

00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:58,851

...but I can't think of anything

that rhymes with:

00:03:59,018 --> 00:04:00,311

[SCREAMS]

00:04:02,772 --> 00:04:05,692

Hey, Monica, I'm gonna need

your help getting through this.

00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:08,069

You're saying you're

not gonna need my help?

00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:10,488

No. When I get to the point

where I'm ready...

00:04:10,655 --> 00:04:14,033

...to hear cruel, mocking jokes

about Mike, I'm gonna come to you.

00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,162

Oh, good, because I've already thought

of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth.

00:04:19,205 --> 00:04:21,708

Okay. I mean,

I know I did the right thing.

00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:23,418

Mike never wants to get married...

00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:26,629

...and I shouldn't be in a relationship

that has no future.

00:04:26,796 --> 00:04:29,132

But pretty soon,

I'm gonna miss him so much...

00:04:29,298 --> 00:04:32,260

...I'm gonna want to see him again,

and you have to stop me.

00:04:32,468 --> 00:04:34,721

Okay, you got it.

00:04:36,723 --> 00:04:40,143

Unless...

Am I being too crazy about this?

00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:42,103

All right, so, you know,

there's no future.

00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:45,148

But that doesn't mean

we still can't have fun.

00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:49,068

- You know what? Forget what I said.

- Really?

00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:52,947

- All right, if that's what you want.

- That was a test, and you just failed.

00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:56,993

Damn it! Rookie mistake.

00:05:01,122 --> 00:05:03,624

I have sex with dinosaurs?

00:05:06,252 --> 00:05:08,921

I believe I read that somewhere.

00:05:09,672 --> 00:05:12,508

Not only is it not funny,

it's physically impossible. Okay?

00:05:12,675 --> 00:05:17,847

Depending on the species, I'd have

to have a 6-foot-long-- It's not funny!

00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,642

I respectfully disagree.

00:05:21,851 --> 00:05:24,187

I can't believe you put that

on my alumni page.

00:05:24,395 --> 00:05:27,023

- Who cares? Nobody reads those.

- You better hope not...

00:05:27,231 --> 00:05:29,484

...because I just read what

you put on your page.

00:05:29,692 --> 00:05:33,029

- I don't have a page.

- Oh, I respectfully disagree!

00:05:51,214 --> 00:05:55,218

JOEY: Look at you. All sweet

and innocent, sleeping like an angel.

00:05:55,802 --> 00:05:59,263

With Emma's chubby little hands

wrapped around you.

00:06:01,307 --> 00:06:04,769

It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep.

00:06:04,936 --> 00:06:06,229

[EMMA CRYING]

00:06:06,437 --> 00:06:09,315

Step away from the crib!

I have a weapon!

00:06:09,482 --> 00:06:13,236

It's okay! It's okay, Rach!

It's me! Put down the scrunchie.

00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:16,864

- What are you doing?

- Well, I heard Emma stirring...

00:06:17,031 --> 00:06:20,076

...so I came in to make sure

she could reach Huggsy.

00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:25,289

Oh. Oh, thanks. All right, well, now that

I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:29,043

Okay, there you go, sweetie.

00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:31,504

This isn't over.

00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:39,053

Wait a second. Why would

Ross tell everyone in your class...

00:06:39,262 --> 00:06:43,099

...that you are

"as gay as the day is long"?

00:06:44,058 --> 00:06:47,228

Because I told everyone

he slept with dinosaurs.

00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:52,692

Well, that's clearly a joke.

This could easily be true.

00:06:52,859 --> 00:06:53,985

[PHONE RINGING]

00:06:54,151 --> 00:06:58,447

Would you get that, please? People have

been calling to congratulate me all day.

00:07:01,868 --> 00:07:03,035

Hello?

00:07:03,202 --> 00:07:07,039

No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife.

00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,293

Yeah. Well, it came

as quite a shock to me too.

00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:14,171

Well, I guess I should've known. Yeah.

00:07:14,338 --> 00:07:17,258

He just kept making me watch

Moulin Rouge.

00:07:17,425 --> 00:07:19,051

Hang up- Hang UP-

00:07:19,218 --> 00:07:21,178

And that was a great movie.

00:07:23,139 --> 00:07:25,933

I'm so gonna get back at Ross.

00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,477

Oh, yeah, this'll show him. Here we go.

00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:32,023

- What are you doing?

- Oh, you'll see, my friend!

00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:39,071

I'm dead?

00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:43,117

And so young.

00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:47,580

Posting that I died?

That really isn't funny.

00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:49,749

Well, how you died was funny.

00:07:49,957 --> 00:07:52,627

Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?

00:07:53,419 --> 00:07:57,548

It kills over one Americans every year.

00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:01,594

Unbelievable. My classmates

are gonna think I'm dead.

00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:04,847

My professors. My parents

are gonna get phone calls.

00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:07,016

You're messing

with people's feelings here.

00:08:07,224 --> 00:08:08,768

You wanna talk about people's feelings?

00:08:08,935 --> 00:08:11,062

You should have heard how hurt

Professor Stern was...

00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:14,231

...when I told him I wouldn't be able

to go with him to Key West!

00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,778

You've really crossed a line here.

But that's okay.

00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:21,739

Because I'm on my way

to buy some Photoshop software...

00:08:21,906 --> 00:08:23,491

...and a stack of gay porn.

00:08:23,658 --> 00:08:26,869

That's right. Your coming-out

is about to get real graphic!

00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,169

God, I wish Mike were here.

00:08:35,795 --> 00:08:38,965

Okay, if Mike were here,

what would the two of you be doing?

00:08:40,257 --> 00:08:43,177

What are you, animals?

It's 4:00 in the afternoon.

00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:47,974

I gotta call him. Just to talk to him.

There's no harm in that.

00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,850

Phoebe, that's how it starts.

00:08:50,017 --> 00:08:53,521

"I don't need to eat the cake,

I'll just smell the icing.

00:08:53,688 --> 00:08:57,900

Why not just a little sliver?"

Or, "Okay, just a slice or two."

00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:00,236

You know, the next thing you know,

you're 210 pounds...

00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:03,155

...and you get wedged in going

down the tunnel slide.

00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:06,993

Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard.

00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:10,413

But look, if you talk to him,

then you're gonna want to see him.

00:09:10,579 --> 00:09:13,332

And if you see him, you're gonna

wanna get back together.

00:09:13,499 --> 00:09:16,252

And I know that's not what you want.

00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:20,256

All right, so give me your phone.

00:09:20,548 --> 00:09:22,550

- Here.

- Thank you.

00:09:22,717 --> 00:09:26,595

- And now your cell.

- Okay.

00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:32,601

There you go.

00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:43,237

- This is your cell phone?

- Yes.

00:09:43,446 --> 00:09:45,948

This is your current cell phone?

00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:50,661

Yes.

It reminds me of a simpler time.

00:09:52,246 --> 00:09:54,623

Phoebe? Where's your purse?

00:09:57,209 --> 00:09:58,836

“Hey! No!

- No!

00:09:59,003 --> 00:10:00,796

- Give it to me!

- You can't have it.

00:10:00,963 --> 00:10:03,049

- Give it to me!

- No.

00:10:05,176 --> 00:10:07,136

- I'll go in there.

- Oh, yeah.

00:10:07,303 --> 00:10:08,512

MONICA: Come here!

- No!

00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,641

MONICA: Give it to me!

- You're crazy! God.

00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:14,977

Aha!

00:10:15,144 --> 00:10:17,480

Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing!

00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:26,113

Hey, look who's here. It's Joey.

And he brought home a friend.

00:10:26,322 --> 00:10:27,364

Joey, Emma's right here.

00:10:27,531 --> 00:10:30,451

You promised not to bring girls home

in the middle of the day anymore.

00:10:30,659 --> 00:10:33,537

No, no, no, it's not a girl. It's...

00:10:33,704 --> 00:10:35,998

-...a brand-new Huggsy!

- Oh.

00:10:36,582 --> 00:10:39,877

Oh, that's so great.

Now Emma has two Huggsies.

00:10:40,044 --> 00:10:44,173

No, no. Oh, no.

No, Emma has one Huggsy.

00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,050

The new Huggsy. Huh?

00:10:46,217 --> 00:10:49,804

The other Huggsy, I don't know,

I guess I'll just take him back.

00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:54,850

You know what? When I was a little girl,

I had a little pink pony named Cotton.

00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:59,522

Oh, I loved her so much. I took her

everywhere. I would braid her tail--

00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,649

Make the transfer!

00:11:05,736 --> 00:11:09,740

Should I be concerned that a button fell

off the old Huggsy and I can't find it?

00:11:09,949 --> 00:11:13,285

Don't worry about it.

I swallowed that years ago. Hey.

00:11:13,452 --> 00:11:14,995

[EMMA CRYING]

00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:18,707

Oh, what? I don't think

she likes the new Huggsy.

00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:21,752

- But he's the same.

- I think she wants the old one back.

00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:24,964

- Yeah, but he's the same.

- Joey, come on.

00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:27,800

But he's the same.

00:11:30,302 --> 00:11:32,888

You're not the same.

00:11:35,015 --> 00:11:36,308

Aha!

00:11:36,684 --> 00:11:39,186

You know, it's a lot

less surprising to do that...

00:11:39,353 --> 00:11:41,647

...after I've buzzed you into the building.

00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:46,277

So, Phoebe, why are there

men's shoes by the door?

00:11:47,111 --> 00:11:49,572

- Those are my shoes.

- Oh.

00:11:49,738 --> 00:11:52,867

Well, when you get over this breakup,

we need to go shopping.

00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:56,495

Look, Monica, I really appreciate

you checking in on me.

00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:59,123

- But I'm actually feeling a lot better.

- You are?

00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,750

Yeah, I just kind of want

to be alone right now.

00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,836

[KNOCKING ON DQOR]

00:12:04,336 --> 00:12:08,507

- Who's that?

PHOEBE: I ordered Chinese food.

00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:13,470

What are the chances?

00:12:14,054 --> 00:12:17,892

One billion Chinese people,

and they send Mike!

00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:25,149

- What are you doing here?

- Phoebe called me.

00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,902

- Phoebe!

- I'm sorry. I broke down.

00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,361

I wanted to see him.

00:12:29,528 --> 00:12:31,655

Damn it, Phoebe,

how did you even call him?

00:12:31,864 --> 00:12:34,116

There's a speakerphone

on the base unit.

00:12:34,325 --> 00:12:37,703

Base unit. Think, Monica, think!

00:12:37,953 --> 00:12:41,207

- Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she--

- This doesn't concern you.

00:12:42,666 --> 00:12:46,045

Sorry. I guess I was thrown off

by the mention of my name.

00:12:47,796 --> 00:12:50,007

Look, guys, you can't do this.

00:12:50,174 --> 00:12:52,551

It's gonna make getting

over each other harder.

00:12:52,718 --> 00:12:56,889

Not if nothing happens.

Why can't we just hang out as friends?

00:12:58,432 --> 00:13:02,186

Sure. If you're just gonna hang out

as friends, then maybe I'll join you.

00:13:02,394 --> 00:13:04,021

I'm your friend and Mike's friend.

00:13:04,521 --> 00:13:05,731

Well...

00:13:08,359 --> 00:13:10,486

PHOEBE:

Sit down.

00:13:12,404 --> 00:13:15,950

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Make room for your friend.

00:13:26,335 --> 00:13:29,171

- So how have you been?

- I've been pretty good.

00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:37,930

- You look really beautiful.

- Thanks. You look good too.

00:13:38,097 --> 00:13:42,476

No, no, no. This is dangerous territory.

Keep it clean.

00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:45,688

So how's the piano playing going?

00:13:45,854 --> 00:13:48,816

Actually, I've been playing a lot

of love songs lately.

00:13:49,441 --> 00:13:53,320

- I've missed you.

- I've missed you too.

00:13:56,031 --> 00:14:00,953

You know, on the way over here,

I saw this drunk guy throw up.

00:14:02,329 --> 00:14:04,331

And then a pigeon ate it.

00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:10,587

Hey. Ross.

00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:13,632

Look, I just wanted to apologize.

00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:17,469

Don't tell me you actually made

those gay pictures of me.

00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:20,597

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check this out.

00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:23,642

So that's what I'd look like

if I worked out.

00:14:24,768 --> 00:14:27,438

And was being serviced by a policeman.

00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:30,691

You're not gonna actually

send these out, are you?

00:14:30,899 --> 00:14:34,862

Actually, I don't need to, because your

little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work.

00:14:35,029 --> 00:14:36,780

Okay? There were no responses.

00:14:36,947 --> 00:14:39,700

Nobody posted anything on the website,

nobody called my parents...

00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:41,577

...so the joke, my friend, is on you.

00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:46,373

Nobody called, nobody wrote anything,

nobody cares that I'm dead.

00:14:50,669 --> 00:14:52,296

Oh, my God.

00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:56,216

- Nobody cares that I'm dead?

- Oh, come on, you know that's not true.

00:14:56,383 --> 00:14:58,802

What are you talking about?

You get 60 responses...

00:14:58,969 --> 00:15:00,679

...just for coming out of the closet.

00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:04,141

I didn't get one response, and I'm dead!

00:15:04,308 --> 00:15:08,729

Well, the gay community is a lot more

vocal than the dead community.

00:15:08,896 --> 00:15:14,777

I can't believe this. Not even my geology

lab partner. And I carried that guy.

00:15:14,943 --> 00:15:16,904

All right.

Look, let's think about this, okay?

00:15:17,071 --> 00:15:20,240

You think people are gonna disturb

your family at this tragic time?

00:15:20,407 --> 00:15:23,077

That people are gonna post condolences

on a website?

00:15:23,243 --> 00:15:25,329

This isn't about people

not caring that you're dead.

00:15:25,496 --> 00:15:29,416

This is about people not having

a decent outlet for their grief.

00:15:30,501 --> 00:15:33,128

- You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.

- Right.

00:15:33,295 --> 00:15:35,672

Come on. I'm sure if you had a funeral

or memorial service...

00:15:35,839 --> 00:15:38,092

...tons of people would come.

00:15:38,675 --> 00:15:40,636

Exactly!

00:15:41,845 --> 00:15:43,430

Ross, what are you doing?

00:15:44,431 --> 00:15:46,683

You're having a memorial service

for yourself?

00:15:47,142 --> 00:15:50,229

No, that would be stupid.

You're having it for me.

00:15:51,563 --> 00:15:55,734

- Ross, don't press send. Don't press--

- No, too late. Too late. It's sent.

00:15:55,901 --> 00:15:58,862

Sorry, so is that picture

of you and the policeman.

00:16:01,115 --> 00:16:03,909

I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap.

Have you seen Huggsy?

00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:05,994

Uh, original or crappy?

00:16:07,413 --> 00:16:09,957

- Original.

- No. Sorry. Haven't seen him.

00:16:10,165 --> 00:16:12,876

Then what's that big lump

under your covers'?

00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:17,506

- It's Monica, okay?

- That's not Monica!

00:16:17,673 --> 00:16:21,009

All right, fine! It's original Huggsy!

00:16:22,678 --> 00:16:25,222

I know Emma wants him,

but he's mine and I need him.

00:16:25,389 --> 00:16:28,016

She's being unreasonable.

00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:31,645

Joey, there is a reason that Emma

loves that stupid penguin so much!

00:16:31,854 --> 00:16:33,939

Oh, don't cover its ears!

00:16:34,648 --> 00:16:38,402

It's because it reminds her

of her Uncle Joey.

00:16:39,278 --> 00:16:40,988

- It does?

- Yeah.

00:16:41,155 --> 00:16:46,034

And she's comforted by him because

she loves her Uncle Joey so much.

00:16:46,243 --> 00:16:50,080

- Really? She loves me?

- Oh, yeah.

00:16:50,289 --> 00:16:53,250

But you know what?

If you need Huggsy, don't worry.

00:16:53,417 --> 00:16:56,628

Emma will totally understand.

I won't, but whatever.

00:16:56,837 --> 00:17:01,383

Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, Rach.

I mean, if...

00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:05,179

If Huggsy means that much

to Emma, then...

00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:06,889

Well, she can have him.

00:17:07,264 --> 00:17:09,975

Oh, sweet, I knew Uncle Joey

would step up.

00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:14,146

- Look, Emma. Look who's back.

- No, forget it! Forget it! I can't do it!

00:17:14,354 --> 00:17:17,232

Are you--? You're gonna take

Huggsy away from a little child?

00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:19,818

How do you think I got him

in the first place?

00:17:22,404 --> 00:17:24,740

All right, you two.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

00:17:24,907 --> 00:17:26,992

I don't want anything going

on while I'm gone.

00:17:27,242 --> 00:17:29,203

Here's a few things you can discuss:

00:17:29,369 --> 00:17:33,624

Mucus, fungus, and the idea

of me and Ross doing it.

00:17:37,169 --> 00:17:38,587

I've missed you so much.

00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:42,633

I'm not gonna ask you to get back together.

I know we want different things, but...

00:17:42,799 --> 00:17:45,385

- Just to be with you one more night.

- I want that too.

00:17:45,552 --> 00:17:49,723

- But is that gonna make it too hard?

- It can't be any harder than this.

00:17:49,932 --> 00:17:53,435

I mean, if I had known the last time

I saw you would be the last time, I--

00:17:54,228 --> 00:17:57,231

I would have stopped to memorize

your face, the way you moved.

00:17:57,397 --> 00:17:59,608

Everything about you.

00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:03,862

If I had known the last time I kissed

you would be the last time...

00:18:04,029 --> 00:18:06,490

...I never would have stopped.

00:18:07,783 --> 00:18:10,327

Kiss him, you fool!

00:18:10,994 --> 00:18:13,413

- What?

- Didn't you hear that speech?

00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,832

If you don't kiss him, then I will.

00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:19,169

I missed you so much.

00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:23,382

- I knew you'd be here!

- Aw, crap.

00:18:23,549 --> 00:18:27,386

- Who is this?

- It's my friend Manny.

00:18:27,553 --> 00:18:30,556

I asked him to keep me away from you.

00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:35,561

- Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe.

- Well, you're not doing a very good job.

00:18:36,144 --> 00:18:38,272

- Excuse me?

- What's with the kissing?

00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,024

Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.

00:18:41,191 --> 00:18:44,361

Yeah, thank God you were here

to oversee all the kissing.

00:18:45,362 --> 00:18:48,031

- You didn't hear the speech.

MANNY: I've heard the speech.

00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,450

If he knew it was gonna

be the last time--

00:18:50,617 --> 00:18:52,995

Hey, it was very moving.

You're just heartless!

00:18:53,203 --> 00:18:55,581

- You're weak!

- You're weird!

00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:58,417

- Your pants are undone.

- Oh!

00:19:01,128 --> 00:19:03,255

Where'd they go?

00:19:04,131 --> 00:19:07,551

- Damn it.

- Well, we blew it.

00:19:07,718 --> 00:19:09,886

I blame myself.

00:19:10,304 --> 00:19:12,306

And I blame you too.

00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:22,441

It's been an hour, and not one

of my classmates has shown up?

00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:26,570

I tell you, when I actually die, some

people are gonna get seriously haunted.

00:19:27,613 --> 00:19:28,905

[KNOCKING ON DQOR]

00:19:29,072 --> 00:19:31,033

There you go. Someone came.

00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:33,452

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go hide.

00:19:33,619 --> 00:19:37,080

This is so exciting. My first mourner!

00:19:40,167 --> 00:19:42,502

Hi. Glad you could come.

00:19:42,669 --> 00:19:46,298

- Please come in.

- Hi. You're Chandler Bing, right?

00:19:46,465 --> 00:19:50,886

- I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your class.

- Oh, yes. Yes, let me take your coat.

00:19:51,053 --> 00:19:54,765

Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry

about Ross, it's...

00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:57,601

No, at least he died doing what he loved.

00:19:57,768 --> 00:20:00,062

Watching blimps.

00:20:05,442 --> 00:20:07,944

- Who is it?

- You know some guy, Tom Gordon?

00:20:08,195 --> 00:20:09,571

I don't remember him.

00:20:09,738 --> 00:20:13,450

But then again, I touched so many lives.

00:20:15,744 --> 00:20:17,287

So did you know Ross well?

00:20:17,454 --> 00:20:20,624

Actually, I barely knew him.

I came because I heard Chandler's news.

00:20:20,791 --> 00:20:22,709

Do you know if he's seeing anyone?

00:20:27,047 --> 00:20:33,428

- Yes, he is. Me.

- What? You mean--? Oh.

00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:38,058

Can I ask you a personal question?

How do you shave your beard so close'?

00:20:40,435 --> 00:20:42,729

Okay, Tommy!

That's enough mourning for you.

00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:46,274

Here we go. Bye-bye. All right.

00:20:46,441 --> 00:20:50,237

- Hey, listen. Call me.

- Okay.

00:20:52,531 --> 00:20:57,160

- I'm dead and no one cares?

- I look like a man?

00:20:57,828 --> 00:21:00,747

Please, one ridiculous problem

at a time.

00:21:00,914 --> 00:21:03,709

This isn't ridiculous.

Look around, no one's here.

00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,629

You gave them one day's notice. Not

everyone checks the website every day.

00:21:07,796 --> 00:21:10,090

And Monica, it's probably

the way you stand!

00:21:12,509 --> 00:21:15,887

I guess you're right.

Still, somebody must have seen it.

00:21:16,054 --> 00:21:20,058

I mean, I went to that school for four years

and I didn't have an impact on anyone?

00:21:20,225 --> 00:21:23,520

Well, that's not true.

You had an impact on me.

00:21:23,687 --> 00:21:26,398

I mean, it's 15 years later

and we're still best friends.

00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:28,984

Doesn't that count for something?

00:21:29,776 --> 00:21:31,027

[G ROANS]

00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:33,071

[KNOCKING ON DQOR]

00:21:33,238 --> 00:21:36,658

Oh, great, more party boys for Chandler.

00:21:36,825 --> 00:21:40,579

I'm sure it's somebody for you.

Now go hide.

00:21:44,249 --> 00:21:47,961

Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's

memorial service.

00:21:48,670 --> 00:21:52,340

- Kori? Kori Weston?

- Yeah.

00:21:52,758 --> 00:21:55,510

- You look amazing.

- And you are?

00:21:55,719 --> 00:21:59,264

Chandler. Chandler Bing.

And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.

00:21:59,431 --> 00:22:01,433

You are married, though.

00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,811

Don't listen to him.

He's in a really bad mood.

00:22:08,315 --> 00:22:11,902

I can't believe that Ross is gone.

It is just so sad.

00:22:12,110 --> 00:22:14,154

I didn't know Ross and you

were so close.

00:22:14,362 --> 00:22:18,200

Oh, we weren't. But we had one class

together. He was such a great guy.

00:22:18,366 --> 00:22:21,953

And he talked so passionately

about science.

00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:25,749

- I always remembered him.

- I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.

00:22:25,916 --> 00:22:27,709

And if heaven has a door...

00:22:27,876 --> 00:22:31,671

...I'm sure he's pressing his ear

up against it and listening intently.

00:22:33,507 --> 00:22:37,511

I thought so many times about

calling him and asking him out.

00:22:37,677 --> 00:22:39,554

I guess I really missed my chance.

00:22:39,971 --> 00:22:42,265

No, you didn't!

00:22:44,059 --> 00:22:45,852

I'm still alive!

00:22:47,103 --> 00:22:49,606

Kori, I know this

is a big surprise for you.

00:22:49,815 --> 00:22:53,944

It's a long story. But the things you

just said really made my day.

00:22:54,110 --> 00:22:56,279

The fact that you're here

means more to me...

00:22:56,446 --> 00:22:59,157

...than if this room were filled

with people.

00:22:59,825 --> 00:23:02,327

You sick freak! Who does that?

00:23:02,494 --> 00:23:04,120

I can't believe I had a crush on you.

00:23:09,584 --> 00:23:11,378

Did you hear that?

00:23:11,545 --> 00:23:15,257

Kori Weston had a crush on me!

00:23:22,722 --> 00:23:26,142

No, Mom, I am not dead.

00:23:26,601 --> 00:23:29,855

I know it's not something to kid about.

00:23:30,564 --> 00:23:34,943

It was just a practical joke between

Chandler and me, but it's over, okay?

00:23:35,443 --> 00:23:39,906

Actually, no. Even if I had died,

you would not be left childless.

00:23:41,533 --> 00:23:43,368

Monica?

00:23:49,291 --> 00:23:51,293

[English - US - SDH]