Эпизод после поцелуя Джоуи и Рэйчел

00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:14,263

The way you crushed Mike at Ping-Pong

was such a turn-on. You wanna?

00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,558

You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.

00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,811

- I'll put a pillowcase over my head.

- You're on.

00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,647

- Hey.

- What's up?

00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,901

Well, Mike's taking a shower, which,

by the way, there's no law against.

00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,447

And, um, then we're gonna grab

some food. So if you want...

00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,656

[THUD ON WALL]

00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,450

ROSS: Finally.

- Is that Ross?

00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:37,953

Yeah. You can hear everything

through these stupid walls.

00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,914

- Sounds like he's with someone.

- He could be alone.

00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,543

This morning I heard him do pushups

and then talk to his triceps.

00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,212

Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right.

00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,340

Yeah, I hear someone else in there with him.

00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:53,927

[BOTH MOANING]

00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,262

Oh.

00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,890

- Dr. Geller!

- God, you're amazing.

00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,892

I didn't even have to ask you

to call me that.

00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,852

[CHARLIE CHUCKLES]

00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:06,315

- Oh, my God, that's Charlie!

- She's cheating on Joey with Ross!

00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:10,861

Oh, that tart! Floozy! Giant!

00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,616

- I'm not sure about this.

- Yeah, you're right.

00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,201

This is none of our business.

00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:20,662

I'm not sure it's the best way

to hear everything. Get me a glass!

00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:25,417

No, I'm not gonna do this, okay?

I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.

00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,420

RACHEL:

Ha, ha. I love Barbados.

00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,593

[BOTH SIGH]

00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,512

- I can't believe I'm kissing you.

- Ha, ha.

00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,056

- I'm kissing Rachel!

- Ha, ha.

00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,767

- I know. I'm her. Ha, ha.

- Oh!

00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,102

[BOTH MOAN]

00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,771

Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!

00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,773

- What?

- Get over here!

00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,487

RACHEL: Oh.

- Whoa!

00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,615

Oh, my God! I love how thin these walls are!

00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,876

Thank you.

00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:03,473

Hey, before, you said that nothing could

happen between us. What changed?

00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,351

- Well, I only said that because of Ross.

- Mm.

00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,396

- And then I saw him kissing Charlie.

- What?

00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,565

Ross and Charlie?

00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:15,944

Wow! She's really making her way

through the group, huh?

00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,407

- Ah, who am I to talk? Ha, ha.

- Yeah.

00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,287

I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?

00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:28,540

How about the dinosaur twins

in the other room?

00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:32,461

- No one is manning that wall!

- I'm on it!

00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:37,174

- Anything?

- I think I hear curtains closing.

00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,427

We've got shoes being kicked off

over here.

00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,889

Bedsprings! Unmistakable!

00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:47,684

- You realize that's your brother.

- Not until you said it. Somebody switch!

00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,189

Wow! Wait a minute.

00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,150

Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel.

00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,946

Phoebe and Mike. We're the only ones

leaving with the person we came with!

00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:03,033

That's not true. I came with Monica,

I'm leaving with Weird Al.

00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,245

Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes.

00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:09,414

- Tomorrow I'm going to the salon.

- Okay, Buckwheat.

00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,958

[MONICA GASPS]

00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,712

You gotta hear this, it's great!

It's like free porn.

00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,511

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,971

Um...

00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:28,100

- Is everything okay?

- It's just... I don't think I can do this.

00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,644

Oh, is it because of what might

be on the bed?

00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,189

- I saw that report, with the infrared...

- No! No.

00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,525

No, uh...

00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:41,113

Look, I need to talk to Joey.

I mean, you guys just broke up.

00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:45,158

Before anything more happens between us,

I need to know he's okay with it.

00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,538

- I, uh, completely understand.

- All right, I'm gonna go find him.

00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,627

I just need a second before I can,

you know...

00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,587

[CHUCKLES]

00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,469

Grandma, Grandma, Grandma.

00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,312

- Okay, I'll see you later.

- Okay!

00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,022

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,857

That's the door. He's gone.

00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,027

And she's turning on the TV...

00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:24,990

...and watching Miss Congeniality.

00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:29,661

Honey? If you know it through a wall,

you know it too well.

00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,921

Hey, what are you guys doing?

00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:47,054

Oh, we're just... We're sad to go,

so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel.

00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:48,930

I love you...

00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:54,561

...Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.

00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,858

Yeah. We had a great time, thank you.

00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,030

Bye.

00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,826

Okay. Um, hey, have you guys

seen Joey anywhere?

00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,038

He's probably in his room

with his current girlfriend, Charlie.

00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,874

That's the situation as we know it.

00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,171

If you see him, could you tell him

I'm looking for him?

00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,590

- You got it.

- Thanks.

00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,261

Thank you.

00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,352

Other wall, people! Other wall!

00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,357

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,901

ROSS: Rach, you there?

- Oh, my God, that's Ross!

00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,195

- What are we gonna do?

- Okay, just be calm.

00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,531

For all he knows,

we're just hanging out.

00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,117

All right? So just be nonchalant.

00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,910

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,042

- That's not nonchalant!

- No idea what it means.

00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,293

[RACHEL GROANS]

00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,337

Okay, just hide.

00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,588

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:07,008

ROSS: Rach?

- Coming! Try under the bed.

00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,431

There's no room under the bed...

00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:18,186

ROSS: Is everything okay?

- Yeah.

00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,321

- Hey. Do you know where Joey is?

- Hi.

00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,866

I really don't.

00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,122

- Can I talk to you for a minute?

- Yeah. Sure.

00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,584

I don't believe this.

00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:44,921

- Have you guys been...?

- Shh! This is the listening side of the wall.

00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:53,513

Then she told me

that she and Joey had broken up...

00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,849

...and part of the reason

was she had feelings for me.

00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,809

Uh-huh, right. Yeah.

00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:01,062

You know I've wanted to ask Charlie out

since the day I met her.

00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,774

Oh, I know, I know.

That's been really hard for you.

00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,444

Anyway, one thing led to another, and...

00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,363

...oh, before you know it, we were kissing.

00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,866

How angry do you think Joey's gonna be?

00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,870

That is hard to say, Ross.

That is hard to say.

00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,165

I gotta find him.

He's gotta be here someplace.

00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:21,875

You would think.

00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,423

Joey?

00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:32,093

JOEY: Is he gone?

- How are you doing this?

00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,638

Psst!

00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,348

What? Hey!

00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,935

What are you...? What is this?

Have you been listening this entire time?

00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,937

ALL:

Yeah!

00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,147

Now, what is this?

00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,526

What is this? Well, let's see.

We kissed for 10 minutes...

00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:52,113

...and now we're talking to our friends

about it, so I guess this is sixth grade.

00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,742

No, no. Have you thought about

how complicated this could get?

00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,161

- What about Ross?

- Well, he's with Charlie now.

00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,915

Yeah, but he wants to talk to you

before anything really happens with her.

00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,919

And as his friend, I mean, don't you think

he deserves the same from you?

00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,925

You're a pain in my ass, Geller.

00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,555

Look, we appreciate all the advice...

00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,224

...but this is between Joey and me.

We can handle it.

00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,811

We'll go. Will you do one thing for us,

the people that care about you?

00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,938

- Sure.

- Enunciate.

00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,357

Get out!

00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,028

[JOEY SIGHS]

00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,365

Are they right?

00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:40,412

Probably, yeah. I mean, maybe we should...

00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,455

...hold off until we talk to Ross.

00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,502

Yeah. Yeah. We can wait.

We don't have to do anything tonight.

00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,296

Yeah, I think that would be best.

00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,216

So, I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off.

00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,553

- Although...

- I like "although."

00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,556

- Uh...

- I mean, you know...

00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:03,101

Ross and I haven't dated in, like...

00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,061

...six years.

00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,105

Six years?

00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:11,026

Wow. That's almost as long as high school.

00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:18,783

Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.

00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,493

Absolutely.

00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,246

- He's not thinking about you.

- No.

00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,583

I'm thinking about you.

00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:28,835

Yeah.

00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:34,966

- Let's forget about Ross.

- It's forgotten.

00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,302

[GASPS]

00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,762

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,097

[JOEY'S VOICE]

Seriously, what is it?

00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,019

Nothing. It's really... It's nothing.

Come here. Come here.

00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:47,729

[GASPS]

00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,147

[JOEY'S VOICE]

What's wrong?

00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,776

Ah. Sorry, I just, um...

00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,653

I can't seem to get Ross out of my head.

00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,945

[CHUCKLES]

00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,073

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,408

Well, maybe I can help.

00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,039

[GASPS]

00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:09,417

[RACHEL'S VOICE]

Your lips are so soft. Do that again.

00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:10,835

[JOEY GASPS]

00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:15,256

- Yeah, we need to talk to Ross. Yeah.

- Yeah.

00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,139

- Hey. You guys ready to go?

- Hey.

00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,184

Not quite. Monica's at the salon,

and I'm finishing packing.

00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,729

Dude, you're not taking your Bible?

00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,440

You're not supposed to take that.

00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:35,527

Besides, it's a New Testament.

What are you gonna do with it?

00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,612

Learn about Jesus.

00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,742

- Hey!

- So did you talk to Joey?

00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:47,288

Uh, no. I couldn't find him.

I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.

00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:51,251

Okay. Sounds like a good idea,

Dr. Geller.

00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:53,878

Stop it.

00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,589

Ph.D.

00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,051

You're filthy.

00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,137

Hey. Have you guys seen Monica?

00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,389

Uh, actually, I think she went to the salon.

00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,933

Oh, yeah.

Oh, she went to the salon, all right.

00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,561

Check it out!

00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,356

Whose day just got better?

00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,109

Chandler!

00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,988

Hey! Aah.

00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,450

- What do you think?

- I think...

00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:26,327

- I think I can see your scalp.

- Ha, ha.

00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,413

Don't you just love it?

00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,875

Yeah. Yeah, you got shellfish

in your head.

00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,546

It's, uh, something. You go, girlfriend.

00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,341

- You never said that in your life.

- Not once.

00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:41,634

I thought so.

00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,553

Oh, and listen to this.

00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:47,223

[BEADS CLICKING]

00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:52,020

What do you know?

It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.

00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,200

Ooh.

00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:10,079

Wow, it's, uh, kind of weird that I'm

sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.

00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,083

Yeah. It's almost as if Air Barbados

doesn't care about your social life.

00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,420

Does someone mind switching

and sitting with Charlie?

00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:21,591

Oh, I mean, I... Dude, I spent

the whole conference with Charlie.

00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,259

- I understand.

- No, I'll do it.

00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:28,515

Wish I could switch. I really don't want

to sit with Allen lverson over there.

00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:37,774

Um, once we're in the air

and the captain turns off the seat belt sign...

00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:41,027

...you feel free to roam about my cabin.

00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:46,574

And you should be careful

when checking your overhead bins.

00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:50,119

- Because items may shift during...

- Oh, you're not good at this.

00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,043

- Do you have to go home tonight?

- No, I think I could come over.

00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,587

- It's Saturday, right?

- Oh.

00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,130

What?

00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:04,968

- Um, I can't do anything tonight.

- Why not?

00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,513

- I have a date.

- Wh...?

00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:14,227

- You have a date? With who?

- Oh, it's my girlfriend.

00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:18,189

- You have a girlfriend?

- Yeah.

00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,234

Well, when you and I broke up,

I started seeing someone.

00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,987

- Well, for how long?

- Three months.

00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,822

Three months?

00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,408

Okay.

00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:33,454

This is none of my business, but, um,

how long are you gonna keep seeing her?

00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,833

I'll tell her that it's over

tonight at dinner. I promise.

00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,586

Oh, okay, good. You do that.

00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:45,008

When you get home, maybe there'll be

a special delivery package waiting for you.

00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:49,137

Maybe I'll sign for it, tear it open.

00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:55,184

- Pull out the packing material...

- We'll have sex. Let's leave it there.

00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:05,361

All right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey.

I think this is the right time.

00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,781

He's in a good mood after

the flight attendant says "duty-free."

00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,367

Okay. Good luck.

00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,416

Ross is coming over. I think now

would be a good time to talk to him.

00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,794

Oh, I guess so. I'm just... I'm really nervous.

00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,380

Well, keep in mind

that by the time you're done...

00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,132

...they'll probably be serving dinner.

00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,134

Ooh.

00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,262

Still nervous?

00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,474

I'm gonna get the lasagna.

00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,809

- Hey, Rach, uh...

- Yeah?

00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:40,480

- Do you mind if I sit here for a sec?

- Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,607

[MOUTHS]

Good luck.

00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,819

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,113

- Hey. Ha.

- Hey.

00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,658

So I, um...

00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,369

I kind of need to talk to you about Charlie.

00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:58,539

- Yeah?

- Last night, after you guys broke up...

00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:02,377

- So sorry to hear about that, by the way.

- Hmm, yeah.

00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:07,799

Well, Charlie and I were talking, and...

00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,008

[SIGHS]

00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,635

Well...

00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:13,304

- You kissed.

- Wh...?

00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,889

[LAUGHS]

00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,141

What? Ha, ha.

00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,311

What? Ha, ha.

What would give you that idea?

00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,189

- I saw you.

- Yeah, we kissed.

00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:28,569

But nothing else.

Nothing else happened, okay?

00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,864

- Ross, Ross, Ross. It's okay.

- What?

00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,575

It's okay. You know, look...

00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,870

...I totally understand, all right? You guys...

00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:42,834

...make way more sense than her

and I ever did, you know? And...

00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,212

- I want you to be happy.

- Are you serious?

00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,922

Yeah.

00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,425

[ROSS SIGHS]

00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,928

- Now I have something...

- I am speechless.

00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:59,934

I mean, the fact that you would put

my happiness first like that, I mean...

00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,978

You're an incredible friend,

do you know that?

00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:05,440

- Oh, well, look, before you go...

- No, I mean it.

00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:12,321

I mean, you're so loyal, man.

And selfless and generous.

00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,949

I am those things, yeah.

00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:21,914

I've known Chandler longer, so I think

of him as my best friend. But now...

00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,626

...I may have to rethink some stuff.

00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,336

Dude!

00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:31,841

Hey, if there is ever anything

I can do for you...

00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,887

I can't think of anything. Ha, ha.

00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,683

ROSS: Thanks.

- Yeah.

00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,230

- So hi.

- Hi.

00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:50,735

- So, you, uh, talked to Joey?

- Oh, yeah. We had a really good talk.

00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,403

- Oh, that's great.

- Yeah.

00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,907

- Oh. So everything's okay? Oh.

- Oh, no, it's great.

00:17:56,075 --> 00:18:01,579

- It's great. He's an amazing guy.

- Oh, well, obviously, I think so too.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,874

Well, I'm so excited about this.

00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,212

Really? Ha, ha. Excited?

00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:14,926

What, are you kidding? I have had

some very dirty dreams about this.

00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,306

Excuse me.

00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,523

You didn't tell him, did you?

00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,943

I couldn't. He was saying all these

really nice things about me.

00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,403

I didn't want him to get mad

and take them back.

00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,864

- I'm gonna edge out Chandler!

- Oh, God.

00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:40,451

Fine. Forget it. When we go back

to New York, I will tell him.

00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,453

Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.

00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,704

[RACHEL SIGHS]

00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,833

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,593

[PHONE RINGING]

00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,725

- Hi, Mike's place.

- Hey, it's Mike.

00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:05,977

Ooh, that was fast.

00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,645

Oh, uh, no, she's not here yet.

00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:12,191

You know, I'm just gonna take off

and break up with her over the phone.

00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:15,945

You can't do that. Oh, come on, Mike,

strap on a pair.

00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:22,743

Why don't you tell her that we got back

together. Women appreciate honesty.

00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:28,166

We also appreciate gentle spanking

once in a while, just FYI.

00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:33,963

One more thing. There might be a picture

of Precious on my coffee table.

00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,507

Her name's Precious?

00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,927

Is she a pure breed, or did you

pick her up at the pound? Ha, ha.

00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,389

I just want to give you a heads-up.

00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,974

Okay. And if she gets upset...

00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,268

...just scratch her tummy

and give her a liver snap.

00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,478

[LAUGHS]

00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,399

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,488

Hi. I'm Precious. Who are you?

00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,159

- I'm... I'm Phoebe.

- Phoebe?

00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:07,371

Mike's ex-girlfriend, Phoebe?

The love of his life? That Phoebe?

00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,957

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:16,380

Oh, I can't wait for everyone

at work to see these!

00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,507

Ow!

00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,427

- You go back to work tomorrow night?

- Yeah.

00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,596

So if you want people to see them...

00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,766

...you're not having them taken out,

say, at the break of dawn?

00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:31,020

Well, if I had them taken out,

then I wouldn't be able to do this.

00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,273

Mm.

00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,359

Aah! Aah!

00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,987

You like that, right?

00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,700

[HUMMING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"]

00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,289

- What are you singing?

- It's "Bolero" from 10.

00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,376

It's "Ride of the Valkyries"

from Apocalypse Now.

00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:58,381

Here's the thing. The cornrows were

a solution to your frizzy-hair problem.

00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:02,176

Now that we're home, you don't have

that problem. If you think about it...

00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,178

I hate them.

00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:09,058

- What? You said you liked them.

- Did I? Let's refresh.

00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:12,395

I believe what I said was

that I could see your scalp.

00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,565

Well, fine. So you don't like them.

Everybody else does.

00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,027

Again, let's journey back.

00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:24,991

As I recall, Rachel said she had never

noticed the shape of your skull before.

00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:29,704

And Joey? Well, Joey didn't realize

there was anything different.

00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:34,125

You know what? I don't care.

I like it, and I'm gonna keep it.

00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:37,670

You're just jealous

because your hair can't do this.

00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,172

Ow!

00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,259

- Get yourself in the tooth?

- And the eye.

00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,264

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,476

[ROSS GASPS]

00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:58,482

Hi! There she is! Hi, Emma.

Oh, my God, I missed you.

00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,736

Oh, Emma, I missed you so much. Hi.

00:22:01,903 --> 00:22:04,739

Did you have a good time

with Grandma Green? Huh?

00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:08,993

Did she give you a bottle of

antidepressants again to use as a rattle?

00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:13,873

That was one time, Ross,

and they were only, like, five milligrams.

00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:18,377

Ooh, hey, Emma, Daddy has some

presents for you, okay?

00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,379

I want you to wait right here.

00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:22,298

- Come here, sweetie.

RACHEL: Oh.

00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,843

Ross, um, actually,

there's something that, uh...

00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,762

...I really need to talk to you about.

00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,597

Okay, shoot.

00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:32,683

Okay. Um, all right, here's the deal.

00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,603

Ah! Oh, no!

00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:41,567

- What is it?

- Oh, major shampoo explosion!

00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:47,239

- Uh, look, Ross, this really isn't easy.

- Oh, it's all over everything!

00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,161

Why? Why me?

00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:56,123

Because you took 300 bottles of shampoo?

00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,919

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were saying?

00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:01,379

Well, yeah, uh...

00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:05,508

- Look, it's about me and...

- Oh, not another one!

00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:11,722

Oh, my God... Oh, and this is moisturizer!

It's even harder to clean!

00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:16,977

Why? Why do bad things happen

to good people?

00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:23,484

- Wow. Clearly this is not a good time.

- Uh, you think?

00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,323

Okay. Bye.

00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:32,743

All right, so Mike's on his way over.

00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:36,956

You thought you were meeting here,

he thought at the restaurant, so...

00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:41,419

It doesn't matter who's right or wrong.

The point is, I'm gonna take off.

00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:46,507

Wait. I'm not letting you leave until

you tell me what's going on. I mean...

00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,135

...are you guys getting back together

or something?

00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,221

All right.

00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:54,265

[PHOEBE SIGHS]

00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,059

Susie... Can I call you Susie?

00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,603

My name is Precious.

00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:02,523

I can't say that.

00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:06,944

Um, Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you.

00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:11,365

Mike and I are back together.

And, um, unfortunately...

00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:15,244

...that effectively ends

your relationship with him.

00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:22,084

He's very sorry about that, and wishes you

the best of luck in all your endeavors.

00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:26,755

I just can't believe this. Why?

00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:29,008

- Well, I don't...

- Why would he do this?

00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,927

- What's wrong with me?

- There's nothing wrong with you.

00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,180

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:37,600

Damn it, woman! Pull yourself together!

00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,853

Have some pride, for the love of God!

00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:45,065

[PRECIOUS SOBBING]

00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:48,360

Okay, not a fan of the tough love.

00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:52,406

I just can't believe that Mike

didn't give me any warning.

00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:57,620

He didn't know. He wasn't planning on

coming to Barbados and proposing to me.

00:24:57,954 --> 00:25:02,458

He proposed to you?

This is the worst birthday ever!

00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:10,257

Look, Precious...

00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:16,305

Mike's not worth this.

You're an attractive, intelligent woman...

00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,974

...and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang.

00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,187

He proposed to me

while he was still seeing you.

00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:26,106

He was gonna break up with you

on your birthday?

00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:31,070

I don't like to kiss and tell,

but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.

00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:34,532

Oh, my God, you know, maybe you're right.

Maybe I don't need him.

00:25:34,699 --> 00:25:37,701

I deserve to be treated with respect.

00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:43,999

Screw you, Mike. You're a coward

and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell!

00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,340

You're welcome.

00:25:56,471 --> 00:26:00,516

Honey? You've been in there

for a long time. Is everything okay?

00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:02,601

MONICA:

Not really.

00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:06,897

I have a problem.

00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,609

Really? What happened?

00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:16,323

Well, I was dancing around

and singing "No Woman, No Cry"...

00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:20,452

...and, um, I got stuck.

00:26:21,037 --> 00:26:24,456

- You can't move at all?

- Oh, I can move. Ha, ha.

00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:33,507

If I untangle you, will you please

get rid of the cornrows?

00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:35,676

I guess so.

00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:41,974

- Some of these look a little frayed.

- Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.

00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:47,396

- Hey.

- Hi.

00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:51,108

- So? Did you, uh, tell Ross?

- Well, I tried...

00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,819

...but then he had

a shampoo-related emergency.

00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,029

[SIGHS]

00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:57,698

- So I guess now it's your turn again.

- No, no, no, no.

00:26:57,866 --> 00:27:01,368

I think it's better if you tell him.

You know, it's easier for a woman.

00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:04,622

That way, you know, if he gets mad,

all you have to do is go:

00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:06,498

"I didn't mean it.

00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:07,958

[SOBS]

00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:11,545

I'm so sorry."

00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,133

Yeah, because that's what we do.

00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:20,220

All right, all right, okay. Um, how about this?

How about this? Tomorrow...

00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:21,805

Mm-hm?

00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:25,476

Tomorrow we'll both go

and we'll tell him together.

00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:27,353

Okay, that sounds fair.

00:27:27,562 --> 00:27:30,314

- That just means, once again, we can't...

- I know.

00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:34,360

That's okay. I mean, we can

control ourselves. We're not animals.

00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:38,572

- No! Pfft. Of course, we can wait.

- Yeah.

00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:41,575

All right, so I guess

that means good night then.

00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,078

Yep. Good night.

00:27:44,245 --> 00:27:45,704

Oh.

00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:56,215

Good night.

00:28:02,722 --> 00:28:04,473

- Good night.

- Stop saying good night.

00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:05,683

Okay.

00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:08,185

[RACHEL MOANS]

00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:29,289

I'm so sorry.

00:28:36,172 --> 00:28:38,298

Look what I found in the drawer.

00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:43,429

And you said I'd never wear this.

00:28:44,347 --> 00:28:47,933

Now that I untangled you,

how about you do a little something for me?

00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,937

- Sure. What did you have in mind?

- I think you know.

00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:57,276

- Really? I don't... I don't really feel like it.

- This is what I want to do.

00:28:58,278 --> 00:28:59,820

Okay.

00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:02,281

I just don't get why you like it so much.

00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:07,745

She's an FBI agent posing

as a beauty contestant!

00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,587

[English - US - SDH]