Эпизод с грантом Росса

00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,425

Pheebs, what's wrong?

00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:13,137

Ah, I'm just so exhausted from dragging

around this huge engagement ring.

00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,847

Oh, my God.

00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,056

- Congratulations.

- Wow.

00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,143

So did he get on one knee?

Did he have a speech prepared?

00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,186

Oh, did he cry?

00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:26,483

Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals.

00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:31,530

Well, it was really sweet,

and, like, the most romantic thing ever.

00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,992

Here's to Phoebe, who's found

the greatest guy in the world.

00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,285

To Phoebe and...

00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,953

I want to say "Mike"?

00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,707

- To Phoebe and Mike.

RACHEL: Hey.

00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:42,916

- Thank you.

RACHEL: Oh.

00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,710

- Oh, and I have something for you.

- Hmm.

00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,380

It's my little black book. It's got

the numbers of all the guys I've dated.

00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:52,509

Oh, ha, ha. Phoebe, that's nice,

but you know what? I think I'm okay.

00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,262

Give it to one

of your other single girlfriends.

00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,639

I would, but you're the last one.

00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,351

Give me the book!

00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,396

"Pablo Diaz.

00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,982

Brady Smith." Ha.

00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,026

"Guy in Van"?

00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,028

Oh, my first love.

00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,404

Ah.

00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,741

What does the red X next

to Bob Gremore's name mean?

00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,785

Dead.

00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:22,539

Oh, it's okay. No, he was old. Yeah.

00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:26,543

And he lived a full life. He was

in the first wave at Omaha Beach.

00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,798

I should've given you guys

my black book when I got married.

00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,258

Although, it wasn't so much

a book as a napkin.

00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,887

With Janice's phone number on it.

00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,724

Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?

00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,522

Oh, yes, they are.

00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,523

Hey, honey.

00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,859

Hey, sweetie.

00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,069

- Is Monica not here?

- No.

00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,279

Oh, then I'll tell you.

00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,990

My agency was bidding

for a big account, and they got it.

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,659

- It's my first national commercial.

- Cool.

00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,871

And I don't want to brag,

but a lot of the ideas were mine.

00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:47,374

Hell, you weren't there.

All the ideas were mine.

00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,752

That's great.

Hey, can you cast me in it?

00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,006

Oh, I really don't think

you're right for the part.

00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,467

What do you mean?

I can do anything. I'm a chameleon, huh?

00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,180

[IN OLD MAN'S VOICE]

I'm old.

00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,641

[YAWNING]

Huh, I'm tired, huh?

00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:09,563

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, I am hot. I'm

cold, huh? Come on, what can't I do?

00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,983

First of all, bravo.

00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,777

Uh, but I don't think

you're right for this.

00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,863

The part's a stuffy college professor.

00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,281

I can do that.

00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,992

Hello, I'm your professor.

00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,747

When I'm not busy thinking

of important things, or professing...

00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,083

...I like to use...

Oh, what's the product?

00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,879

Software that facilitates

inter-business networking e-solutions.

00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,219

I'm cold.

00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:44,973

- Hey.

- Hey.

00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,643

Guess who's a finalist

for a huge research grant?

00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,520

I'll give you a hint.

He's looking right at you.

00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:54,399

Huh, well, unless it's the creepy guy

with his hand up his kilt...

00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,068

...I'm gonna say, "Congratulations."

00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,278

Ha, ha. Uh, I'm so excited.

00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,782

Apparently, I beat out

hundreds of other applicants...

00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,534

...including five guys

I went to graduate school with.

00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,746

Not that I'm keeping score,

or anything. Five.

00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,040

- Wow, that's great.

- Yeah.

00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,752

- So tell me about the grant.

- Well, okay, it's for $25,000.

00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,089

And if I get it, I'll finally be able

to complete my field research.

00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:21,093

And there will be an article about me

in the Paleontology Review.

00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,428

It'll be the first time

my name is in there...

00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,598

...without people raising

serious questions about my work.

00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,852

- Are you talking about the Dewer Grant?

- Yeah. Why?

00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,188

Benjamin Hobart

is administering that grant.

00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,399

- Your ex-boyfriend?

- Yeah.

00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:39,987

So your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine

if your new boyfriend gets this grant?

00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,781

Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed.

00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,575

No. No, we ended on great terms.

00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,578

If anything, I think this could

help you. You know what?

00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:51,832

Why don't we all go out to dinner,

and I can introduce you.

00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,793

- If you think it'd help.

- Yeah, absolutely. I'll call him.

00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,629

Now, is there anything I could

do to butter him up?

00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,674

- Anything he really likes?

- Hmm.

00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,010

He does have

a pretty serious latex fetish.

00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,262

We'll see how dinner goes.

00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,099

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,352

- Hey.

- Hey, you want to go see a movie?

00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,148

I told you I had to spend all day

clearing out stuff so Mike could move in.

00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,066

- Oh, right.

- Yeah.

00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:22,571

Now that I'm here, I might as well help

with the cleaning and organizing.

00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,781

I just happen to have my label maker.

00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,450

[CHUCKLES]

00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,994

Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff.

00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:32,497

Did you and Chandler make compromises

when you moved in together?

00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,291

Huh, Chandler did.

00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,794

- What does he want you to give up?

- A bunch of stuff.

00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,463

And the worst one...

00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,131

He wants me to get rid of Gladys.

00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,425

Who's Gladys?

00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,510

[GASPS]

00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,431

- Oh, what a tragic loss.

- Mm-hm.

00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:54,436

Yeah, I really hate to give her up.

Oh, I know. Oh, you should take her.

00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,400

Oh, I... I don't know.

00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:06,156

- Oh, what, you don't like her?

- Heh, of course I do. What's not to like?

00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,201

I'd take her in a minute.

00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,536

But I think that you're

giving up too easy.

00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,331

I think that you need

to fight for her.

00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,334

- Really, you think?

- Absolutely.

00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,462

You say to him, "I'm sorry, Mike,

I can't live without her.

00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,839

She means too much to me."

00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,635

Okay, I'll fight for her. Okay.

00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:30,305

Oh, wait. Oh, I just realized, if I do that,

that means you don't get her.

00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,391

Damn it, I did not think this through.

00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,188

- Hey, guys.

- Hi.

00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,148

Oh, any word on casting yet?

00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,485

- I told you, you're not right for the part.

JOEY: What do you mean?

00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:47,781

Rach, don't I seem like a professor

you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?

00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:52,452

I'm sorry, this sounds like something

I'm never gonna be interested in.

00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:57,541

Look, come on, please? It's not like

I'm asking you for some crazy favor.

00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,585

This is what I do for a living.

I am a professional actor.

00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,712

Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work.

00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,843

Here's my reel. It's got all

the commercials that I've been in.

00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,678

- Joe...

- Uh, just watch it.

00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,639

If you don't like it,

don't pass it on to your bosses.

00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,434

- Fine.

- Thank you.

00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,441

- Work, Joe.

- Damn it.

00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,196

- What am I gonna do now?

- Just pass the tape along.

00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,198

He's not right for the part.

00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,868

If I suggest him,

my bosses will think I'm an idiot.

00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,662

And that's something

they should learn on their own.

00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,873

Oh, just tell Joey

that you watched the tape...

00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,125

...and you liked it,

but your bosses didn't.

00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,794

Then you're the good guy,

and they're the bad guy.

00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,964

That's good. I liked it, they didn't.

00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,385

Joey, for God's sake, go to work.

00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,804

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,643

I can't believe I'm about

to meet Benjamin Hobart.

00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,271

Um, I've always thought of him

as someone I'd invite...

00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,899

...to my fantasy dinner party, ha, ha.

00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:08,487

Do you think there's any chance

he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C-3PO?

00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,782

Sorry, it looks like it's just him.

00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,493

[SIGHS]

00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,495

Charlie.

00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:22,167

- My God, you look absolutely stunning.

- Oh.

00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,420

Well, I am having a good hair day.

00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,798

- It's so good to see you.

CHARLIE: Oh, you too.

00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,008

BENJl:

Mm.

00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:33,428

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,013

Ahem, I'm okay.

00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,767

Um, I'm sorry. Um, Ross Geller,

Benjamin Hobart.

00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,437

Oh, it's an honor to meet you.

I can't tell you how long...

00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:47,067

...I've been an admirer of your work.

I mean, that Nobel Prize, uh, whoo!

00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,860

- Ha, ha.

- Oh.

00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,448

I mean, I have to tell you that you're

one of the reasons I got into the field.

00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,492

Oh, well, uh, likewise.

00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,663

Uh, not likewise. I'd never heard of you

until this morning.

00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,414

But it's nice to be nice.

00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,962

- Uh, shall we?

- Yeah, ahem. Thank you. Ahem.

00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,218

I can't believe that you chose

this restaurant.

00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,430

- Do you remember the night?

- Oh, my God. I completely forgot.

00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,224

BENJl: Ha-ha-ha.

- Oh, my God.

00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,018

I can't believe

they let us back in this place.

00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:26,273

[ALL LAUGHING]

00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,779

- You weren't there.

- Ha, ha.

00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,116

No, but, you know,

it's just a funny image.

00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:41,746

You know, the two of you

in this restaurant with the hmm...

00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:47,419

Why don't you tell Benji about your

proposal while I go to the ladies' room.

00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,048

So tell me about it.

00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:56,011

Okay. Well, I would like to do a dig

in the Painted Desert.

00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,387

Mm-hm.

00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,181

There are still several areas

that haven't been fully excavated.

00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,516

- Break up with Charlie.

- What?

00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,059

What?

00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:08,273

Did you just say,

"Break up with Charlie"?

00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,863

Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it.

And no, I didn't not say it.

00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,449

Um, kind of inappropriate,

don't you think?

00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,701

Listen, I'm sorry.

00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:23,496

I just haven't seen her for so long,

all these feelings are rushing back.

00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,999

I'm starting to realize

how much I've missed her.

00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,543

And I'm gonna need you

to break up with her.

00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,298

- Are you serious?

- If you say, yes, then I'm serious.

00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,842

If you say, no, then I'm joking.

00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,054

- No.

- Joking it is.

00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,061

- Hi, sorry I'm late.

- Hey, how'd it go with Mike?

00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:50,231

- Is he gonna let you keep the painting?

- Huh, no, he really hates it, ugh.

00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,234

But he's gonna let me keep

my box of human hair.

00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:59,866

So you gotta pick your battles.

But the good news is, Gladys is yours.

00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,162

Wow, what's the bad news?

00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,791

- Who's Gladys?

- Oh, she's that work of art I made.

00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,710

You know, with the woman

coming out of the frame.

00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:15,423

Ah, and Monica gets to keep her?

00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,677

In her house? I am so jealous.

00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,391

- Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too.

- Oh.

00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:28,269

Well, I mean, sure, of course.

00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,939

But you already gave that

to Monica, so...

00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,901

- You know, I would give her up for you.

- No, I couldn't let you do that.

00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,404

- No, but I want to.

- But I don't want you to.

00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:41,491

- But I insist.

- But I insist harder.

00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,620

Girls. Girls. Stop.

Okay, we'll flip a coin.

00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,248

Heads, she's Rachel's.

Tails, she's Monica's.

00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,209

[MONICA GASPS]

00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,460

- Tails.

RACHEL: Oh.

00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,213

- Monica, she's yours.

- No, that landed in your food.

00:11:56,340 --> 00:12:00,385

No, no, that's okay.

You won fair and square. I'm so sad.

00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:05,557

- Hey, Joe?

- What's up?

00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,852

Bad news. I watched the tape

and passed it along to my bosses...

00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,730

...and they weren't interested.

- Oh.

00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,732

I'm sorry, man.

00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,321

- But, uh, you watched the tape?

- Yeah, I... I liked it.

00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:27,287

But, uh, my bosses didn't go for it.

Stupid sons of bitches.

00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:36,212

- You didn't watch the tape.

- What? Of course I did.

00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:39,215

Look, it's one thing not to cast me,

but to lie to me?

00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,510

- I'm not lying to you. I watched it.

- Ah, you lied again.

00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:45,805

- I watched it.

- Keep going, Pinocchio.

00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,892

- I did.

- No, you didn't!

00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,144

I'm telling you, I watched the tape.

00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,857

- Did you watch the tape?

- No.

00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,781

The selection committee has chosen

the three of you as our finalists.

00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,618

The decision will be based on the

answers you give to the questions I ask.

00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,914

We'll start with Dr. Li.

You claim the field is too reliant...

00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:14,959

...on the Linnaean taxonomic system.

How do you propose to correct this?

00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,296

I believe that the answers lie

in the osteological evidence.

00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,298

- I plan to begin there.

- Interesting.

00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,759

I guess.

00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:27,305

Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some

fieldwork. Where might that take place?

00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,183

Primarily in the Pierre Shale region

of South Dakota.

00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:34,813

Certainly. Very well.

And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?

00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,029

What? I... Uh.

00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,200

Care to venture a guess?

00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:53,748

- May 12?

- That's not even kind of close.

00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,126

Dr. Li, how many graduate students

will you need?

00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,295

- Half a dozen.

- I see. And Dr. Biely?

00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,798

Three for excavation,

and two for analysis.

00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,802

Certainly. Dr. Geller,

which 1965 Shirelles hit...

00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,180

...was later covered by

a popular British Invasion band?

00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,809

[MOUTHS]

What?

00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,478

What? I need six graduate students.

00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:19,399

No, I'm sorry.

We were looking for "Baby It's You."

00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:20,984

"Baby It's You."

00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,904

What? Wait just a minute.

00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:28,283

None of my questions have anything

to do with paleontology.

00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,952

You're right, I apologize.

Scratch the last question.

00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,329

Spell "Boscodictiasaur."

00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:38,918

Um, I've never heard

of a "Boscodictiasaur."

00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,129

Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.

00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,760

- Okay. B-O...

- No, it starts with a silent M.

00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,096

Oh, come on!

00:14:56,812 --> 00:15:00,481

I can't believe Joey.

I hate being called a liar.

00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,066

But you are a liar.

00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,361

What did I just say?

00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,072

- Are you still here?

CHANDLER: Yes.

00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:12,702

And I'm not just hurt, I'm insulted.

When I tell somebody I did something...

00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:17,040

Okay, hold on, let me just stop you

right there, okay? First, you lied. Right?

00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,792

Then you lied about lying, okay?

00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,879

Then you lied about lying

about lying, okay?

00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:28,593

So before you lie about lying

about lying about lying about lying...

00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,347

Stop lying.

00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,141

Why are you so sure

I didn't watch this tape?

00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,518

You wanna know why?

You wanna know why?

00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,854

Well, this is going well.

00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,982

Here's how I know.

00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:48,029

If you had seen what was on this tape,

believe me, you'd have some comments.

00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,990

All right, remember,

I got paid a lot of money for this...

00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,576

...and it only aired in Japan.

00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,244

Ichiban.

00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,121

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:15,264

Ichiban, lipstick for men.

00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:16,933

[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]

00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,396

And that's how I know

you didn't watch the tape.

00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,815

[DOOR SLAMS]

00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,859

He really is a chameleon.

00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:37,996

Well, Gladys, say hello

to your new home.

00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,918

- Oh, my.

- Wow.

00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,880

Oh, she is so nice and big.

00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:55,263

Oh, Monica, where are you going

to display Gladys, oh, so proudly?

00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,725

I haven't really settled

on a spot yet.

00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,560

How about right above the TV?

00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:05,231

That way, it will be the first thing

that you see when you walk in the door.

00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,944

Yeah, yeah, and you can get rid

of that French poster.

00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,030

- I like that poster.

PHOEBE: Really?

00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,615

It doesn't have anything

coming out of it.

00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,161

Or maybe there's someplace

for her in your bedroom?

00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,039

- Oh, there's nothing above your bed.

- Are you still here?

00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,503

Oh, hi. Hello.

00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,424

Uh, have you come to ask me some

more paleontology-related questions?

00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,218

Um, your grandmother's nickname,

perhaps?

00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,137

Ann-Margret's pant size?

00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:43,019

I've come here to apologize.

I think I may have let my feelings...

00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,064

...for Charlie interfere

with the interview process.

00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,357

No. Stop!

00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,986

Anyway, I decided

to offer you the grant.

00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:58,159

- Really?

- There is just, uh, one small stipulation.

00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,454

- I have to break up with Charlie?

- Hey, you got one right.

00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:08,419

- You're crazy.

- Crazy or romantic?

00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,254

Crazy.

00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,467

- Or?

- Get out!

00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:22,475

Oh, my God!

00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,519

[RACHEL GASPS]

00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:28,940

- What?

- Joey, what is this thing doing here?

00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:33,945

I got her from Monica. She sold it

to me for a very reasonable price.

00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,740

- Joey, we're not keeping this.

- But it's an original Buffay.

00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,663

All right, fine. You can keep it.

00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,207

As long as you don't mind

that she's haunted.

00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,875

Hey, what? Whoa. What?

00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:52,839

Well, legend has it, Joey, that she

comes alive when you're asleep.

00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:58,136

She climbs out of the frame...

00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:02,557

...and then drags her half-a-body

across the floor...

00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,559

...just looking for legs to steal.

00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:05,893

[GASPS]

00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,354

And then with her one good hand...

00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:12,525

...she slowly reaches up...

00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,944

...and turns your doorknob.

00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,739

Get that legless witch out of here!

00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,331

- Hey, I sold that to Joey.

- Yeah, well, I told him it's haunted.

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,501

- Two can play at this game.

- Too late. You can't give it back.

00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,920

- Oh, yes, I can.

- No, you can't, she's yours.

00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,338

- She's yours.

- She's yours.

00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,008

- She's yours.

- Hey.

00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:42,138

- She's mine.

- She's mine.

00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,433

You guys, you don't have

to fight over her anymore.

00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:49,312

Whoever doesn't get Gladys,

gets Glynnis.

00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,988

- I want Gladys.

- She's mine.

00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,323

- She's mine.

- She's mine.

00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,325

[MONICA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,955

Look, I'm sorry

I didn't give them your tape.

00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:12,168

And I promise next time to submit you,

whether I think you're right or not.

00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,296

That's not the point, Chandler.

The point is that you lied.

00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,298

I know. You're right.

00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,051

Oh, what's it

gonna take for you to forgive me?

00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,344

Oh, my God.

00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,642

Oh, excellent.

00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,020

Now what do you say?

00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,397

Lying is wrong.

00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,025

And? And?

00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,570

I'm a pretty little girl.

00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,699

I knew it. Ha, ha.

00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,751

Your ex-boyfriend is insane.

00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,797

- Did you get the grant?

- No. And you wanna know why?

00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:01,342

Because your ex-boyfriend

is still in love with you.

00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,551

What?

00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,096

He refused me

because I wouldn't give you up.

00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,474

Benji isn't in love with me.

I mean, he broke up with me.

00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:12,895

- And besides, he's a very ethical man.

- Really?

00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,482

Is it ethical to ask someone

in a grant review:

00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,526

"Who was the voice of Underdog?"

00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,861

I'm sure he was just joking.

00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,364

If you don't believe me,

let's go talk to him.

00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,575

I'm telling you, he didn't ask me

one paleontological question.

00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:29,829

- Seriously?

- Oh, I'm sorry. No, he did ask me one:

00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,164

Uh,

"How do you spell Boscodictiasaur?"

00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:35,876

Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco

in Congo, then M-B-O...

00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,211

Damn it.

00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:44,093

Dr. Geller. Charlie, what are

you doing here?

00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,137

I want you to tell her everything.

00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:50,016

About the deal you tried to make

with me, about the crazy questions you...

00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:55,479

Wally Cox.

That's the voice of Underdog.

00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,357

Like I tried to tell you

in the interview...

00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:02,611

...this grant is not based on your

knowledge of pretty useless trivia.

00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:07,658

No, don't do that. I want you to look

her in the eyes and tell her the truth.

00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:09,952

Benji?

00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:15,916

It's true. I behaved horribly,

but it's only because I still love you.

00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:19,086

And I would do anything

to have you back in my life.

00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,881

Too little, too late, Benji.

00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:27,136

- I can't believe this.

- I never should've broken up with you.

00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:32,350

I think about you all the time.

Do you ever still think about me?

00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,143

No.

00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:37,188

- Yes.

- What?

00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:41,901

I don't know what to say, Benji.

This is all so...

00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,278

...romantic.

00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,822

Or?

00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:51,202

I know I may be

way out of bounds here...

00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,830

...but is there any chance

you would take me back?

00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,293

Maybe.

00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:03,589

Sweetie, this conversation is starting

to make me a little uncomfortable.

00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:09,053

Oh, God. I am so sorry, but...

00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:14,016

I mean, there's so much history

between us, you know?

00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,602

I'm sorry too.

00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:28,322

- I love you.

- Oh, I love you too.

00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:33,411

Okay, that's it,

we are seeing other people.

00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:46,590

[SCRATCHING ON DOOR]

00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:54,765

Gladys?

00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:57,893

[SCREAMS]

00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,647

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:05,568

For the third time this week.

Man, this does not get old.

00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,777

[RACHEL LAUGHS]

00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:10,906

- You're mean!

- Oh, don't be such a baby. Please.

00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:13,492

[SCREAMS]

00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,621

[DOOR CLOSES]

00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,039

[LAUGHING]

00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,712

[English - US - SDH]