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Моника и Чендлер беспокоятся о собеседнице из агентства по усыновлению, когда узнают, что Джои переспал с ней и так и не перезвонил. Они продолжают уверять её, что не дружат с Джои. Джои забирается по пожарной лестнице, чтобы проверить Чендлера и Монику, когда те отказываются открыть дверь. Джои притворяется, что ему очень жаль, что собеседница ему не перезвонила, и успешно убеждает её в этом. Фиби и Майк не решаются потратить такую ​​большую сумму на свадьбу и соглашаются пожениться в мэрии, а деньги пожертвовать на благотворительность. Они передумывают и забирают деньги обратно, но потом их мучает чувство вины. В конце концов, благотворительная организация отклоняет их пожертвование и говорит им, чтобы у них была хорошая свадьба. Росс пытается помочь Рейчел преодолеть страх перед качелями, а она помогает ему преодолеть страх перед пауками.

Эпизод с осмотром квартиры

The One with the Home Study
Сезон: 10Серия: 07

Описание

Моника и Чендлер беспокоятся о собеседнице из агентства по усыновлению, когда узнают, что Джои переспал с ней и так и не перезвонил. Они продолжают уверять её, что не дружат с Джои. Джои забирается по пожарной лестнице, чтобы проверить Чендлера и Монику, когда те отказываются открыть дверь. Джои притворяется, что ему очень жаль, что собеседница ему не перезвонила, и успешно убеждает её в этом. Фиби и Майк не решаются потратить такую ​​большую сумму на свадьбу и соглашаются пожениться в мэрии, а деньги пожертвовать на благотворительность. Они передумывают и забирают деньги обратно, но потом их мучает чувство вины. В конце концов, благотворительная организация отклоняет их пожертвование и говорит им, чтобы у них была хорошая свадьба. Росс пытается помочь Рейчел преодолеть страх перед качелями, а она помогает ему преодолеть страх перед пауками.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,673

PHOEBE: Hey.

- What are you doing?

00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,968

- Figuring out our wedding plans.

- We were doing the same thing.

00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,636

Yeah.

00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:17,307

It's really crazy.

The hall, the dress, the food.

00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:20,894

- I had no idea how expensive this stuff was.

- Yeah, it is really pricey.

00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:24,606

- I freaked when I heard the numbers.

- So, what did you two do about it?

00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,693

It was simple. I came up with

some cost-cutting solutions...

00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,863

...wrote out a list

and Monica told me to go to hell.

00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,657

There's no way around it.

00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,577

Just accept that this is

gonna cost a lot of money.

00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,205

I heard that weddings are, like,

a $40 billion-a-year industry.

00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:43,375

Yeah. And I'm responsible

for just, like, half of that.

00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:48,422

But really, it does seem like this money

could be put to better use.

00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,673

Are you serious?

00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:53,177

Yeah. Now, how would you feel if we gave

all the wedding money to charity...

00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,721

...and we just got married at City Hall?

00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,183

I think it would make me

wanna marry you even more.

00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,229

Well, I gotta say, you guys,

that's an incredible gesture.

00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,398

Maybe you do that

next time you get married.

00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,613

No, no, no. The next time's

gonna be Hawaii at sunset.

00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,740

But maybe the time after that.

00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,157

- Hey.

BOTH: Hey.

00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,408

What's going on?

00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:02,204

Our adoption social worker is coming by,

so we're cleaning the apartment.

00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,081

"We"?

00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,669

You know you don't want me to help.

You can't have it both ways.

00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,923

Hey, is this the person who decides

whether or not you get a baby?

00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,468

- Kind of. She's coming to see where we live.

- And it has to go perfectly.

00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:21,014

If she doesn't like us, she can keep

us off every adoption list in the state.

00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,393

Hey, maybe I should stop by.

She could be a soap-opera fan.

00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:28,021

It's very impressive when

the little people know a celebrity.

00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,357

"Little people"?

00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,317

"Celebrity."

00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,487

So I think I'm just about done here.

00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:40,367

Unless you have any bad stuff hidden

somewhere, like porn or cigarettes?

00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,244

What?

00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,123

- No.

- Chandler.

00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,546

I don't, and I'm offended

by the insinuation.

00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,340

So there's not a magazine

under the couch...

00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,510

...or a pack of cigarettes

taped to the back of the toilet tank...

00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,221

...or a filthy video in the VCR?

00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,099

I'll admit to the cigarettes

and the magazine.

00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,851

But that tape is not mine.

00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:10,105

- It isn't mine.

- I guess we'll never know whose it is.

00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,198

- May I help you?

- Yes.

00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,618

We're here to make a rather

sizable donation to the children.

00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,412

Well, any contribution,

large or small, is appreciated.

00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,707

Well, I think you're gonna appreciate

the crap out of this one.

00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,336

- Well, this is very generous.

- And we don't want any recognition.

00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,171

This is completely anonymous.

00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,924

Completely anonymous.

From two kind strangers.

00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:40,135

Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.

00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,180

We can put your names

in our newsletter.

00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,266

- Not necessary.

- Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.

00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,521

And X is spelled, uh, "Mike Hannigan."

00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,359

All right, well, on behalf of the children,

thank you both very much.

00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:59,863

- Sure. I'm glad we did this. It feels so good.

- It does. It feels really good.

00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,616

Oh, look.

And we get these free T-shirts.

00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:06,036

Actually, that's the shirt

I wore to the gym.

00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,996

It's moist.

00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,835

RACHEL: Emma will be up in a minute.

ROSS: Oh, good.

00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:18,423

Oh, hey, Ross, listen. I heard about

you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.

00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,803

Aw, that's okay. I'm sure there are tons of

other beautiful paleontologists out there.

00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,764

- Absolutely.

- There was one. She's it.

00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,142

All the rest look like

they should live under a bridge.

00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,272

So, uh, what are you gonna do today?

00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,899

Well, I was thinking of taking Emma

to the playground.

00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,610

Oh, my God. What?

00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:44,783

Like I said, I was thinking of taking

Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire.

00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:53,041

Okay, look, Ross. I do not want

Emma going to the playground.

00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,462

Because?

00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,383

All right, if you must know,

I had a traumatic...

00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:05,178

...swing incident when I was little.

00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,015

- Seriously?

- Yes. I was 4 years old.

00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,017

And I was on the swing...

00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:14,021

...and then all of a sudden my hair

got tangled in the chain.

00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:20,777

And to get me out, my mom had

to cut a big chunk of my hair.

00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,114

And it was uneven for weeks.

00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,498

And you made it through that?

00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,003

I wonder who's gonna play you

in the movie.

00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:43,175

Okay, fine, you can make fun of me.

I do not want Emma going there.

00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,969

And I was thinking Claire Danes.

00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,431

Look, I'm sorry to hear

about your tragedy.

00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:53,393

Okay? But the swings are perfectly safe.

And besides, Emma loves them.

00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:58,565

- You should come, and you'll see.

- Those things go, like, 40 miles an hour.

00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,068

And there's that moment

when you're at the top...

00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:05,072

...when you just don't know

if you're gonna return back to Earth.

00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:09,618

Space is filled with orbiting children.

00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,790

Look, please, just come on.

00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:18,627

When you see the look on Emma's face,

I swear, you won't regret it.

00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,756

- All right.

- Good.

00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,383

You don't wanna be a mothers...

00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,761

...who pass on their irrational fears

to their children, do you?

00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,388

"Irrational," huh?

00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:33,308

I'll remember that next time you freak

out about a spider in your apartment.

00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,559

Oh, yeah, that's the same.

00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,771

I'm sure there are 30 different species

of poisonous swings.

00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,775

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,152

Oh, my God. The adoption lady is early.

00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,071

Okay. Okay. Here we go.

00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,656

MONICA: Okay.

- Here we go.

00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,074

Stand up straight.

00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,076

Big smile.

00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,498

Hello. Is this the Creepy residence?

00:06:56,666 --> 00:07:00,085

We're waiting for the adoption lady.

But, hey, I'm glad you're here.

00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,796

I was cleaning this morning

and I found this.

00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,007

I don't know if you wanna use it, but...

00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:09,261

Oh, this is so sweet of you.

00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,223

Oh, but I won't be needing a veil.

I actually won't be wearing a dress at all.

00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,351

I told you, I am not coming

to a naked wedding.

00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,812

No, no, no.

We're not having a big reception.

00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,856

We took the wedding money

we were gonna spend...

00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,899

...and donated it to a children's charity.

00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,693

That's crazy!

00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,991

I'm sorry. I can't imagine giving up

my one wedding day like that.

00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,494

Yeah, well, we're different.

I don't care about having a huge party.

00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,955

This is really nice for you, but...

00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,709

Oh, please. I put this on

and, ugh, I just look like...

00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,752

Well, radiant.

00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:49,009

All right, but who cares? You know,

I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.

00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,178

That's right.

You're making a commitment.

00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:54,848

And, you know, that's the same

whether you do it at the Plaza or...

00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,933

- Where you gonna do it?

- City Hall.

00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,602

Oh!

00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,730

Oh, that sounds nice.

00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:06,151

I was just there for jury duty.

They've really spruced that place up.

00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,947

Okay. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

I've made my decision.

00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,867

What I really want

is a great big wedding.

00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,952

Yay!

00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:20,665

- But you gave all the money to charity.

- Well, I'll just ask for it back.

00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,294

- I don't think you can do that.

MONICA: Why not?

00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,757

This is her wedding day. That's way

more important than some stupid kids.

00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,428

That's sweet, honey,

but save something for the adoption lady.

00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,854

RACHEL: All right, okay. Be careful.

ROSS: Okay.

00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:46,399

Careful. Watch her hair. Watch her hair!

00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,237

- Rach, she's got, like, three hairs.

- I know. I know.

00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:55,617

But they're just so beautiful.

Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.

00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,329

I promise you she's safe, okay?

Watch how much she loves this.

00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:03,166

- Okay. Okay.

- Are you ready, sweetie? Here we go.

00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:09,005

RACHEL:

Okay, careful. Okay. Oh.

00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,343

She's smiling.

00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,929

Look at that, she does like it.

00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,516

- See, I told you.

- Oh. Ah!

00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,393

[GIGGLING]

00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,731

Oh, my God. Look at her,

she's a little daredevil.

00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,985

- Oh, God. Let me push. Can I push?

- Oh, absolutely.

00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:34,823

Okay. Oh, God. Okay, get the camera.

It's in the diaper bag.

00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,408

Okay.

00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:41,788

See? Scared of the swings.

I bet you feel pretty silly. Aah!

00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,836

We're seriously asking

for the money back?

00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,546

It's for our wedding day.

00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,883

All right, now, is this guy gay or straight?

Because one of us has to start flirting.

00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,387

Wow. You here to make another

donation the same day?

00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,639

I don't think that's ever happened before.

00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,516

Gay. Go.

00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,314

Oh, my God, I love your shirt.

00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:13,361

The donation we made earlier?

Um, well, we want it back.

00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,697

Excuse me?

00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,367

See, okay, that money was for

a big wedding we thought we didn't want.

00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,369

But it turns out we do.

00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,623

So you're asking us to refund

your donation to the children?

00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,541

Yeah.

00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,170

This feels really good.

00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:37,344

Yeah, I'm sorry. I am. But this wedding's

just really important to me.

00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:41,181

Hey, it's none of my business.

Besides, this is probably a good thing.

00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:45,977

We've really been spoiling the children,

what with all the food and warm clothing.

00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,689

That's not fair.

A person's wedding is important.

00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,483

And especially to me.

00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,445

Okay, I didn't have a graduation party.

And I didn't go to prom.

00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:59,366

And I spent my sweet 16

being chased around a tire yard...

00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:03,203

...by an escaped mental patient who,

in his own words, wanted to:

00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,038

"Kill me, or whatever."

00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,584

So I deserve a real celebration.

00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:14,130

And I'm not gonna let some sweaty

little man make me feel badly about it.

00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:21,262

She could've been talking about

either one of us.

00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,975

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,397

Hi, I'm Laura.

I'm here for your adoption interview.

00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,191

Hi, I'm Monica. And this is Chandler.

00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,568

LAURA: Hi. Thank you.

- Please come in.

00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,780

- Would you like something to drink?

LAURA: Water would be fine.

00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,116

We're so glad that you're here.

00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,910

We're really excited about

getting this process started.

00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:47,080

Because we love kids.

Love them to death.

00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,667

Well, not actually to death.

That's just a figure of speech.

00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,044

We love kids the appropriate amount...

00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,006

...as allowed by law.

00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,136

- Your place is just lovely.

- Thank you.

00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:05,306

Yes, this building does have

a wholesome, family feel to it.

00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,767

I feel like I've been here before.

00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,936

Are any other couples

in the building adopting?

00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,938

Is that that couple on the first floor?

00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,482

Because we should get a baby

before them.

00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,526

That guy tried to sell me drugs.

00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,614

But other than that,

wholesome, wholesome building.

00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,867

Oh.

00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:27,537

- What?

- I just realized why I remember this place.

00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,873

- Really? What is it?

- Oh, it's nothing.

00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,335

I went on a date with a guy who lived

in this building. It didn't end very well.

00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,464

That wouldn't, by any chance,

be Joey Tribbiani?

00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,592

- Yes!

- Of course it was.

00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,764

We had a great night. In the morning,

he promised he'd call and he didn't.

00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,432

Rat bastard!

00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,103

- So you're not friends with him?

- Oh, God, no.

00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,439

- No, no, no.

- No. Nope.

00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,526

- No, no, no.

- No, no, no. No.

00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,236

No.

00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,324

Well, I'm sorry I brought it up.

00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,035

So are either one of you planning

on staying at home?

00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,244

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:12,624

JOEY:

Hello? Anybody in there order a celebrity?

00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,751

Ow!

00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,253

What was that?

00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:21,049

That's just some crazy guy

who roams the halls here.

00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,092

He's great with kids, though.

00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:34,354

- Ross. Oh, my God, are you okay?

- Son of a bitch!

00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,944

Oh, relax. I didn't say the F-word.

00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,032

Ross, see, I told you!

Those swings are evil!

00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,283

All right. That is it.

00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:51,120

That's the last time Emma is getting on

one of those things for her entire life.

00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,874

No, no, no. Okay, it wasn't

the swing's fault. It was my fault.

00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,086

And kind of that kid's fault.

00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,256

Who is still laughing. Nice.

00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,009

Come on. Can we just get out of here

before somebody else gets hurt?

00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,429

No. Okay, okay. Wait. I have an idea.

I want you to get on the swing...

00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,975

...and you'll see that there's

nothing to be afraid of.

00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,188

I know what this is all about.

00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,358

You've always been jealous of my hair.

00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:25,572

I just think you're an adult, okay?

And you should get over your silly fears.

00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,907

- All right, fine. I'll do it.

- Good.

00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:31,119

- If you hold a spider.

- Where? Where?

00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:34,247

If you hold a spider.

00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,124

I know.

00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,756

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,800

Guys, is everything okay?

It's me, Joey.

00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,468

[SCREAMS]

00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,471

Adoption!

00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,516

What's going on?

00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,269

Oh, it's just like I said, that crazy...

00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,147

...Bert, roaming the halls.

00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,356

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,192

JOEY: Guys?

- Keep on roaming, Bert!

00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,321

We don't want any crazy today!

00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,783

JOEY: What's going on?

- We'll talk later, Bert. Everything's fine!

00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,078

Everything doesn't sound fine.

00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,581

Is he all right out there by himself?

00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,001

Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker.

His older brother...

00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,336

...Ernie.

00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:27,550

- Bert and Ernie?

- You can't make this stuff up.

00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,847

You never told me about that guy

and your sweet 16.

00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,558

- I'm sorry about that.

- Oh, it ended okay.

00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,977

One of my friends shot him.

00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,232

Well, at least you'll get a proper wedding.

You really deserve that.

00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,236

Yeah, I really do.

You know, I had nothing growing up.

00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,241

Just like the kids I took the money from.

00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:57,205

No. No, no. I see where this is going.

Don't make me go back there.

00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,335

Look, I can't have a wedding

with this money now. It's tainted.

00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,963

Fine, we'll give the money back.

00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,590

If that guy at the charity

gives us a hard time...

00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,052

...my friend hasn't shot anyone

in a really long time.

00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,349

I must say this seems like a lovely

environment to raise a child in.

00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,352

You are welcome to look

under any of the furniture...

00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,147

...because, believe me, you won't find

any porn or cigarettes under there.

00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:28,695

Before we look around, let me make sure

I have everything I need up to here.

00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:37,036

Why don't I show you the baby's room.

00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,960

- What are you doing?

- You wouldn't let me in.

00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,379

- I thought you were in trouble.

- Well, we're not.

00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,881

But you called me "Bert."

00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,551

That's our code word for danger.

00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:55,972

- We don't have a code word.

- We don't?

00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,349

We really should.

00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,603

From now on, "Bert"

will be our code word for danger.

00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,398

MONICA:

So that was the baby's room.

00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:11,487

- Uh, what room should we see next?

- Any room that isn't behind this couch.

00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,197

[LAUGHING]

00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:17,035

Some people don't get him,

but I think he's really funny.

00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,836

I did not care for that.

00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:28,921

You have to get out of here.

00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,716

You slept with our social worker

and never called her back.

00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,968

She is still pissed, so she can't see you.

00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,970

Okay, okay.

00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,684

CHANDLER: What?

- I forgot my bat.

00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,397

Oh, my God.

00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:50,735

And for the last time,

we do not want to be friends with you!

00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,573

And we don't wanna buy your bat!

00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,077

What are you doing here?

00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,954

Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert.

00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:09,128

- Are you friends with him?

- I can explain.

00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,422

Joey?

00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,092

All right. Okay. Uh...

00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,137

Wow. Yeah...

00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,182

You have got some nerve

coming back here.

00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,728

- I can't believe you never called me.

- Excuse me?

00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,982

You probably don't even remember

my name. It's Joey, by the way.

00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:34,529

And don't bother telling me yours,

because I totally remember it, lady.

00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,158

I waited weeks for you to call me.

00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,410

I gave you my number.

You never called me.

00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,746

Don't try to turn this around on me.

00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,917

I am not some kind of social work...

00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,627

...that you can just...

00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,254

...do.

00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:58,678

- I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.

- Really? Think about it. Come on.

00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,348

You're a beautiful woman. Smart, funny.

00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,434

We had a really good time. Huh?

00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:09,063

If I had your number,

why wouldn't I call you?

00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,773

I don't know.

00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,194

Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:20,241

Hey, too late for apologies. Okay?

You broke my heart.

00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,619

You know how many women

I had to sleep with to get over you?

00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,125

- Joey, wait...

JOEY: No!

00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,253

I waited a long time!

I can't wait anymore.

00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,676

I'm sorry that you had to see that.

I'm so embarrassed.

00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,054

- Oh, that's really okay.

- Yeah. We totally understand.

00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,892

- Dating is hard.

- Boy, you people are nice.

00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,437

And I've got to say...

00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,399

...I think you're going to make

excellent parents.

00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,194

[DOOR OPENS]

00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,821

Laura!

00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,205

We're back.

00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,249

Are you here to take more money?

00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,127

Because I think what you're

looking for is an ATM.

00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,005

No, no, we're here

to give the money back.

00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:20,051

Yeah. Because you know what?

It's all about the children.

00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,887

Although it's also about the wedding.

00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,974

Ugh. All right, here. No. Oh, God.

00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,978

If I haven't said so already,

sir, congratulations.

00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,231

Okay, look, enough, all right?

00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,358

I'm stepping in

and putting my foot down.

00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:38,986

As your future husband,

I'm gonna make this decision for us.

00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,657

What do you think we should do?

00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,661

- It's not your decision anymore.

- What?

00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:50,081

On behalf of the children of New York,

I reject your money.

00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,834

- But we're giving you this.

- And I'm giving it back to you.

00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,921

Come on. Consider it a contribution.

00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,716

Well, this is very generous.

00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,134

Please, take the check.

00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:05,596

Go have a great wedding

and a wonderful life together.

00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,015

Sounds good to me. We can save up,

come back...

00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,726

...and make an even bigger donation.

MAN: Absolutely.

00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,687

And when you do, ask for Brian.

00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,188

- Oh, is that you?

- No.

00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,276

[PHONE RINGS]

00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,320

Hello?

00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,073

Oh, hi.

00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,911

Oh, my God, really?

I can't wait to tell Chandler.

00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,830

Okay. Goodbye.

00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,875

- Wrong number?

- That was Laura.

00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:38,296

She gave us a great report and

we're officially on the waiting list.

00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,923

- That's great.

- Now we just wait for a call...

00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:45,011

...and someone tells us

there's a baby waiting for us. Oh.

00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,348

[PHONE RINGS]

00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,316

Hello?

00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,651

Have you seen Joey's bat?

00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,618

Okay. I got a spider.

00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:12,121

There were two, I picked the bigger one.

00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,042

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,630

This feels perfectly normal.

00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:25,259

Okay, get on the swing.

00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,721

RACHEL:

Okay.

00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:39,065

Okay.

00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,027

Oh, okay.

00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,572

Wow. Whoa.

00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:49,492

- See?

- All right. I can do this.

00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:51,494

There you go. Good for you.

00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:54,121

You know what?

I'm getting used to this little guy.

00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:57,833

- I don't even feel him in here anymore.

- That's because he's on your neck.

00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:59,710

[SCREAMS]

00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:02,463

Whoa! Ross!

00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,471

[English - US - SDH]

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