Эпизод с запоздавшим днём благодарения

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RACHEL: Hi.

PHOEBE: Hey.

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Uh, we need to talk

about something.

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Yeah. We don't feel like we can

host Thanksgiving this year.

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ALL: What?

- Are you kidding?

00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:17,099

Well, it's just with work

and the stress of adoption...

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...we don't feel like

we have the energy.

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Plus, we don't think it's fair

that every year the burden falls on us.

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That doesn't sound like you.

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That's Monica talking.

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No, no. We made this decision together.

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She's putting words in your mouth.

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Don't you put words in people's mouths.

You put turkey in people's mouths.

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I can't believe this.

This is Emma's first Thanksgiving.

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- No, it's not.

- It's not? When was she born?

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Well, personally, I think it's great

you're giving yourself a break.

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- Thank you, Pheebs.

- Sure. It's just as well.

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I mean, last year wasn't very good.

I think she's losing her touch.

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- What? You are way off, lady.

- Am I? Really? Am I?

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Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving

dinner and prove me wrong.

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Well, think about it. You'd be trying

to top what you did last year.

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You'd be in competition with yourself.

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That's my favorite kind.

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Okay, we are doing this.

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Don't let yourself

get manipulated this way.

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Stay out of this, Chandler.

This is between me and me.

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We are supposed to make

these decisions together.

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Did you not watch

the Dr. Phil I taped for you?

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- Hey.

- Hi. Happy Thanksgiving.

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Oh, yeah.

Happy Meatless Turkey-Murder Day.

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You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies

from that bakery on Bleeker.

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- Could you pick them up for me?

- You're not making the pies?

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No, I don't make chocolate pies.

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When I was younger,

I entered this pie-eating contest.

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I ate so many that the thought

of them makes me sick.

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Did you at least win the contest?

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Two minutes, twelve pies

and a part of one tin.

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- Okay, I'll see you guys at 4.

RACHEL: Can't wait.

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This dinner is gonna be so great.

In your face, last-year me.

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- Hey, Rach?

- Yeah.

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Um, what's Emma doing today?

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Well, let's see, uh, I know that she has

a meeting with her lawyer...

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...and then she has to make

a very big poop.

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- Why?

- Well, I want to enter her...

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...in a baby beauty pageant.

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Oh, my God. That's the creepiest thing

I've ever heard.

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Okay, but before you say no,

my friend Suzanne is entering her kid.

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And compared to Emma,

she's a real dog.

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- Agh. Phoebe, all babies are beautiful.

- Oh, okay.

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No. Ugh, Phoebe, just the idea

of pitting one baby against another...

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...I mean, you know, and judging

who's cuter just for a trophy...

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- And a thousand dollars.

...is something I'm very interested in.

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Oh, please, do not tell Ross.

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He still believes that what's

on the inside is important.

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Okay. Oh, and Emma needs

a cowgirl outfit for the competition.

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Where am I gonna get

a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?

00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,576

- Well, I was thinking...

- Take the clothes...

00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,287

...off Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid!

- Yeah!

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[MARCHING BAND PLAYING

FESTIVE MUSIC]

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[LAUGHING]

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Did someone drop the baton again?

00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,593

Why come all the way

from Kansas to do that?

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I don't get older, I just get better.

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You know what just occurred to me?

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This could be our last Thanksgiving

just the two of us.

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I mean, we could be

getting a baby soon.

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- You don't know that.

- Somebody's gonna pick us.

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But we haven't heard a thing

from the adoption agency.

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I'm telling you, it's gonna happen.

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Next year, it's gonna be

you, me and little Hemingway Bing.

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- What? He's my favorite author.

- Name one of his books.

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[SCOFFS]

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The Firm?

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Okay, let's see. Okay, the turkey's

in the oven. The stuffing is ready.

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You know, you always cook this meal

all by yourself. Let me help this year.

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Oh, Chandler, that's sweet.

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But you don't have to do everything

Dr. Phil tells you to do.

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I'm serious, let me do something.

Just not the turkey. Nothing high-profile.

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Okay, let's see. Oh, the cranberry sauce.

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It's easy to make,

and no one really cares about it.

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Tell me more.

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I'm gonna go check on something across

the hall. You start by washing these.

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Not with soap!

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You obviously haven't tasted

my Palmolive potatoes.

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- Hi. Hey, guess what Joey has.

- Three tickets to today's Rangers game!

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- Dude, I wanted him to guess.

- Oh.

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- Oh, my God.

- Yeah, they're great seats too.

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- Guess where they are.

- Center ice.

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Did I do something to you?

00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,947

- Mm. The game's at 1.

- So?

00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,993

- Dinner's at 4. We'll never make it back.

- We leave before it's over. We'll be back.

00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,954

You say that, but it could take us

a long time to get home.

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Plus, Joey could get lost and they could

have to page us to go pick him up.

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Dude, two times that happened!

00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,466

Look, Monica's

been working hard all day.

00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,427

She didn't want to host

in the first place. We shouldn't go.

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He's right, man.

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- Yeah, I guess. So we'll see you at 4.

- Okay.

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And get ready to taste

my very special cranberries.

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Or should I say "Chan-berries"?

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That's some gentle comedy, dude.

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We're still going to the game.

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- Yeah.

- Yeah.

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WOMAN: This is contestant number 16,

Rebecca Hope from Yonkers.

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- Hey.

- Phoebe, listen, I think we gotta go.

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This place is freaking me out.

00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:05,507

I've been watching this guy over there.

I don't think he came with a kid.

00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,092

But we can't leave now.

00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,886

There was this one baby, Haley,

who was favored to win...

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...she got croup,

so she had to stay home.

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This competition

just blew wide-open, folks.

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Phoebe, it's just too weird.

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I just saw a 1 -year-old

run around with pantyhose on.

00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,525

Oh, I know.

We should've been more prepared.

00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:28,864

It's okay. Now, the way I see it,

our real competition now is Cameron.

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My God, they just took her sweater off.

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Look at those arms.

Hello, Michelin Man.

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- Oh, Phoebe.

- Whoo-hoo.

00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,414

Come on!

You know what, it's already 3:00.

00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:40,709

They haven't even gotten

to Emma's group yet. We got dinner.

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But Emma's got what it takes.

She could go all the way!

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- Phoebe, you have to calm down.

- Ahem. Okay.

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Rachel, the hottest babies in the tri-state

area are in this room right now.

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I overheard one judge say that

not one of them holds a candle to Emma.

00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,939

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,734

- You heard him say that?

- Yeah.

00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:10,030

All right. Okay. All right, let's give

these babies something to cry about.

00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:14,034

Good. Let's get down to business.

Emma needs some makeup.

00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,452

What? No... What?

00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,871

She's gonna look washed-out

next to the others.

00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,457

No, I'm not letting you

put makeup on my baby.

00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,876

- Why not?

- Because I already did.

00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,925

[ALL SHOUTING]

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- Oh! You bum! Get off the ice!

- You suck! Get off the ice, you idiot!

00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,721

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

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- What a game.

- I know. Yeah.

00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,852

- I can't believe Chandler's missing this.

- I'm sorry he's not here.

00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:45,023

But I gotta say,

I am really enjoying nacho chair.

00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,693

Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more

if you didn't keep batting my hand away.

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ALL:

Oh!

00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,948

- Yeah!

- These seats are great.

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I know, I know.

When I was here for "Holidays on Ice"...

00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:02,290

...I was sitting so far away,

Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner.

00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:06,044

Whoa, we'd better get going.

If we don't leave now, we're gonna be late.

00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,798

But it's a tie game. So we're a little late.

The girls will be there.

00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,092

Let's just stay for one more goal.

00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,760

- I don't know.

- One more fight.

00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,887

- Okay.

- Okay.

00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,893

Where is everybody?

They're 45 minutes late.

00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:27,148

I can't believe they're not here.

I slave and I slave for what?

00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,276

They've ruined Cranberry Day.

00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,822

- How late are we?

- Forty-five minutes.

00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,031

- Wow.

- Here.

00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,449

Yeah. Okay.

00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:40,328

Rachel and Phoebe are already there,

so they probably started without us.

00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,873

We could just slip in, and no one

needs to know where we were.

00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:49,129

- You may want to lose the foam finger.

- Oh, no, no, no.

00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,755

You just want to put it on your hand.

00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,173

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

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ROSS: Hey.

PHOEBE: Oh.

00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,803

You...? You're not at Thanksgiving?

00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,805

- No.

- No, we're late.

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- What are you doing here?

- We're late too.

00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,559

[RACHEL SHRIEKS]

00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,228

We figured we could be late

because you'd be on time.

00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,690

Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani.

00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:12,110

- Nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us.

- Yeah, where were you?

00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,487

- Well... Uh...

ROSS: Yeah, what's with the trophy?

00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:18,366

- Uh, well, uh...

- We were at a spelling bee.

00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,328

And I won.

00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:26,082

You won an adult

Thanksgiving Day spelling bee?

00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,878

Yes. Y-E-S. Yes.

00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,713

Let me see this.

00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:35,425

"Grand Supreme Little Darling,

New York Division"?

00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,053

That's me. Heh.

00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,682

You entered Emma in a beauty pageant?

00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,853

And it looks like she put makeup on her.

00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:51,191

Wait a second. Where have I seen

that cowgirl outfit before?

00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,778

I can't believe this. She's our daughter.

00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:58,657

That you would treat her like

some kind of show dog is inexcusable.

00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,869

- She won a thousand dollars.

- So this is an annual thing?

00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,498

[GASPS]

00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,417

That's Alicia May Emory's outfit!

00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,880

Guys, there are people in there

who are not getting any happier.

00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,007

- What are we gonna do?

- Figure it out.

00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,717

I gotta put Emma down for a nap.

00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:21,054

And, Rach, while you're in there,

throw something on Alicia May.

00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:25,183

- All right, what are we gonna say?

- Ooh!

00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,060

We'll say that we were mugged.

00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,729

You can't get mad at someone

who's been mugged.

00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,065

Good. But you don't look

like you were mugged.

00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,526

No. Here.

00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,447

Hey!

00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,952

Do you hear something?

00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,249

They're out there.

00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,458

[GASPS]

00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,835

Let me see.

00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,255

I can't believe this. They're an hour late...

00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:58,007

...and they're just

standing out there talking.

00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:03,430

Everything's so distorted.

It looks like Joey has a giant hand.

00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,392

That says "Rangers" on it.

They went to the game.

00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,601

[GASPS]

00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,771

Oh, they are in for a world of pain.

00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:17,819

- Ross' shirt is torn.

- They're late and they're sloppy.

00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,449

All right, Emma's napping.

What happened to your shirt?

00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:26,453

I got mugged, and they stole my pocket.

00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:30,582

We're just trying

to figure out an excuse.

00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,042

Hey, ooh! How about this?

00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:37,589

We could say that Monica told us 5:00,

not 4:00. That way we're right on time.

00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,215

Or!

00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:44,012

Or we could plant PCP in the apartment

and call the cops on her.

00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:50,268

That would be a good way to get rid

of all the PCP we have lying around.

00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,395

We'll just say that she said it was 5:00.

00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:55,315

We'll just act casual.

We're not late, we're right on time.

00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,864

"We know you're out there."

00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,365

[GASPS]

00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,204

Who do you think it's from?

00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,298

Oh, God, this is bad. This is so bad.

00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,801

Well, let's just go in there

and face them.

00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:28,139

I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on

Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.

00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:32,185

I hate that thing.

It's like a bolt of lightning.

00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,896

I have an idea.

Why don't we play Rock, Paper, Scissors.

00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,397

Whoever loses, goes in first.

00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,150

JOEY: All right, I'm in.

RACHEL: Ready.

00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,698

Ha, ha! I win.

00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:49,410

- What is that?

- That's fire. It beats everything.

00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,663

Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon?

00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,248

- Pop-pssh.

- Aw.

00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:58,169

Well-played, Phoebe Buffay.

Well-played.

00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,713

All right,

let's all go in at the same time.

00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,091

- Okay.

- Okay. Okay.

00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,596

- It's locked.

- What? Oh, sure, now they lock it.

00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,974

When they're having sex on the couch,

it's like:

00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,185

"Come on in,

my butt is surprisingly hairy!"

00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:20,024

All right, come on. All right, you guys,

we're so sorry we're late.

00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,777

Please let us in so we can have

dinner together.

00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:27,532

No, everything's cold. The turkey's

dried out and the stuffing's all soggy.

00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,618

Yeah, and there's a bowl

of cranberry sauce that's...

00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,579

What happens to cranberry sauce?

00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:35,790

- Nothing, it's fine.

- Oh, thank God.

00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,627

Come on, you guys, we're sorry.

Our subway broke down.

00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:43,381

That's a lie! You went to the game.

I can see Joey's hand.

00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,633

For the love of God, take it off!

00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,015

Guys, it doesn't matter

why we're late. We're all here now.

00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:55,184

Please let us in so we can have

some of your delicious turkey.

00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:57,979

[LAUGHS]

00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,274

I had a dream once

about a fax machine that did that.

00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,903

That's all the turkey you're gonna get.

00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:08,823

- How are we gonna decide who gets this?

- Water balloon!

00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:16,247

What are we gonna do? I'm starving.

00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,875

Ah, oh! I just remembered,

we do have something to eat.

00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,419

Monica put something

in our oven this morning.

00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,922

You touch that,

and you will be sorry!

00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:28,509

Guys, I'd listen to her.

The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it!

00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,180

- Ah!

- Ha-ha-ha.

00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,432

Oh, my God, it's Brussels sprouts!

00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,060

That's worse than no food.

00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,814

Ha, ha! All you got was

Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts.

00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,191

Stinky?

00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,736

Please let me stay on this side

of the door.

00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,530

Oh, I know! I still have my old key.

00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,784

JOEY: Oh.

- We can just unlock the door.

00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,995

I don't know if that's a good idea.

They don't wanna be with us.

00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,872

I don't wanna be with them either...

00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,751

...but it's Thanksgiving, and we should

not want to be together together.

00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,587

If I could just get in there,

make a face-to-face apology.

00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,507

Look them in the eye,

I could get them to forgive us.

00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,134

- I don't know.

- I'm telling you...

00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,264

...I can do it.

00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,309

Yeah, he can do it.

00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,938

RACHEL:

Oh...

00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:30,029

Aw. It all looks so beautiful.

00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,074

- The turkey, the stuffing.

- The cranberries.

00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,911

Ugh, enough!

A monkey could've made them.

00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,586

Hey, listen, guys,

we feel really terrible.

00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:49,090

He's doing that weird eye-contact thing.

00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,592

Don't look at him. Don't look at him.

00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:56,347

Come on, you guys. We want

you to know we're very, very sorry.

00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,308

Right, guys?

00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,979

ROSS: I feel terrible.

RACHEL: Oh, so sorry.

00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,483

But let's not ruin this day.

You've worked so hard.

00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,737

Let's move past this and try to have

a nice meal all together, huh?

00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,989

The floating heads

do make a good point.

00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,868

Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.

00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,077

- So bad.

- So bad.

00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,620

So bad.

00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,207

Okay.

00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:27,837

Okay, you two go get the dessert,

and I'll let you in.

00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,214

Dessert?

00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:35,470

Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up

the pies. You did remember, right?

00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:39,474

Pies. Oh, we thought you said "prize."

00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,894

Here.

00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:50,193

- "Grand Supreme Little Darling"?

- Congratulations!

00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:55,490

Oh, my God, you forgot the pies?

Well, I cannot believe this.

00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,284

You forced me to make dinner,

you're an hour late...

00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:01,370

...and you forget the one little thing

that I asked you to do.

00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,165

Really, girls, not cool.

00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,545

Well, you man-heads aren't any better.

You lied about going to the game.

00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,048

You knew it'd make you late,

and you went anyway.

00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,176

Hey, I'm getting a little tired of this.

We said we're sorry.

00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,888

It's Thanksgiving, for Pete's sakes!

A day of forgiveness.

00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:22,683

- It's a day to be thankful.

- Don't make me come up there!

00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,852

It's too late for apologies.

00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,772

Fine, let's just go.

I don't need your stupid dinner.

00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,858

That would be a lot more convincing

if you weren't drooling.

00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,570

- Ew, is that what that is?

- Sorry.

00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,616

Come on, you guys,

let's just do our own Thanksgiving.

00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,119

- Yeah, I'll cook.

- Yeah, let's go out.

00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,703

Hey!

00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:46,374

Yeah, you three

have a nice Thanksgiving.

00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,919

- The three of us?

- Yeah. You, Chan and the vein.

00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,671

[GASPS]

00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,846

[GAGS]

00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,933

- Uh-oh. I'm stuck.

- Joey, that is not gonna work.

00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,310

No, seriously. Unh.

00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,813

- I'm really wedged in here.

- I'll pull you through.

00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,064

JOEY:

Okay.

00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,276

Ow! Stop, stop, I'm worried

about damaging my head.

00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,944

It's a little late for that.

00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,573

Hurry up, you gotta do something.

00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,159

All right, well,

this does not change anything.

00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,411

We need to get something

to grease his face.

00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,580

- We got turkey grease.

- Bring it.

00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:29,834

I just want to say that I'm sorry I

referred to the vein as a separate person.

00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,295

Here you go.

00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,423

Oh, that smells good.

00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,933

- Okay?

MONICA: Okay, try it.

00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,896

Gah! It isn't working.

00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:53,608

- We're gonna have to unscrew the chain.

- Hurry, I can't feel my ears.

00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:56,277

Can you ever feel your ears?

00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,613

Interesting.

00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:03,034

- Chandler, where are your tools?

- Oh, I left them on my bulldozer.

00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,372

I don't have tools.

00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:12,126

- Well, I do, but Rachel borrowed them.

- I lent them to Ross.

00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,588

- I gave them to Joey.

- I left them at the park.

00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,092

I'm finding it really hard

not to mess with him.

00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,303

I stuffed Brussels sprouts

down his pants.

00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,638

Nice.

00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:24,972

[PHONE RINGING]

00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,933

Okay, I have to get that.

00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,311

Now, when I get back,

I want you and your friends to be gone.

00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:34,690

Thanksgiving is over.

The vein has spoken.

00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:40,029

- It's really starting to hurt.

- Look, I'm gonna pull on the door...

00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:44,158

...and you guys push. Maybe we can get

enough room to wiggle him out, okay?

00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,118

Okay, so push.

00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:49,622

Just a sec. We're kind of

in the middle of something here.

00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,875

Ooh, ooh. Stop putting things

down my pants.

00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,920

- Come on, guys, push!

- Yeah, come on, push!

00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,755

Push! Push!

00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,840

[GRUNTING]

00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:13,229

- My cranberries!

- Man, I got food all over me.

00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,942

I can't believe what you did.

Monica's gonna kill you.

00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:22,780

Look! Look! Look what the...

Look what the floating heads did!

00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,284

I don't care.

00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,037

What's going on?

00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,873

That was the adoption agency.

00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,543

And?

00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:39,797

- We're getting a baby!

- Are you serious?

00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:48,681

There's a pregnant woman in Ohio,

and she picked us.

00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,518

- Oh, my God, that's great!

ROSS: That's incredible.

00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,564

RACHEL:

I'm so happy for you.

00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:01,068

This Thanksgiving

kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!

00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:12,580

To Monica and Chandler

and that knocked-up girl in Ohio.

00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:20,629

I'm just so happy you guys

are finally getting a kid.

00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:24,216

I know. Have you considered pageanting?

00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:31,766

I can't believe they called.

I mean, we're actually getting a baby.

00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:33,809

Aw. I know how you feel.

00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:37,438

- Really?

- Sure.

00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:40,649

I went through the exact same thing

with Alicia May Emory.

00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:45,905

The waiting, the wondering.

00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:50,493

Then one day,

I get that call from Toys"R"Us.

00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:53,454

She was in stock.

00:22:54,247 --> 00:22:56,874

That is the exact same thing.

00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:03,005

[English - US - SDH]