Эпизод со свадьбой Фиби

00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:08,090

- Hey.

- Listen, I need to ask you something.

00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,134

You know how my stepdad's in prison?

00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,386

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:16,598

He was supposed to get a weekend

furlough so he could go to the wedding.

00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,934

But he just called and...

00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:24,106

Well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the

exercise yard couldn't wait till Monday.

00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,567

- So he can't come?

- No.

00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,987

And so there's no one to walk me

down the aisle. And...

00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,615

Well, I would just really love it

if you would do it.

00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,326

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:39,246

You've, you know,

sort of been like a dad to me.

00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:44,460

You've always, you know, looked out

for me and shared your wisdom.

00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,465

I am pretty "wisdomous."

00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,968

So, what do you say?

00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,805

Are you kidding?

Phoebe, I would be honored.

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PHOEBE:

Oh, thank you.

00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,728

I hope...

00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,482

I hope you know how much

you mean to me.

00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:09,151

Listen, I hope...

00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,653

I hope that you know...

00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,493

I don't want you to see your father cry.

Go to your room!

00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,547

- Oh.

- Oh, no, no, no. Let your dad get this.

00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,216

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

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Oh. It's my wedding planner.

She's driving me crazy!

00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:24,601

Hello? Okay, stop screaming!

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Okay, so halibut.

00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,232

All right, so salmon.

Either way. I don't...

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- It doesn't matter to me.

- Well, it matters to me!

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Well, I don't care. So you pick.

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Did you just hang up on me?

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All right, look, I need you at the

rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.

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Okay. What time is that?

00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,586

You don't know military time?

00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:53,964

I must have been in missile training

the day they taught that.

00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,717

Just subtract 12.

00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,469

Okay, so 1800 minus 12...

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...is 1788.

00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,307

- Six o'clock!

- Okay.

00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,516

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

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Hold on. Yeah? Geller here.

00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:11,190

No, I said it has to be there

by 4:00. Goodbye.

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How hard is it to make an ice sculpture?

00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,485

That sounds really fancy.

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I told you, I just want a simple wedding.

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Please, honey, leave the details to me.

00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,785

Now, I wanna make this day

as special for you as I can.

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I was thinking the harpist

should wear white.

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Harpist? My friend Marjorie

is playing the steel drums.

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- Oh, she backed out.

- She did? Why?

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I made her.

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Steel drums don't really say

"elegant wedding."

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- Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.

- Hey!

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She will shower when Tibet is free.

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CHANDLER: Hey. You look great.

PHOEBE: You too.

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I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner.

I rarely practice my meals before I eat.

00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,660

What did we say

was your one gift to us?

00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:08,330

No stupid jokes, but I thought

that was for the actual wedding.

00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,332

Rehearse it.

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Hi.

00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,836

- Thanks for coming, you guys.

- Oh, yeah...

00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,507

I was...

I was going for a handshake.

00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,509

That why your hand's

against my crotch?

00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,761

- That is why.

MIKE: Yeah.

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So, Rach, where's Emma?

00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,975

Monica made me send her

to my mom's.

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Apparently, babies and weddings

don't mix.

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Are you still crying about

your damn baby?

00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,027

Pheebs, you got to keep the line moving.

Remember, 20 seconds per person.

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You see these clowns all the time.

00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,703

- Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?

- Yes, we are.

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Gosh, our little ones

are growing up fast, aren't they?

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- How's that?

- You know...

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...on one hand, you're happy for them.

On the other, it's hard to let go.

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Who in God's name are you?

00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,721

I'm not that fond of you either, buddy.

I'm just trying to be nice for the kids.

00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:12,686

You know what? We have no idea what

we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.

00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,731

I thought we'd be groomsmen.

They would have asked us by now.

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When did they ask you

to be a bridesmaid?

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- November.

- I wanna say it's not looking good.

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- Hey, Pheebs?

- Huh?

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You haven't told these guys

what they're doing in the wedding yet.

00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,413

Um, well, they're not in the wedding.

00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,248

What?

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Well...

00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,590

...this is really awkward.

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Oh, and I can leave.

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I'm sorry, you guys. But Mike's got

his brother and his friends from school.

00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,100

So, you know, you were...

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If it helps, you were next in line.

You just missed the cut.

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Oh, man.

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This is like figure skating team

all over again.

00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,573

I mean, synchronized swimming.

00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,743

I mean...

I mean, the balance beam.

00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,244

- Help me.

- Football.

00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,038

Thank you.

00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,916

Oh, Pheebs, spit that out.

That has pork in it.

00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,459

PHOEBE:

Oh! Oh!

00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,545

I thought the pot stickers

were supposed to be vegetarian?

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Yeah, I changed them.

I sent you a fax about it.

00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,176

I don't have a fax machine.

00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,971

Huh. Well, then there are gonna be

a few surprises.

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I can't believe we're gonna be

the only people not in the wedding.

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- I know. I hate being left out of things.

- And it's a wedding.

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It'll be weird if I'm not in it.

00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:46,154

- Hey, guys, how's it going?

- Fine.

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We're sitting here, alone, doing nothing.

It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.

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Look, about tomorrow,

I've got a question for you.

00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:57,666

I found out one of my groomsmen

had an emergency and can't make it.

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- What happened?

- Who cares? And?

00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,797

And I was wondering

if one of you guys...

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- I'll do it!

- Me!

00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,511

You both wanna do it?

There's only room for one.

00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,347

Pick me. I look great in a tux,

and I won't steal focus.

00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:17,018

No, Mike. No, no, you wanna pick me.

I mean... Watch.

00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:20,856

Huh?

00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:25,652

You know, I really don't feel

very comfortable making this decision.

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You know, Phoebe knows you better.

I'm gonna let her choose.

00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:35,203

Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say

hello to Mike's next groomsman.

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Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror...

00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,876

...as he is me.

00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,630

- Please. You're going down.

- You are going "downer."

00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,716

They say that on

the figure skating team?

00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,635

I wouldn't know. I didn't make it.

00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,516

You know I'm filling in

for Phoebe's stepdad tomorrow, right?

00:07:56,684 --> 00:08:00,228

- Yeah. Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.

- Oh, hey, my pleasure.

00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,023

So, what are your intentions

with my Phoebe?

00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:07,569

- I intend to marry her.

- Oh, a wiseacre.

00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:13,700

I understand you plan to support

your wife by playing the piano?

00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,411

Isn't that kind of unstable?

00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,498

- No more so than acting.

- Strike two.

00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,919

You're right.

She probably will support me.

00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,338

Hey, unless we move in with you, Dad.

00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,591

Strike three.

00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,093

You only get one more, Mike.

00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,016

So? What did you decide?

00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,727

I decided to pee.

00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,397

You have to choose one of us

to be in your wedding.

00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,942

- One of the groomsmen fell out.

- Oh, no, no.

00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:50,737

I can't choose between you two.

I love you both so much.

00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,574

Just not enough to put us

in the original wedding party.

00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,452

But I don't wanna choose.

It's...

00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,579

- Okay, wait. Rach?

- Yeah?

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Listen, I have a very special

bridesmaid task for you to do.

00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,252

Goody! What is it?

00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,796

Well, there's a spot open

for only one groomsman...

00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:11,633

...and you have to choose between Ross

and Chandler. So good luck with that.

00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:14,553

What? What, what, what?

No, I don't wanna do that.

00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,638

I guess I have to find a new bridesmaid.

00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,557

I'll do it!

00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,809

Okay, it's 2100 hours.

00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,895

- Time for your toast.

- Do I have time to go to the bathroom?

00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:28,358

You had a bathroom break at 2030.

Pee on your own time, Mike.

00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:33,405

In regards to the toasts, okay,

you wanna keep them short.

00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,575

Nothing kills a rehearsal dinner

like long speeches. Okay.

00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,077

You just get in, do your thing,

and get out.

00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,996

Is that what you say to Chandler?

00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,500

It's 2101, and I am not amused.

00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,461

Okay.

00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:52,632

The bride and groom

have a few words they'd like to say.

00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,636

Okay. Hello, everyone.

00:09:56,804 --> 00:10:00,932

And thank you all for being here tonight.

So tomorrow's the big event.

00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:05,270

Some of you might not know, but Mike

and I didn't get off to the best start.

00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:08,815

Yeah. My friend Joey and I...

00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:13,361

...decided to fix each other up

with friends. So I...

00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,199

Oh, okay. I...

00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,536

I thought about it, and I fixed him up

with my friend Mary Ellen...

00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:25,498

...who couldn't be here tonight,

because... It's not...

00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,293

It's not important.

Well, she's in rehab.

00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:33,673

Anyway. So Joey said that he was

fixing me up with his friend Mike...

00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:38,053

...only he didn't have a friend Mike,

so he just brought my Mike. And... And...

00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,888

[CLEARS THROAT]

00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,391

But despite, you know...

It got good.

00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,855

I wanna take a moment to mention

my mother, who couldn't be here.

00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,732

Oh, God.

00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:53,151

And... And moment's over.

00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,321

So okay... Oh, no, forget that.

00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,573

I can forget that. Oh, this is funny.

00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:02,243

Oh, but you need to know that

to get that.

00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,080

So... Oh, well, okay.

00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,499

I... Okay.

00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,669

Okay, Monica, I can't do it like this!

00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:15,507

This is my wedding, okay?

I don't want this...

00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,176

Or this... Or this...

00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,595

Okay? I just wanted a simple wedding...

00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,057

...where my fiancé can go

to the bathroom any time he wants!

00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,021

- You know what? You're done.

- What?

00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,023

You're fired!

00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,901

Cheers.

00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,122

- Hey.

- Happy wedding day.

00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,957

Happy my wedding day to you.

00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,460

Joey, listen, this is gonna be

bridesmaid central, all right?

00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,004

We're gonna have hair and makeup

in the bathroom.

00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,758

I had to move a couple things in the

fridge to make room for the corsages.

00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:02,470

Man! I wouldn't have had breakfast

if I knew there was gonna be corsages.

00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,309

Hi.

00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,479

About last night...

00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,315

I know you're under

a lot of stress, and...

00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,653

Well, even though the things you said

hurt me a little bit...

00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,948

My point is...

00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,659

Well, I'm willing to take my job back.

00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,121

Oh, well, that's okay.

00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:33,334

I think you and I will do much better

if you're just here as a bridesmaid.

00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,213

Oh, is that so?

00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,715

Okay.

00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,342

If that's really what you want,

then here.

00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,679

I give you the headset. I don't really

wanna give you the headset.

00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:50,393

I guess if you're taking over, then you

should probably return these messages.

00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,812

- This is a lot.

- Uh-huh.

00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,857

But I'm sure you can handle this.

I have won awards...

00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:59,194

...for my organizational skills.

But I'm sure you'll do fine.

00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,781

- You've won awards?

- I printed them out on my computer.

00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,201

- Hey.

- Hi.

00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,328

- Where's Rach?

- She's in her room. Why?

00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,039

I have to talk to her

about this groomsman situation.

00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,876

I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there

while I'm in the seats like some chump.

00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,546

[KNOCKING]

00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:23,092

My God, you're breathtaking.

00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,555

What do you want?

00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,684

You haven't by any chance

chosen a groomsman yet, have you?

00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,521

Ross, please don't make this

harder than it already is.

00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,565

I'm not. I'm making it easier. Pick me.

00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:41,903

- Chandler said it's important to him too.

- Listen. Listen.

00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,865

Whoever you pick is gonna

walk down the aisle with you.

00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:49,577

Now, I promise I won't say a word.

But if you pick Chandler...

00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:53,331

...he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes

in your ear the whole time.

00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,417

Oh, you are the lesser of two evils.

00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,378

Yes!

00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:07,262

Sven, I don't understand what you're

saying. What is wrong with the flowers?

00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,764

"Lorkins"? What the hell are "lorkins"?

00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,266

I know.

00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,769

- Hey.

- Mike, if you were Swedish...

00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:18,439

...and you were saying the word

"lorkins," what flower would that be?

00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,483

- Orchids?

- Right there!

00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,778

That's why I'm marrying you.

00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,453

Hello, Michael.

00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,622

Joseph.

00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,293

May I have a word with you, please?

00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,471

This is...

00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,473

...great.

00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,809

Have a seat.

00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,606

Last night...

00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,902

...I tried to welcome you into my family.

00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,699

And instead, you disrespect me.

00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,534

I cannot allow this.

00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,914

Are you rehearsing

for some really bad Mafia movie?

00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,166

More back talk.

00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:24,464

And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines

from my recent unsuccessful audition...

00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:28,301

...for Family Honor 2:

This A-Time It's A-Personal.

00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,306

Joey, I kind of have a lot to do today.

What do you want?

00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,642

I want you to take this seriously!

00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:38,978

Phoebe is very,

very important to me, okay?

00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:41,564

I wanna make sure

you are gonna take care of her.

00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,526

Joe, I love Phoebe.

00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,862

She's the most important thing

in my life.

00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,074

I'd die before I let

anything happen to her.

00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:55,828

That's what I wanted to hear.

00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,831

Because she's family, okay?

00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,833

And now you're gonna be family.

00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:06,172

And there's nothing more important

in the whole world than family.

00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,591

That must have been one lousy movie.

00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,760

That was me!

00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,349

- Hi.

- Let's talk about this groomsman thing.

00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,394

If you pick Ross, he'll walk you

down the aisle just fine.

00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,521

But if you choose me...

00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,065

...you'll be getting some comedy.

00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,778

Even so...

00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,950

...I think I'm gonna pick Ross.

00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,910

Let me tell you

why you need to pick me.

00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,245

RACHEL:

Okay.

00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:43,251

See, when I was a kid, you know,

I was always left out of everything...

00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,462

...and it really made me feel insecure.

00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:50,633

I was always picked last in gym...

00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:54,762

...even behind that fat exchange student

who didn't know the rules to baseball.

00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:58,641

I mean, this guy would strike out

and then run to third.

00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,980

Anyway, if I'm the only one

left out of this wedding...

00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:08,317

...I just know that all those feelings

are gonna come rushing back.

00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,655

All right, fine, I pick you.

00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,615

Yes!

00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,745

Make "groom" for Chandler.

00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,583

Oh, my.

00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:29,672

No, we're gonna do it my way.

Because your way is stupid.

00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,551

All right, I got to go.

I have another call, Reverend.

00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,512

Hello?

00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,765

- I'm glad we had this little talk.

- Yes.

00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,809

And thanks for all

the wedding night advice.

00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,437

That didn't make me

uncomfortable at all.

00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,856

All right, so I'll see everybody tonight.

00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,357

- Okay.

- Bye.

00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,491

Did you guys know that there's

a giant ice sculpture in the hall?

00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,701

PHOEBE:

Oh, my God, what's it doing here?

00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:02,997

I guess it got sent to the billing address

as opposed to the shipping address.

00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:07,460

- What a pickle.

- Oh, my God, everything's such a mess.

00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,171

Why is this happening to me?

00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:14,008

How bad do you wanna

stick your tongue on that?

00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,517

- How's it going?

ROSS: Good.

00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:27,647

I'm just getting some coffee

so I'm alert for the wedding.

00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:30,691

That's what I was doing too.

00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:34,028

Well, you have fun tonight.

00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:37,031

- You too.

- Oh, I will.

00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,741

Me too.

00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:46,666

Wait a minute. I know why I'm being

such an ass. Why are you?

00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,920

- I'm not supposed to tell you.

- I'm not supposed to tell you.

00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,215

You told us both

we could be in the wedding?

00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:59,053

In my defense, you weren't

supposed to tell each other!

00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,765

Rachel, only one of us can do it.

You have to choose.

00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,560

You and me together again.

00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,604

Rach, Rach? Knock-knock.

00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,940

- Who's there?

- I'll tell you at the wedding.

00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,068

Hey, I forgot my scarf.

00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:17,113

I can't do this. I don't know

which one of you guys to pick.

00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,408

Oh, you haven't picked yet?

Oh, good, because I had an idea.

00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:25,580

I thought it would be fun if the third

groomsman was my family dog, Chappy.

00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:29,083

What? A dog?

No. Rachel gets to choose.

00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,587

Wow, this is a tough one.

00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,755

I think I'm gonna have to go

with the dog.

00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,927

So, what you're saying is

that the chef is at the Hamilton Club...

00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:44,223

...but the food is not? And the drinks

are there but the bartender is not?

00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:47,727

Are you freaking kidding me?

00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,271

How's it going?

00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,273

- Help me.

- What?

00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,276

I want you to be crazy bitch again.

00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,779

Really?

00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,781

Please?

00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:05,953

- You really want me to come back?

- More than I wanna get married.

00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:11,167

Okay, people, we are back in business!

00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:15,087

Oh, God, I have missed you

so much. Okay.

00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:18,090

Get your hair and makeup done.

I'll take care of everything.

00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,927

- Hey, what are you guys gonna do?

- About what?

00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,137

The blizzard.

I just saw on the news...

00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,181

...it's the worst snowstorm

in 20 years.

00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,309

They already closed

all the bridges and tunnels.

00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:32,480

But the band and the photographer

are coming in from New Jersey.

00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,649

I don't think they are.

00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:38,527

Ha-ha! Looks like you're not gonna be

in the wedding, either.

00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,822

So sorry, Pheebs.

00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:57,505

- Well, the club lost its power.

- The news said most of the city did.

00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,675

- Since when do you watch the news?

- For your information...

00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:03,886

...since they hired

a very hot weather girl.

00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,181

I can't believe you aren't

getting married today.

00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,308

PHOEBE:

I know.

00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:13,521

It's so beautiful out there. You always

wanted to get married outside.

00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,315

- Why don't you just do it on the street?

- What?

00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,193

Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore.

00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:22,697

I mean, you couldn't ask

for a more romantic setting.

00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,574

This could be the simple wedding

you've always wanted.

00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,452

What do you think?

00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,331

I think I wanna get married to you today.

00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:38,212

Me too. Monica, do you think

we could do it?

00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,507

Affirmative!

00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,517

Okay, let's get these chairs out here!

00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,312

Gunther, hit the Christmas lights.

00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,526

Ah.

00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:06,574

Okay, who left the ice sculpture

on the steam grate?

00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:11,662

MRS. HANNIGAN: Michael.

MIKE: Hey, you made it. Great. Chappy!

00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,874

- There you go.

MIKE: Hi. Hi.

00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,919

I know getting married in the street

isn't what you approve of.

00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:24,467

No, it's lovely. The lights and the snow.

I could look at them forever.

00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,802

I crushed a pill and put it in her drink.

00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,014

Come on, sweetheart.

00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,018

You know, Chappy's too small

to handle all this snow.

00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,228

Someone has to

walk him down the aisle.

00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,939

- Would this person be in the wedding?

- I guess.

00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:40,649

- I'll do it!

- I'll do it!

00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:44,278

Chandler, hello?

I mean, aren't you scared of dogs?

00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:47,323

I'm not scared.

I'll just take little Chappy and...

00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:50,326

He can sense my fear!

My throat is exposed!

00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:55,289

Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then.

00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,209

He stinks.

00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:01,962

Level one alert! I repeat,

level one, this is not a drill!

00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:05,716

We have a situation. The minister called.

He's snowed in, he can't make it.

00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,802

- Oh, no.

JOEY: Hey, don't worry.

00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:10,179

- I'm still ordained from your wedding.

- Really?

00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:14,683

Yeah. You think I'd give up being

a minister and pay to ride the subway?

00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:17,770

Ministers don't ride the subway for free.

00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:21,273

I had to read the Bible pretty carefully,

but, yeah, we do.

00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,569

We have to find someone else

to walk Phoebe down the aisle.

00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,321

I'll do it!

00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,241

[CHUCKLING]

00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:33,494

Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position.

00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,871

Chandler, come with me.

00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:46,257

Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony,

and Chandler's giving you away.

00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,051

Oh, okay. Hi, new Dad.

00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:56,809

- So you ready to do this?

- Oh, my God. This is really happening.

00:23:56,977 --> 00:24:01,605

- Uh-huh. I'm so happy for you, honey.

PHOEBE: Thank you.

00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:05,401

I love you.

Wait, wait! No hugs! The dresses!

00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,278

- Oh, what the hell.

- Oh, come on.

00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,113

[MOANING]

00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,240

- I love you guys.

- I love you.

00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:15,661

Okay, it's zero hour!

All teams execute on my count!

00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:19,331

Let's get this bad boy on the road!

00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:21,959

Is it okay I want you

to wear that headset in bed?

00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,837

I have you scheduled for nudity

at 2300 hours.

00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,338

Oh, yeah.

00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:29,925

Okay, Marjorie, hit it.

00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:43,856

- Jeez, Ross. You could've showered.

- It's the dog.

00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,487

Groomsman? Why are you standing

there? Where's your bridesmaid?

00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:52,740

We've got a broken arrow!

Bridesmaid down!

00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,075

Oh, that's me.

00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:02,333

- Ready?

- Okay.

00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,461

Oh, wait. Oh, no. Wait.

00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:12,134

Wow. Aren't you gonna be cold?

00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:13,636

I don't care.

00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:16,639

I'll be my "something blue."

00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,020

- You look beautiful.

- Thank you.

00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:30,152

[STEEL DRUM PLAYS]

00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:05,312

My God.

00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,023

- Aren't you freezing?

- Nuh-uh.

00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:16,156

Friends. Family.

00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:18,200

Dog.

00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,746

Thank you all for being here

to witness this blessed event.

00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,834

The cold has now spread

to my special place...

00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:31,505

...so I'm gonna do

the short version of this.

00:26:32,966 --> 00:26:35,175

Phoebe and Mike

are perfect for each other.

00:26:35,343 --> 00:26:37,595

And I know I speak for everyone here...

00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:41,515

...when I wish them

a lifetime of happiness.

00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:43,851

Who has the rings?

00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:49,857

Okay.

00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:55,779

When I was growing up,

I didn't have a normal mom and dad...

00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:58,866

...or a regular family like everybody else.

00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:02,494

And I always knew

that something was missing.

00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,790

But now I'm standing here today...

00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,919

...knowing that I have everything

I'm ever gonna need.

00:27:11,254 --> 00:27:13,589

You are my family.

00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:25,142

Phoebe, you are so beautiful.

00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:28,395

You're so kind. You're so generous.

00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:31,023

You're so wonderfully weird.

00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:36,570

Every day with you is an adventure.

00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:39,573

And I can't believe how lucky I am.

00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:43,243

And I can't wait

to share my life with you forever.

00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,749

Oh, wait! Oh, I forgot. And...

00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,334

...I love you.

00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,837

And you have nice eyes.

00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:57,549

I love you too.

00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,343

- Joey?

- Yeah?

00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:02,805

Chappy's heart rate

has slowed way down.

00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:07,101

Okay. Phoebe...

00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:10,020

...do you take this man

to be your husband?

00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:11,814

I do.

00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:14,316

Oh...

00:28:14,484 --> 00:28:18,612

Mike, do you take this woman

to be your wife?

00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,614

I do.

00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,785

I now pronounce you...

00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:27,996

...husband and wife.

00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:36,839

I got married!

00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,887

Could someone get me a coat?

I'm frigging freezing.

00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:48,100

[STEEL DRUM PLAYS]

00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:54,481

- It really was an incredible wedding.

- It was.

00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:56,817

I kind of don't want it to end.

Hey...

00:28:56,985 --> 00:29:00,028

...you wanna come in for a drink

and a bite of corsage?

00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:02,906

I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours...

00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:06,827

...and I'm about to have the most

organized sex anyone's ever had.

00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,204

- Whatever happened to Ross?

- I don't know.

00:29:09,372 --> 00:29:11,832

Maybe he hooked up with that

hot girl he talked to.

00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,335

Come on, Chappy! Do your business!

Make!

00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:16,587

[CHAPPY WHIMPERING]

00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,797

Make!

00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:22,718

I did not sign on for this.

00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:29,016

[English - US - SDH]