Загрузка
00:00
/
23:11
Рейчел проходит собеседование в ресторане Gucci, однако её босс из Ralph Lauren застаёт её за соседним столиком, и в итоге её увольняют. Её неадекватное поведение перед представителем Gucci (Брент Спинер) также приводит к тому, что она не получает эту работу. По иронии судьбы она случайно встречает своего старого коллегу Марка из Bloomingdale's, который организует ей собеседование, которое она успешно проходит, но предложение о работе поступает от Louis Vuitton в Париже. Недавно вышедшая замуж Фиби пытается сменить имя на Фиби Ханниган, но, узнав от государственного служащего (Крейг Робинсон), что она может менять имя на любое, она меняет его на «Принцесса Консуэла Бананахаммок», но настаивает, чтобы друзья называли её Валери. Майк не впечатлён этим и решает показать свою правоту, сменив своё имя на «Дерьмовый мешок». В конце концов принцесса Консуэла получает желаемое и снова меняет имя на Фиби Буффе-Ханниган, хотя изначально хотела оставить имя Бананахаммок, пока Майк не сказал ей, что это плавки-спидо. Тем временем Моника и Чендлер умоляют подавленного Джоуи показать им их новый дом, и он встречает восьмилетнюю девочку (Дакота Фаннинг), которая заставляет его понять, что он должен отпустить их.

Эпизод с принцессой Консуэлой

The One with Princess Consuela
Сезон: 10Серия: 14

Описание

Рейчел проходит собеседование в ресторане Gucci, однако её босс из Ralph Lauren застаёт её за соседним столиком, и в итоге её увольняют. Её неадекватное поведение перед представителем Gucci (Брент Спинер) также приводит к тому, что она не получает эту работу. По иронии судьбы она случайно встречает своего старого коллегу Марка из Bloomingdale's, который организует ей собеседование, которое она успешно проходит, но предложение о работе поступает от Louis Vuitton в Париже. Недавно вышедшая замуж Фиби пытается сменить имя на Фиби Ханниган, но, узнав от государственного служащего (Крейг Робинсон), что она может менять имя на любое, она меняет его на «Принцесса Консуэла Бананахаммок», но настаивает, чтобы друзья называли её Валери. Майк не впечатлён этим и решает показать свою правоту, сменив своё имя на «Дерьмовый мешок». В конце концов принцесса Консуэла получает желаемое и снова меняет имя на Фиби Буффе-Ханниган, хотя изначально хотела оставить имя Бананахаммок, пока Майк не сказал ей, что это плавки-спидо. Тем временем Моника и Чендлер умоляют подавленного Джоуи показать им их новый дом, и он встречает восьмилетнюю девочку (Дакота Фаннинг), которая заставляет его понять, что он должен отпустить их.

Субтитры

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,260

- Yeah, this is fun, couples night.

- I don't know why we don't hang out...

00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,596

-...with married couples more often.

- Because every time we do...

00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,975

...you make jokes about swinging

and scare them away.

00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:21,022

You mean that Portuguese couple?

Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.

00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:25,735

Hey, you guys, I have great news.

00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:30,948

- Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner.

- Oh, well, I already ate, but sure.

00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:37,288

- Guess what happened at work today.

- A dinosaur died a million years ago?

00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,459

Uh, try 65 million years ago.

And then try: Shh!

00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,673

My tenure review board met today,

and I hear it's looking really good.

00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,883

PHOEBE: Wow.

- Yeah.

00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,677

Do you have any idea what this

means in academic circles?

00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,888

I am gonna get laid.

00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,142

- Hi, you guys.

CHANDLER: Hey.

00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,643

Oh, Italian.

00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,354

No one--

No one wanted seconds, right?

00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,898

No, I'm good.

00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,568

Guys, you're never gonna believe it.

This headhunter called me.

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:11,739

I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci.

Gucci wants me.

00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,824

- I'm up for tenure.

- Congratulations.

00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,911

- You too. What are the odds?

- Oh...

00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,662

Guess what.

00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,792

I finally got that seed out of my teeth.

00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,212

I don't know who I'm happiest for.

00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,090

I do. He's been working on that all day.

00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:25,271

Hey, Mon, was it weird

changing your name to Geller Bing?

00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:29,191

No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this.

00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,861

- Where'd you go to do it?

- Um, the--

00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,905

The Ministry of Names...

00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,741

...Bureau.

00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,077

You never did it.

00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538

I'm sorry. It's just the idea of--

00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,457

Of being an official Bing.

00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,587

Hey, I will have you know that--

00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:53,841

Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid

Geller and let Bing die with me.

00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,886

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,054

Honey, would you want me

to take your name?

00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,474

Oh, it's up to you. It's your name.

You've gotta live with it.

00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,936

- Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan.

- Mrs. Hannigan?

00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,439

What, can't you see I'm

in the middle of something?

00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,692

I like it.

00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,612

- Hey, guys.

CHANDLER: Hey, Joe.

00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,740

We got things to check out

at the new house. You want to come?

00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:21,202

- No, thank you.

- You're not happy about us moving...

00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,787

...but you're the only one

who hasn't seen the house.

00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,623

You'll see how close it is to the city.

00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,626

No, it's not close.

You said it was in escrow.

00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,003

I couldn't even find that on the map.

00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:38,010

Joey, please come.

It would mean so much to us.

00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,973

You know what? You are my friends.

I want to be supportive.

00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392

- I will come with you. Shotgun.

- Damn it.

00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,479

See you guys later.

We'll pick you up at 11.

00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,689

- So glad you're coming.

- All right.

00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:55,194

- Good for you. That was really mature.

- What? The only reason I'm going...

00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,656

...to their stupid new house is to

point out everything wrong with it...

00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,533

...so they don't move.

I'm gonna make them stay here.

00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,370

You're a strange kind of grown-up.

00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:09,291

Joey, you can't make someone do

something they don't want to do.

00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,962

Believe me. There's something I've been

trying to get Mike to do in bed, and--

00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:18,467

- Whoa. Can we not talk about that now?

- All right. Prude.

00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222

Look, Monica and Chandler

really love this house.

00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,683

You are not gonna talk them

into staying here.

00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,560

Hey, I can convince people

to do anything, you know?

00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,897

I bet I could even get Mike

to do that thing. What is it'?

00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,695

I am not gonna help you do that!

00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,905

Oh, my God.

00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:50,332

Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell,

with Gucci.

00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,585

The reservation's probably under Gucci.

00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,839

It's spelled like "gucky,"

which can be confusing.

00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:01,635

Mr. Campbell's not here yet.

Let me show you to his table.

00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,434

Oh, my God. That's my boss.

You have to seat us somewhere else.

00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,811

I'm sorry, that's always

Mr. Campbell's table.

00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:15,024

But my boss cannot see me.

I'm interviewing for another job.

00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,694

- I know. With Gucky.

- Shh!

00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,782

- Rachel?

- I'm on a date.

00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,327

That's great.

00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,039

Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough.

Single mom. Career.

00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,833

You gotta get out there.

00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:36,587

- Well, you've got a good energy.

- Oh.

00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088

- Rachel?

- Yes, hi.

00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,715

- James Campbell.

- Hi.

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425

- Excuse us.

- Please.

00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,926

Okay.

00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,136

Oh.

00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,097

He's cute.

00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,099

So...

00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,685

...your resume is quite impressive.

00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:55,939

My, ha, ha... My résumé?

00:05:56,106 --> 00:06:01,487

I wouldn't-- I wouldn't call

my online dating profile a résumé.

00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,032

Dating profile? No, I'm--

I'm talking about the work résumé.

00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,451

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:12,456

Whatever happened to just singing

for no reason?

00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,377

Maybe people found it weird.

00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,963

- Maybe.

CAMPBELL: 80...

00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,467

- Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?

- What?

00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,302

- I don't.

- You don't?

00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,346

No, I love-- I love it there.

00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,682

Well, if you don't want to leave,

why are we having this lunch?

00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,185

[WHISPERING]

That is my boss.

00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,436

What?

00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,563

[WHISPERING]

That is my boss.

00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,482

That's Hugo Boss?

00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:50,035

God, this place is so depressing.

If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.

00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,582

But you obviously haven't.

00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,837

- How can I help you?

- I need to change my name, please.

00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:03,674

See, I need to change it

because I'm hiding from the law.

00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,719

You're fun.

00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,973

- You need to fill out this form.

- Okay. Well, just so I know--

00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,475

I don't know how it works.

My name is Buffay...

00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,436

...and my husband's name is Hannigan.

00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,689

So is it supposed to be

"Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"?

00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,442

- It can be anything you want.

- Well, not anything.

00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,153

Yeah. Anything.

00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,031

Oh, this could take a while.

00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,910

- Get out of my line.

- Okay.

00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,749

- Hey.

MONICA: Hey, Pheebs.

00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,586

Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.

00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,256

- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.

- Wrong again.

00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,218

Apparently,

you can change it to anything.

00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430

So I thought, "All right, here's an

opportunity to be creative."

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,350

So meet Princess Consuela

Bananahammock.

00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,193

That's what we were

gonna name the baby.

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,324

- Phoebe.

- Ah, Princess Consuela.

00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,202

- You changed your name to that?

- Uh-huh.

00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,580

Okay, so from now on, we have to call

you Princess Consuela?

00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,917

No, I'm gonna have my friends

call me Valerie.

00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,382

- Hey, how did the interview go?

- Ugh. Not good.

00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,637

I always feel that way after an interview

I'll bet it went better than you think.

00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:36,683

Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci

and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.

00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,144

That is a bad interview.

00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,772

What are you talking about?

How did this happen?

00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,901

My boss was at the same restaurant

where I was having my interview...

00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,528

...and he heard everything.

00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,532

Later, he calls me into his office

and tells me he'll have to let me go...

00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,325

...because I'm not a team player.

00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,494

And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am."

00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,121

And then I had to sit there

for 45 minutes...

00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:02,876

...while he proved that

that, in fact, was true.

00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,797

- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

- God.

00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,674

H93'-

00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,969

What--? What's this?

00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:16,181

Why, it's a bottle of champagne.

Why is this here?

00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,100

- Ross.

- I guess it's here...

00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,851

...because I got tenure!

00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,937

ALL: Congratulations.

- Wow.

00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,357

This is the single greatest day

of my professional career.

00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,693

- Gunther. Six glasses.

- Six?

00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,405

- You want me to join you?

- I thought Joey was here. Five is good.

00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,078

Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey

in my coffee tomorrow.

00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,623

Ooh. Israeli champagne.

00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,001

And it's vanilla.

00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,254

I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.

00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,674

Hey, Rach, so, uh,

how did your thing go?

00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,760

Oh, good. But I won't hear about that

for a couple days.

00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,097

Oh, you know what,

you're gonna get it. I can feel it.

00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,932

Can yQu'_7

00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,393

All right, everybody, here's to Ross.

00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:06,064

And to years of hard work

finally paying off.

00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:10,235

And to knowing that your career

doesn't mean everything.

00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:14,239

But also knowing it means a lot.

00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,909

But more importantly, to full,

well-rounded lives.

00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,870

That center around work.

00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,039

- To Ross.

ROSS: To Ross.

00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,588

You know what the best part

about this is? I can never be fired.

00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,131

- Oh, God.

ROSS: No, seriously.

00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,634

I have job security for life.

00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,178

You know?

I mean, I never have to worry.

00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,765

Oh, look at you.

Look how happy you are for me.

00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,646

[CRYING]

No, it's not that. I got fired today.

00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,106

And I didn't get the other job.

00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:54,363

- Oh, my-- Rach, I'm so sorry.

- Oh...

00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,283

- Great, I feel like an idiot.

- No, it's okay. You didn't know.

00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,037

Little heads-up would've been nice.

00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,465

Thank you for letting us

see the house again.

00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,218

And thank you for explaining

to us what "escrow" means.

00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,429

I've already forgotten what you said,

but thank you.

00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,641

Take as long as you want.

Just let me know when you're through.

00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,351

MONICA:

Okay, thanks.

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:28,730

- Aw, so glad you decided to come.

- Me, too. Yeah, this place is great.

00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:33,610

So happy for you guys. Although,

you know, I hope you like fungus.

00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,446

- What?

- Fungus.

00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,365

Yeah. Place is full of it.

00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:42,160

No, it's not. We had an inspection

and they didn't find anything.

00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,872

Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes

and a scratchy throat for no reason.

00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,959

Maybe it's because you hung your head

out the window like a dog...

00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,836

...the whole ride here.

00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,214

Maybe.

00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,760

So this is the living room, huh?

It's pretty dark.

00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,474

- No, it's not.

- Are you kidding?

00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,185

I think I just saw a bat in the corner.

00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:12,190

When your head was hanging out

the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?

00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,860

Maybe.

00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,448

Look, I just think you guys can

do better than this house, you know?

00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,533

Or any other house for that matter.

00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993

Oh, Joey.

00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,787

We know you're having a hard

time with this, but we--

00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,665

- We love it here.

- Fine! If you love this house so much...

00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,002

...you should live here. I hope you

get used to that humming sound.

00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,546

[HUMMING]

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,174

- Joey, we know that's you.

- No...

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,383

...it's not.

00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,552

[CONTINUES HUMMING]

00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,723

- Hey.

PHOEBE: Hey.

00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,017

- Welcome back.

- I missed you.

00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,977

- Oh, me too.

- So, what's new?

00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,605

Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay.

00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,274

- That's great. You changed your name?

PHOEBE: Yes, I did.

00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,570

Meet Princess Consuela

Bananahammock.

00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,240

- You're kidding, right?

- Nope.

00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,409

- You really did that?

- Yep.

00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745

You can't do that.

00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,246

Why?

00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,750

Why? It's fun. It's different.

No one else has a name like it.

00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,045

Then I'm gonna change my name.

00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,422

Great. Okay, what are

you gonna change it to?

00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,508

Crap B39-

00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,846

- Mike Crap Bag?

- No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag."

00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,016

First name: Crap. Last name: Bag.

00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,102

- You're not serious, right?

- Yeah, I'm serious.

00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,939

It's fun, it's different,

and no one else has a name like that.

00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,360

Uh-huh. Well, then great.

lfyouloveiLlloveiL

00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,613

I do love it. And I love your name.

I love Princess Consuela.

00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032

And I love Crap.

00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,164

Oh.

00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,253

- Who are you?

- Oh, hi. I'm Joey.

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,297

My stupid friends are buying this house.

Who are you?

00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,343

I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents

are selling this house.

00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,305

I hate my parents.

00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,808

I hate my friends.

00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,981

Look, there's gotta be a way

that we can stop this from happening.

00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,732

Like what?

00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:23,697

Oh! Okay, you come with me and you

tell them that the house is haunted.

00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,032

What are you, 8?

00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:34,165

- Okay. Let's hear your great idea.

- I don't have any great ideas. I am 8.

00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,296

Ah, there's gotta be a way.

I mean, you know...

00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,799

...if Monica and Chandler move out here,

and Phoebe's married to Mike...

00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,678

...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach.

You know what I mean?

00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,763

I really don't.

00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,226

What am I gonna do?

I feel like I'm losing my friends.

00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,688

- My parents say I'll make new friends.

- Yeah, sure, easy for you.

00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,858

You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways.

00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,363

This is what my mom was talking about.

Whiners are wieners.

00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,703

Look, you want your friends

to be happy, right?

00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,498

Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,920

Well, if moving here is gonna make them

happy, don't you want them to do it'?

00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,131

Yeah. Maybe.

00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468

Then you've gotta let them go.

00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,850

Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're--

00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,394

You're probably right.

00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,730

How'd you get to be so smart?

00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,107

I read a lot.

00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,111

Just when I thought we could be friends.

00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:52,118

Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry.

00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,162

Oh, thank you...

00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,207

You still don't know my name, do you?

00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,085

Well, now I don't have to.

00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,509

Ross, what is taking you so long?

00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,562

I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't

built for a quick getaway.

00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,900

Rachel?

00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,112

Mark? Oh, my God.

00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,865

MARK: How have you been?

- Fantastic. You remember Ross.

00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,201

- Sure. Sure.

RACHEL: Oh.

00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,786

What's with the chair?

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:41,042

Uh... You know, you can't always

get a seat on the subway, so...

00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,087

Clever.

00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,422

So how are you?

00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,216

Oh. You're not catching me

on my best day.

00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,428

Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff

doesn't say "big promotion."

00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,265

No, but it's good. You know,

I'm gonna take some time off...

00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434

-...and do charity work.

- Are you sure?

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,436

We may have something

at Louis Vuitton.

00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,105

Screw charity work. What do you got?

00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,149

Why don't we have dinner and talk?

00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,110

- Great. I'll call you.

- Okay.

00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,988

- Nice to see you again.

- Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure.

00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:17,871

Oh, my God.

00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,331

See? I told you something good

would come along.

00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,460

And he seemed really nice.

I've met him before?

00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,628

Ross, that's Mark.

00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,716

From Bloomingdale's?

You were insanely jealous of him.

00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,760

- That is Mark?

- Yes.

00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,344

- I hate that guy.

- Oh...

00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,182

No, no, no.

You cannot go to dinner with him.

00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:41,019

- What? You don't want me to get a job?

- Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job.

00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,146

Maybe make you his "sex-cretary."

00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,524

I'm serious.

I just don't trust that guy, okay?

00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,070

You know what--? Okay, let's talk

about it later. There comes security.

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,541

Oh, I love this street.

00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:08,546

The trees and the big front yards

and the actual picket fences.

00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,382

Man, those two dogs are going at it.

00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,011

H93'-

00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,515

- Hey. Where you been?

- Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.

00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,183

But you know what?

00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,602

This house is great.

00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562

Really? What changed your mind?

00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,483

The little girl who lives here made me

feel better about the whole thing.

00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:33,321

Joey? There was a little girl who lived here,

but she died, like, 30 years ago.

00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,036

What?

00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,373

I'm just messing with you.

00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:48,044

That's not funny.

You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.

00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756

Joey, now that you're okay with the house,

do you want to go see your room?

00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,842

What?

00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,260

I get my own room?

00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,430

You don't think we'd buy a house

and not have a Joey room, do you?

00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,100

Oh, my God.

00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,523

Hey, can I have an aquarium?

And a sex swing?

00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,903

BOTH: No.

- Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.

00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,825

After you, Ms. Bananahammock.

00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,451

Thank you, Mr. Bag.

00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,787

Oh, hey!

00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,539

PHOEBE: Oh, hi, Rita.

- How are you?

00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,749

Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client.

00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,459

Yeah.

00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,420

Why don't you introduce me?

00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,633

- Rita, this is my husband.

- Oh.

00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,219

Why don't you tell her my name?

00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:43,725

Okay, I will. This is, uh--

This is my husband, Crap Bag.

00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,936

Crap Bag?

00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:51,858

If you need an easy way to remember it,

just think of a bag of crap.

00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:57,488

- Okay. Excuse me.

- Yeah.

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:03,661

Ugh. Okay, fine, you made your point. Can

you please just be Mike Hannigan again?

00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,413

Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.

00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,959

How about, um--?

How about Buffay-Hannigan?

00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961

- Really?

- Yeah.

00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,131

I'm Phoebe

Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock.

00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,344

Do you even know what

a banana hammock is?

00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,346

It's a funny word.

00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,264

It's a Speedo.

00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,020

Oh, crap.

00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,485

- Hey, is Rachel here?

MONICA: Nope.

00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,362

She's still at dinner?

00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,948

- I guess. Why, who's she with?

- That guy, Mark...

00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,201

...from Bloomingdale's.

She thinks he's just being nice to her.

00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,495

But I know he really wants

to sleep with her.

00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,498

It's seven years ago.

00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,043

My time machine works.

00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:57,131

We ran into him on the street today,

and he said he might have a job for her.

00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,968

But I know he just wants

to get into her pants.

00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:05,056

So, what if he wants to sleep with her?

I mean, she's single, and he's cute.

00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,808

Excuse me?

00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,518

Oh, please.

00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,187

Yesterday, on the subway,

you couldn't stop staring...

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,231

...at that woman with the big breasts.

00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,025

For your information,

I was staring at her baby.

00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,236

We're about to be parents.

00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,030

Oh, sorry.

00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,043

- Hi, you guys.

- Hi. So...

00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,755

-...how was dinner?

- Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.

00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:41,718

Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What

could that smarmy letch possibly want?

00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:47,265

Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married.

His wife just had twins.

00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,559

Should we send something?

00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,645

How did the job stuff go?

00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,189

He offered me one.

00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,568

- That's great.

- Congratulations.

00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,611

I know, it's amazing.

00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:04,741

It's amazing. It's so much better

than what I had at Ralph Lauren.

00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,368

- The money is great.

- Can we--?

00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:12,040

Can we just stop for a second? Who said

something better would come along? Huh?

00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,543

You didn't believe me. I told you

everything was gonna work out.

00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,880

You know what?

This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.

00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,553

The job is in Paris.

00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,194

I mean, this soap opera is a great gig...

00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,196

...but am I missing opportunities?

00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,282

You know, I've always thought of myself

as a serious actor.

00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,951

Should I be trying to do more

independent movies?

00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,412

I don't know.

00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,291

But you know what?

I'm gonna put you on with my bear.

00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,210

Hold on.

00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:01,047

Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.

00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:06,636

[English - US - SDH]

Скриншоты