Эпизод с принцессой Консуэлой
Описание
Рейчел проходит собеседование в ресторане Gucci, однако её босс из Ralph Lauren застаёт её за соседним столиком, и в итоге её увольняют. Её неадекватное поведение перед представителем Gucci (Брент Спинер) также приводит к тому, что она не получает эту работу. По иронии судьбы она случайно встречает своего старого коллегу Марка из Bloomingdale's, который организует ей собеседование, которое она успешно проходит, но предложение о работе поступает от Louis Vuitton в Париже. Недавно вышедшая замуж Фиби пытается сменить имя на Фиби Ханниган, но, узнав от государственного служащего (Крейг Робинсон), что она может менять имя на любое, она меняет его на «Принцесса Консуэла Бананахаммок», но настаивает, чтобы друзья называли её Валери. Майк не впечатлён этим и решает показать свою правоту, сменив своё имя на «Дерьмовый мешок». В конце концов принцесса Консуэла получает желаемое и снова меняет имя на Фиби Буффе-Ханниган, хотя изначально хотела оставить имя Бананахаммок, пока Майк не сказал ей, что это плавки-спидо. Тем временем Моника и Чендлер умоляют подавленного Джоуи показать им их новый дом, и он встречает восьмилетнюю девочку (Дакота Фаннинг), которая заставляет его понять, что он должен отпустить их.
Субтитры
eng__.srt
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00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,260
- Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
- I don't know why we don't hang out...
00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,596
-...with married couples more often.
- Because every time we do...
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,975
...you make jokes about swinging
and scare them away.
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:21,022
You mean that Portuguese couple?
Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:25,735
Hey, you guys, I have great news.
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:30,948
- Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner.
- Oh, well, I already ate, but sure.
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:37,288
- Guess what happened at work today.
- A dinosaur died a million years ago?
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,459
Uh, try 65 million years ago.
And then try: Shh!
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,673
My tenure review board met today,
and I hear it's looking really good.
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,883
PHOEBE: Wow.
- Yeah.
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,677
Do you have any idea what this
means in academic circles?
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,888
I am gonna get laid.
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,142
- Hi, you guys.
CHANDLER: Hey.
00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,643
Oh, Italian.
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,354
No one--
No one wanted seconds, right?
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,898
No, I'm good.
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,568
Guys, you're never gonna believe it.
This headhunter called me.
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:11,739
I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci.
Gucci wants me.
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,824
- I'm up for tenure.
- Congratulations.
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,911
- You too. What are the odds?
- Oh...
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,662
Guess what.
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,792
I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,212
I don't know who I'm happiest for.
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,090
I do. He's been working on that all day.
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:25,271
Hey, Mon, was it weird
changing your name to Geller Bing?
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:29,191
No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this.
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,861
- Where'd you go to do it?
- Um, the--
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,905
The Ministry of Names...
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,741
...Bureau.
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,077
You never did it.
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538
I'm sorry. It's just the idea of--
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,457
Of being an official Bing.
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,587
Hey, I will have you know that--
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:53,841
Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid
Geller and let Bing die with me.
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,886
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,054
Honey, would you want me
to take your name?
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,474
Oh, it's up to you. It's your name.
You've gotta live with it.
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,936
- Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan.
- Mrs. Hannigan?
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,439
What, can't you see I'm
in the middle of something?
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,692
I like it.
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,612
- Hey, guys.
CHANDLER: Hey, Joe.
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,740
We got things to check out
at the new house. You want to come?
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:21,202
- No, thank you.
- You're not happy about us moving...
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,787
...but you're the only one
who hasn't seen the house.
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,623
You'll see how close it is to the city.
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,626
No, it's not close.
You said it was in escrow.
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,003
I couldn't even find that on the map.
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:38,010
Joey, please come.
It would mean so much to us.
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,973
You know what? You are my friends.
I want to be supportive.
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392
- I will come with you. Shotgun.
- Damn it.
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,479
See you guys later.
We'll pick you up at 11.
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,689
- So glad you're coming.
- All right.
00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:55,194
- Good for you. That was really mature.
- What? The only reason I'm going...
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,656
...to their stupid new house is to
point out everything wrong with it...
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,533
...so they don't move.
I'm gonna make them stay here.
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,370
You're a strange kind of grown-up.
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:09,291
Joey, you can't make someone do
something they don't want to do.
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,962
Believe me. There's something I've been
trying to get Mike to do in bed, and--
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:18,467
- Whoa. Can we not talk about that now?
- All right. Prude.
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222
Look, Monica and Chandler
really love this house.
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,683
You are not gonna talk them
into staying here.
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,560
Hey, I can convince people
to do anything, you know?
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,897
I bet I could even get Mike
to do that thing. What is it'?
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,695
I am not gonna help you do that!
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,905
Oh, my God.
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:50,332
Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell,
with Gucci.
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,585
The reservation's probably under Gucci.
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,839
It's spelled like "gucky,"
which can be confusing.
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:01,635
Mr. Campbell's not here yet.
Let me show you to his table.
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,434
Oh, my God. That's my boss.
You have to seat us somewhere else.
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,811
I'm sorry, that's always
Mr. Campbell's table.
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:15,024
But my boss cannot see me.
I'm interviewing for another job.
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,694
- I know. With Gucky.
- Shh!
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,782
- Rachel?
- I'm on a date.
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,327
That's great.
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,039
Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough.
Single mom. Career.
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,833
You gotta get out there.
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:36,587
- Well, you've got a good energy.
- Oh.
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088
- Rachel?
- Yes, hi.
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,715
- James Campbell.
- Hi.
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425
- Excuse us.
- Please.
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,926
Okay.
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,136
Oh.
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,097
He's cute.
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,099
So...
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,685
...your resume is quite impressive.
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:55,939
My, ha, ha... My résumé?
00:05:56,106 --> 00:06:01,487
I wouldn't-- I wouldn't call
my online dating profile a résumé.
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,032
Dating profile? No, I'm--
I'm talking about the work résumé.
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,451
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:12,456
Whatever happened to just singing
for no reason?
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,377
Maybe people found it weird.
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,963
- Maybe.
CAMPBELL: 80...
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,467
- Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
- What?
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,302
- I don't.
- You don't?
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,346
No, I love-- I love it there.
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,682
Well, if you don't want to leave,
why are we having this lunch?
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,185
[WHISPERING]
That is my boss.
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,436
What?
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,563
[WHISPERING]
That is my boss.
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,482
That's Hugo Boss?
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:50,035
God, this place is so depressing.
If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,582
But you obviously haven't.
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,837
- How can I help you?
- I need to change my name, please.
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:03,674
See, I need to change it
because I'm hiding from the law.
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,719
You're fun.
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,973
- You need to fill out this form.
- Okay. Well, just so I know--
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,475
I don't know how it works.
My name is Buffay...
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,436
...and my husband's name is Hannigan.
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,689
So is it supposed to be
"Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"?
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,442
- It can be anything you want.
- Well, not anything.
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,153
Yeah. Anything.
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,031
Oh, this could take a while.
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,910
- Get out of my line.
- Okay.
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,749
- Hey.
MONICA: Hey, Pheebs.
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,586
Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,256
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.
- Wrong again.
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,218
Apparently,
you can change it to anything.
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430
So I thought, "All right, here's an
opportunity to be creative."
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,350
So meet Princess Consuela
Bananahammock.
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,193
That's what we were
gonna name the baby.
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,324
- Phoebe.
- Ah, Princess Consuela.
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,202
- You changed your name to that?
- Uh-huh.
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,580
Okay, so from now on, we have to call
you Princess Consuela?
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,917
No, I'm gonna have my friends
call me Valerie.
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,382
- Hey, how did the interview go?
- Ugh. Not good.
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,637
I always feel that way after an interview
I'll bet it went better than you think.
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:36,683
Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci
and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,144
That is a bad interview.
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,772
What are you talking about?
How did this happen?
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,901
My boss was at the same restaurant
where I was having my interview...
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,528
...and he heard everything.
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,532
Later, he calls me into his office
and tells me he'll have to let me go...
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,325
...because I'm not a team player.
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,494
And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am."
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,121
And then I had to sit there
for 45 minutes...
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:02,876
...while he proved that
that, in fact, was true.
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,797
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
- God.
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,674
H93'-
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,969
What--? What's this?
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:16,181
Why, it's a bottle of champagne.
Why is this here?
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,100
- Ross.
- I guess it's here...
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,851
...because I got tenure!
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,937
ALL: Congratulations.
- Wow.
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,357
This is the single greatest day
of my professional career.
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,693
- Gunther. Six glasses.
- Six?
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,405
- You want me to join you?
- I thought Joey was here. Five is good.
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,078
Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey
in my coffee tomorrow.
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,623
Ooh. Israeli champagne.
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,001
And it's vanilla.
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,254
I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,674
Hey, Rach, so, uh,
how did your thing go?
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,760
Oh, good. But I won't hear about that
for a couple days.
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,097
Oh, you know what,
you're gonna get it. I can feel it.
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,932
Can yQu'_7
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,393
All right, everybody, here's to Ross.
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:06,064
And to years of hard work
finally paying off.
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:10,235
And to knowing that your career
doesn't mean everything.
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:14,239
But also knowing it means a lot.
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,909
But more importantly, to full,
well-rounded lives.
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,870
That center around work.
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,039
- To Ross.
ROSS: To Ross.
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,588
You know what the best part
about this is? I can never be fired.
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,131
- Oh, God.
ROSS: No, seriously.
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,634
I have job security for life.
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,178
You know?
I mean, I never have to worry.
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,765
Oh, look at you.
Look how happy you are for me.
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,646
[CRYING]
No, it's not that. I got fired today.
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,106
And I didn't get the other job.
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:54,363
- Oh, my-- Rach, I'm so sorry.
- Oh...
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,283
- Great, I feel like an idiot.
- No, it's okay. You didn't know.
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,037
Little heads-up would've been nice.
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,465
Thank you for letting us
see the house again.
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,218
And thank you for explaining
to us what "escrow" means.
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,429
I've already forgotten what you said,
but thank you.
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,641
Take as long as you want.
Just let me know when you're through.
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,351
MONICA:
Okay, thanks.
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:28,730
- Aw, so glad you decided to come.
- Me, too. Yeah, this place is great.
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:33,610
So happy for you guys. Although,
you know, I hope you like fungus.
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,446
- What?
- Fungus.
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,365
Yeah. Place is full of it.
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:42,160
No, it's not. We had an inspection
and they didn't find anything.
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,872
Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes
and a scratchy throat for no reason.
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,959
Maybe it's because you hung your head
out the window like a dog...
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,836
...the whole ride here.
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,214
Maybe.
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,760
So this is the living room, huh?
It's pretty dark.
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,474
- No, it's not.
- Are you kidding?
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,185
I think I just saw a bat in the corner.
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:12,190
When your head was hanging out
the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,860
Maybe.
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,448
Look, I just think you guys can
do better than this house, you know?
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,533
Or any other house for that matter.
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993
Oh, Joey.
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,787
We know you're having a hard
time with this, but we--
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,665
- We love it here.
- Fine! If you love this house so much...
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,002
...you should live here. I hope you
get used to that humming sound.
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,546
[HUMMING]
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,174
- Joey, we know that's you.
- No...
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,383
...it's not.
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,552
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,723
- Hey.
PHOEBE: Hey.
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,017
- Welcome back.
- I missed you.
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,977
- Oh, me too.
- So, what's new?
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,605
Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay.
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,274
- That's great. You changed your name?
PHOEBE: Yes, I did.
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,570
Meet Princess Consuela
Bananahammock.
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,240
- You're kidding, right?
- Nope.
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,409
- You really did that?
- Yep.
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745
You can't do that.
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,246
Why?
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,750
Why? It's fun. It's different.
No one else has a name like it.
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,045
Then I'm gonna change my name.
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,422
Great. Okay, what are
you gonna change it to?
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,508
Crap B39-
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,846
- Mike Crap Bag?
- No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag."
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,016
First name: Crap. Last name: Bag.
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,102
- You're not serious, right?
- Yeah, I'm serious.
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,939
It's fun, it's different,
and no one else has a name like that.
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,360
Uh-huh. Well, then great.
lfyouloveiLlloveiL
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,613
I do love it. And I love your name.
I love Princess Consuela.
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032
And I love Crap.
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,164
Oh.
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,253
- Who are you?
- Oh, hi. I'm Joey.
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,297
My stupid friends are buying this house.
Who are you?
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,343
I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents
are selling this house.
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,305
I hate my parents.
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,808
I hate my friends.
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,981
Look, there's gotta be a way
that we can stop this from happening.
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,732
Like what?
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:23,697
Oh! Okay, you come with me and you
tell them that the house is haunted.
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,032
What are you, 8?
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:34,165
- Okay. Let's hear your great idea.
- I don't have any great ideas. I am 8.
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,296
Ah, there's gotta be a way.
I mean, you know...
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,799
...if Monica and Chandler move out here,
and Phoebe's married to Mike...
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,678
...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach.
You know what I mean?
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,763
I really don't.
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,226
What am I gonna do?
I feel like I'm losing my friends.
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,688
- My parents say I'll make new friends.
- Yeah, sure, easy for you.
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,858
You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways.
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,363
This is what my mom was talking about.
Whiners are wieners.
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,703
Look, you want your friends
to be happy, right?
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,498
Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,920
Well, if moving here is gonna make them
happy, don't you want them to do it'?
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,131
Yeah. Maybe.
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468
Then you've gotta let them go.
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,850
Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're--
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,394
You're probably right.
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,730
How'd you get to be so smart?
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,107
I read a lot.
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,111
Just when I thought we could be friends.
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:52,118
Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry.
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,162
Oh, thank you...
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,207
You still don't know my name, do you?
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,085
Well, now I don't have to.
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,509
Ross, what is taking you so long?
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,562
I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't
built for a quick getaway.
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,900
Rachel?
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,112
Mark? Oh, my God.
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,865
MARK: How have you been?
- Fantastic. You remember Ross.
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,201
- Sure. Sure.
RACHEL: Oh.
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,786
What's with the chair?
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:41,042
Uh... You know, you can't always
get a seat on the subway, so...
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,087
Clever.
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,422
So how are you?
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,216
Oh. You're not catching me
on my best day.
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,428
Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff
doesn't say "big promotion."
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,265
No, but it's good. You know,
I'm gonna take some time off...
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434
-...and do charity work.
- Are you sure?
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,436
We may have something
at Louis Vuitton.
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,105
Screw charity work. What do you got?
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,149
Why don't we have dinner and talk?
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,110
- Great. I'll call you.
- Okay.
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,988
- Nice to see you again.
- Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure.
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:17,871
Oh, my God.
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,331
See? I told you something good
would come along.
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,460
And he seemed really nice.
I've met him before?
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,628
Ross, that's Mark.
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,716
From Bloomingdale's?
You were insanely jealous of him.
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,760
- That is Mark?
- Yes.
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,344
- I hate that guy.
- Oh...
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,182
No, no, no.
You cannot go to dinner with him.
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:41,019
- What? You don't want me to get a job?
- Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job.
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,146
Maybe make you his "sex-cretary."
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,524
I'm serious.
I just don't trust that guy, okay?
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,070
You know what--? Okay, let's talk
about it later. There comes security.
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,541
Oh, I love this street.
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:08,546
The trees and the big front yards
and the actual picket fences.
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,382
Man, those two dogs are going at it.
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,011
H93'-
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,515
- Hey. Where you been?
- Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,183
But you know what?
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,602
This house is great.
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562
Really? What changed your mind?
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,483
The little girl who lives here made me
feel better about the whole thing.
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:33,321
Joey? There was a little girl who lived here,
but she died, like, 30 years ago.
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,036
What?
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,373
I'm just messing with you.
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:48,044
That's not funny.
You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756
Joey, now that you're okay with the house,
do you want to go see your room?
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,842
What?
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,260
I get my own room?
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,430
You don't think we'd buy a house
and not have a Joey room, do you?
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,100
Oh, my God.
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,523
Hey, can I have an aquarium?
And a sex swing?
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,903
BOTH: No.
- Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,825
After you, Ms. Bananahammock.
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,451
Thank you, Mr. Bag.
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,787
Oh, hey!
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,539
PHOEBE: Oh, hi, Rita.
- How are you?
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,749
Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client.
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,459
Yeah.
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,420
Why don't you introduce me?
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,633
- Rita, this is my husband.
- Oh.
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,219
Why don't you tell her my name?
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:43,725
Okay, I will. This is, uh--
This is my husband, Crap Bag.
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,936
Crap Bag?
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:51,858
If you need an easy way to remember it,
just think of a bag of crap.
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:57,488
- Okay. Excuse me.
- Yeah.
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:03,661
Ugh. Okay, fine, you made your point. Can
you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,413
Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,959
How about, um--?
How about Buffay-Hannigan?
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961
- Really?
- Yeah.
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,131
I'm Phoebe
Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock.
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,344
Do you even know what
a banana hammock is?
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,346
It's a funny word.
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,264
It's a Speedo.
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,020
Oh, crap.
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,485
- Hey, is Rachel here?
MONICA: Nope.
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,362
She's still at dinner?
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,948
- I guess. Why, who's she with?
- That guy, Mark...
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,201
...from Bloomingdale's.
She thinks he's just being nice to her.
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,495
But I know he really wants
to sleep with her.
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,498
It's seven years ago.
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,043
My time machine works.
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:57,131
We ran into him on the street today,
and he said he might have a job for her.
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,968
But I know he just wants
to get into her pants.
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:05,056
So, what if he wants to sleep with her?
I mean, she's single, and he's cute.
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,808
Excuse me?
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,518
Oh, please.
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,187
Yesterday, on the subway,
you couldn't stop staring...
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,231
...at that woman with the big breasts.
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,025
For your information,
I was staring at her baby.
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,236
We're about to be parents.
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,030
Oh, sorry.
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,043
- Hi, you guys.
- Hi. So...
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,755
-...how was dinner?
- Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:41,718
Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What
could that smarmy letch possibly want?
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:47,265
Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married.
His wife just had twins.
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,559
Should we send something?
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,645
How did the job stuff go?
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,189
He offered me one.
00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,568
- That's great.
- Congratulations.
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,611
I know, it's amazing.
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:04,741
It's amazing. It's so much better
than what I had at Ralph Lauren.
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,368
- The money is great.
- Can we--?
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:12,040
Can we just stop for a second? Who said
something better would come along? Huh?
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,543
You didn't believe me. I told you
everything was gonna work out.
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,880
You know what?
This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.
00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,553
The job is in Paris.
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,194
I mean, this soap opera is a great gig...
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,196
...but am I missing opportunities?
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,282
You know, I've always thought of myself
as a serious actor.
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,951
Should I be trying to do more
independent movies?
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,412
I don't know.
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,291
But you know what?
I'm gonna put you on with my bear.
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,210
Hold on.
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:01,047
Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.
00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:06,636
[English - US - SDH]
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